Monday, August 3, 2009


I've been lucky. Always slept like a baby. Until recently. Menopause is going to kill me. I've become a night owl and I'm pissed.

This is often what my night looks like now. A good magazine, a lavender sachet (calming), cat food, a cat, lip balm and what the hell is that? Coffee?!!!! No wonder I'm up!

Beauty found in the wee hours of morn.

P.S. Oh, and hedges. Look at that. You realize the hedge is supposed to be around the bottom of the flag. I let it grow because the bloom is so fragrant. What? I did trim it back a bit so the kitties could see out the windows.


otin said...

I am a very daylight loving person, I never really have been a night owl, maybe that is why I was never a great nightclub hopping guy. I was always the one at the bar who was yawning and looking at his watch, exciting, huh? Coffee will do that to you, but it is such good stuff!!! Have a good day, time for me to try and go make some money!!!

Leah said...

I'm a night owl, lately sorta against my will. I find that the dark quiet is when my creativity starts flowing, and it's when I write usually. With a cup of coffee in hand!

Maybe you could start a painting? Although you probably need natural light for never mind...or you could start an Insomnia Painting. I like the photos you took--the dim glow is nice.

Oh and re: the afghan. I know just the pattern you mean, I think--was it a chevron pattern? It's very easy--that and ripple afghans (which you probably saw on my knitting blog). You could easily remember how to do it. They are crocheted, you're right--but one can also knit chevron. I've done lots of dish cloths in that pattern.

just bob said...

Go to sleep would ya?

bindhiya said...

Dear Suze,
I cannot sleep at sunday night.. is it insomnia too?? only sunday night and monday a bit...
my friend Maria give me a advice in the first year i was in NY. "Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even if you didn't get enough sleep."
I can't sleep during the day..
pic are beautiful as always.
love you dear

Abi said...

What lovely dark pictures, your home always looks so inviting and pretty..

Sod neatness, fragrance is definitely the way to go :D

I'm sorry you're not sleeping well..

Abi said...


I know you don't read my blog, and that's fine by me! I was just going to say if you ever did drop by, I'm having to change it to invitation only, so if you wanted an invite, just mail me at and I'd be more than happy x (didn't want you to feel like I'd shut a door in your face! Just in case!)

MARIA said...

Insomnia, it is not strange to me too.
If I start to read a book I fall asleep.
You are a great photographer, Suzanne! I love your pics!

Love and happiness be always with you!

Suzanne said...

Okay, just so you ALL know, I can only sit here for 1/2 hour because I have too much to do today. Now, if someone would like to come over and help me with chores (hint, hint), then I can stay for 1 hour!
Congrats, you're #1! I'm a daylight loving person too. Actually, I'm a morning person. I love watching the sun come up and the day begin. It's peaceful, the birds start singing and life is beautiful. Like you, I've never been a night person, but unfortunately I'm going through perimenopause this past year and it's in the driver's seat. I'm just being yanked along for the ride. And like our dear friend Bindi down below, I can't sleep during the day either, so whatever sleep I get at night, that's it. I'm hoping this phase of my life is over quickly!

And coffee. I used to love is so and had to have my HUGE cup of Latte in the morning, but even that's changed over the past few months. I assume that's menopause too. I'm down to a very, very small cup of coffee in the morning and I end up pouring half of it down the drain. Oh, and I realize the coffee in the photo isn't coffee, it's Earl Grey Tea. Big difference.

Hope you're making good money on this beautiful Monday. It's gorgeous here because the Delta Breeze has returned. The Delta Breeze is created when cold air comes from the ocean and into the San Francisco Bay then travels up the delta. Rather than temps hovering at 110, they're back in the 80's. It's simply stunning today. Hope it is where you are too. I didn't watch news this morning, so don't know. And thanks for always stopping by dear.


Are you a comedian? You said I should paint at night and I started to laugh. Then I read the next sentence and laughed harder. You're a funny girl Ms. L! There's a very, very famous artist who paints only at night because it's when the house is quiet. She has kids, a hubby, lots of responsibilites during the day with her business, etc. so her studio is equipped to simulate daytime. I think it's mostly fluorescent lighting because it's closest to day light. I couldn't do that because I hate fluorescent lighting. Would I love to paint in the wee hours of morn? Absolutely because it's very peaceful and I need peace to paint, but it's not going to happen. I actually wonder when she sleeps?!

I'm back. I had to take the rugs out of the laundry and put a new load in, then the phone rang. It was Cece. Cece love to call on her drive home from work. Yes they can still use the cell while driving, but recently passed a law in Arkansas that bans anyone under 18 from texting. Thank God!!! But we got laughing way to hard because we questioned the difference between an 18 year old texting and a 35 year old texting!!! What? Sometimes laws are just funny. We can't text or use the cell here in CA while driving, no matter what age. I do love CA for so many reason. And then we got laughing about texting in general. We both agree, who the hell has the time???!!! Cece had me in stitches when she said, "It takes less time to pick up the damn phone!"

Suzanne said...

(Yes, I was over 4,000. What is that new crap?)

I multi task when we chat. I do laundry, sweep, load the dishwasher, etc. and she's forever saying, "I can't hear you," especially when I'm loading the dishwasher. Man I just fling the stuff in. No, not really, I'm terribly organized, but loading it is noisy. She's a great lady and took a terrible insult today. Some old gent in a wheel chair said something really unkind about the size of her ass as she passed and the nurse pushing him laughed. Cece, being the professional she is said something completely charming. I would have knocked him on his ass if he'd said that to me and I would take that nurse and kicked her into next year. But Cece's philosphy: "He'll be dead in a few months and he ain't gettin' any!" Amen. And the nurse? Cece said "I wanted to kill her." Man, I just can't believe how rude and thoughtless people are. It was a great conversation as always. Talking to Cece is a joy. She calls both Rob and me now that we're divorced and it's simply a joy.

Do you think I've gone over 4,000 words. I do. We'll see because I'm about to post this. And I haven't even discussed yarn. I'll be back.

XO Moi

Suzanne said...

Okay, now about yarn, knitting and crocheting. I can't leave a message on your yarn blog because it's a Google comment page. You've heard it before...I can't do it. Why? I don't know.

1) Dorothea Dishcloth pattern. I need it. I love your display and every color you used. Beautiful. I don't even know if I can read a pattern! But I'll learn just to make discloths! I also adore how you packaged them with beautiful scented soap. Baby, do you sell those?

2) Charlotte's Webb" Shawl. It's beautiful and so is Hedgie, but I'm smitten with your combination of a climbing rose and an English geranium. BRILLIANT!!! I couldn't have done better!

3) Ripple. That's the pattern I used for the unfinished blanket I gave to Good Will with all the yarn.

4) Honey, can you make me a Montery Pop Hat? I'll pay!!! Hedgie looks so beautiful in it!!! I recently gave a similar hat to Good Will and it nearly broke my heart because I walked T-Bone in it for years...since he was a baby. When I saw Hedgie's hat I smiled. That's my hat!!! However. I'm an artist, so you know this is coming!!! I'm very specific about color. You have two options:

1) Soft baby blue (more in the warm tone, not the cool) for the hat and a soft pale pink (like my old pink baseball cap) for the rose.

2) Soft baby pale pink (again like my old pink baseball cap) for the hat and a deeper pink or blue for the rose. But the rose also has to be a warm tone. The hat Hedgie's wearing is all cool tones. I wouldn't look good in that, I definately need warm tones. Just think "baby!"

Okay, so I need two hats!!! But give me the price first! And then what do you need? How do I measure my head? And where do I measure my head? Please make this hat for me because I love it.

Oh, and this is important too. The afgan the hat is photographed on is my afgan, just in sea foam blue and pale green. I can't believe I didn't send everything to you. What a shame.

Love you darling. And yes, I think I'm now addicted to your damn knitting blog. Oh good God. I thought I was over knitting and crocheting, but it keeps yankin' me back! Thanks dear friend, for contributing to the deliquency of a yarn whore.


Suzanne said...


I try so hard. You have no idea! Come tuck me in and make a spot of tea too please. Oh, and can I have a scone or a shortbread cookie? Then read me a bedtime story after we discuss the wedding.

I'm sleepy already, but it's only 4:09 pm. That's not going to work for me.

XO Blottie #1

Suzanne said...


I hear ya sista!!! Like you I can't sleep during the day even if I haven't slept a wink all night. That's just the way it is, isn't it darling? I can't begin to explain this little portion of my life because it feels so out of context.

Baby, I talked to Cece this afternoon. She told me about your resume (very impressive as I already know of course!) and hooking you up with all her connections. I hope you find a great job. Baby, I do. I think Cece can pull this off. I really do. And if all works out, it's amazing what blogging buddies can do for one another. When we were talking I thanked her a million times. But you know Cece, just blows it off as if it she'd done nothing. But it's something. And I know you understand right along with me. With your Masters and prior experience everyone is very impressed. I think this is it baby. I really do. And Cece is making it happen. I think we should have a party over at the Wild Onion to honor our Goddess no matter what happens!!!

You know what's so funny sweetie, don't tell Cece, but even she was impressed with your resume!!! HELLO!!! I already knew all that stuff, but she didn't. We had a great laugh. No Bindi, we weren't laughing at you, we were laughing with you. All the way to the freakin' bank! You're more educated than any of us!!! Even Leah, cuz she doesn't have a PhD yet. Ha! You win!!! Hey baby, when you get rich, can you open a commune and can we all vacation there? Thanks!


Suzanne said...


Baby, I do visit your blog. I just can't leave comments. But thanks for the heads up. Of course I'll email and gain access to your now private blog. Why'd you have to go private? Was someone really nasty? Thanks for the invite sweetie. I love you dearly and it matters a great deal. I'll visit more often, okay?

Sleeping. Darling, I'm really struggling with this. I've never delt with it, so I'm in agony. I don't know what to do. And thanks for the beautiful comments about my photos. The one thing I find about being up at night is the light is always very soft. As you can see, in the warm yellow tones. It's very gentle. I would never have known without menopause. Maybe that's why I'm about to turn 50 and dealing with learn more about color theory. What!?


Suzanne said...


Hi darling. Maybe that't the secret, start reading a book! You've already navigated menopause. How'd you do it? And how many years did it take? I struggle every day to get through this and I haven't found the answer. It is seriously hard.

I love that cold tomato soup recipe on your blog and found it on Krystyna's blog in English. I'm making it this week. I'll let you know what I think! Frankly, I already know it's good!!! Yum!

Love you dear and thanks for stopping by. Talk to you soon. Have a beautiful week.


Leah said...

I have two Masters degrees...boooohhoooo...

Just kidding (I mean I have two masters degrees, but I'm not really feeling too competitive). God, I wonder if I'll ever finish that frakking dissertation. Don't hold your breath. I'm not one bit surprised about our dear Bindi though.

Anyway, I read every word of your comment but I have a hideous headache and must to bed. Will be back tomorrow. I'm already looking in my enormous yarn stash for something for your hat! Unless your head is super enormous (which I know it isn't) I can just go by my own head measurements! lol


Cinnamon said...

If I had a bedside table like that I wouldn't be able to sleep for admiring it!

Seriously, it's the coffee!

Suzanne said...


Come here darling and let me take care of you and that pretty little head. Yes, now that I look at it, it appears to be about the same size and I don't even have two Masters! Whatzupwiddat? Leah, why do so many New Yorkers find it impossible to pronounce "th?" For instance, they'll say "dat," rather than "that." I always tell my mom, "Mom it's just too damn letters!" But she just can't figure it out!!! And neither can a lot of people from New Jersey!!! Sorry, I'm laughing too hard.

I love you, I love you, I love you. I can hardly wait for my precious hat, but you must give me a price and I'm not kidding. Oh, and by the way, I also look good in a lime green with a pink flower!!! What? I'm giving you lots of options. I do love that hat so. I'm actually excited!!! You know, I knew I'd regret giving all the yard and afgan stuff to Good Will. I just knew it. You've rekindled a fire in me, but I have no idea how to knit or crochet any long so will have to read the damn books again. This is bordering on pathetic. Yes, I know you know that because you almost have a PhD. Ha!

Feel better soon darling.

P.S. Oh, and Bindi. Yup, she's a little smarty pants. I knew it even without the damn Masters. You know me and my relationship with God...I'm praying like a maniac she get's a good job through Cece's connections. Being and almost Rabbi and all, do you think God listens to a part-timer?

Love you. XO Get well.

Suzanne said...

Well...if I'd given the whole "yard" away, where would I have a place to sit and oggle my "YARN?!"

Suzanne said...

"No sleep for you." Yes, that is a take on one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes, "No soup for you."

I'm trying baby. Look. It's only a wee bit after 2am. There's hope yet.

XO Blottie ;)

otin said...

I am glad that my playlist made you smile, I have a very diverse musical taste. I too, am a morning person, I can get up a 4 am without a problem, I hate sleeping past 7!

Suzanne said...

Otin! Me too!!! Well, before menopause got her claws on me. We're so similar. Isn't that interesting? It's almost like you're the guy version of me in certain ways.

I love your play list. I had an absolute blast listening to tunes I haven't heard in quite some time. Thank you. I'll be back to hear more! Oh, and by the way, my 50th birthday is Saturday and my blogging friends are always so kind to me. Last year the celebration started 3 months early and was absolutely hilarious. This year we've started early again, just not in the same way. If you want to join the celebration, go to Just Bob's blog and click on my birthday blog. All our dear friends are there and more will arrive when they get their lazy ass off the sofa. Please stop by and have a wee bit of fun. We do serve food and beverages and start way before 7am!

Have a great day darling.


the walking man said...

I am trying to get back on my own damn schedule of up at 2am and starting the day. But lately I have been going out and showing teenagers what poetry is...GRRRR they have twisted me all afoul of the night.

Abi said...

Suzanne, don't ever rescue a donkey - it wouldn't have any back legs after an hour with you :D

^^ My feeble attempt at humour! I have just read an essay on yarn! It was quite enjoyable though :D

Ah the comment pagey thing, don't worry about it, I'm not in it for the comments, I just didn't want to lock any of the people I like out. You know what I mean. It's a bit of a snub to find a closed door.

Yeah some people I used to know where being repeatedly horrible with anonymous comments, and with the silly Feedjit I could see when they were reading it as they live somewhere quite particular....and then, even worse, my parents found it :o holy moly. Time to hide away.

You are so optimistic, seeing a gift in the insomnia...only someone so creative and artistic would see that. The soft light, the golden touches on everything. A tiny silver lining eh!

I love peeking at your home, I feel like one of those nosy people who walk their dogs down the street peering in the windows and inwardly going 'ooooh nice table!' or 'Oh dear, Mr and Mrs Smith are arguing again, tut tut'...

What? I don't do that. Not meee.

This wordishness is infectious!!!

PS! I spelled my flipping email adress wrong, of course, lady_midnight it is...which sounds terribly kinky, but isn't, it's just because I have midnight blue hair and shut up Abi *tapes mouth*

Mr. Shife said...

I hope you get your sleeping patterns fixed. I have turned into a night owl again but it was against my will. Baby Shife kinda made me do it. Is there anything you can do to help you get some sleep? Anyway hope all is well otherwise and hopefully things are returning to normalcy. I can send the fat basset over. He is a great cuddler and will have you sleeping in 5 minutes or less. We don't call him the shut-eye master for nothing.

Mike129 said...

I used to have trouble sleeping, but trazodone fixed that. My brain would simply never shut off!

Menopause is going to kill me, too, but that is another story altogether.

And why are you munching on cat food in the middle of the night?? ;)

Megan said...

I should come over here at night when I can't sleep.

bindhiya said...

Dear Suze,
am back from my crazy vacation.. but this week was different.. Cece's calls made this week more easy..
MPH is nothing in my place.. in Kerala most of them have a PhD..
I know Cece will do everything she can to help me out..
Thanks for the prayers..

Shara is in NC now..

Leah, Thank you for your kind words. Nothing impressive about me.. My parents did it for me.
double Masters! you sure can complete your dissertation in this year.

talk to you soon
love you dear.

Suzanne said...


You cracked me up. That's not my bedside table, that's the kitchen table. We (I) have an eat in kitchen and a dining room. When I can't sleep I find myself at the kitchen table because it's usually the only space without a sleeping kitty or dog and you know how I hate to disturb the kids, so I take a lamp from one of the bedrooms and set up camp in the kitchen! True. Then a kitty will usually come join me so that explains the towel on the left. And the kitty food? Well the bowl of food's always on the kitchen table. There's also a big plate on the kitchen floor and and plate in the dining room. This house is like a freakin' resort for kitties. And you know what? I realize that isn't coffee. It' Earl Grey tea. Yes, I drink it with milk. Very British you know!


Suzanne said...

The Walking Man,

Hello lovely. You're poems are killing me! I just returned from reading your most recent and have something special for you. So don't hesitate to take me up on my offer. And you know what? I'm grateful you're teaching kids even if your sleep pattern is all screwed up. Why keep it all to yourself?

Thanks for stopping by darling. It's always nice to see your braid!


Suzanne said...


Knock it off. You kill me with that sort of crap!!!

A locked door. Trust me. I know the feeling and am not amused. We have a locked door among friend and I was SO, SO, SO reluctant to join because I was offended that we would even consider it. But you know what? It's a beautiful space to vent among loving friends and not worry about a single damn thing. You are so welcome to join. Just let us know and you're in. And anyone else reading this, if you're interested, just let us know. We are definately NOT exclusive! However, there is the 50 page questionnaire to muddle through. It keeps the rift raft away.

Your comment is so kind my head is all swelled. I can hardly fit through the door to get in the kitchen to read my magazine. Knock it off! You know it's funny how artists and creative types look at life. It's just different. Rob's a lawyer and very analytical. He finds a path and takes it. Me, I zig-zag, and no, not once in awhile, all the time. I'm like a damn ping pong ball. And you know what I realize sweetie? That's okay because sometimes to see life for what it really is, you have to be all over the place.

And about troubles with former friends and family. I'm sorry to hear that. Isn't it odd how some former friends behave like children. I've been lucky because friends and family are very generous. I don't mind if my parents read my blog. In fact I encourage it! They know me so well and are aware my blog is simply and extention of me. However, my mom would like me to swear less. But I don't swear lesss in real life!

Love to you darling and thanks for always stopping by. I'll email my info in the next few days. Promise! And thanks.


the walking man said...

Random Chick said...

Hi Suzanne!!!

Can you believe it's almost been a year since the crazy blog birthday blow-out?! I wish I had the same energy and time I did last year to do it all over again. But, I will definitely make it special.

You make five-oh look GORGEOUS!!!


otin said...

I had trouble sleeping last night, in all seriousness. I hate that shit when it happens, I have panic attacks sometimes, being that I am a hypochondriac and always think that I am dying! Oh the way my brain works really sucks sometimes!!!

jenji said...

Narcolepsy is a kick in the pants too.

I should know.


Leah said...

I've been up at 4:30 a.m. every morning, and the other night I came here and thought I'd left a comment, but I see I hadn't, that just goes to show how disoriented I was! Feh.

Hope you're getting some sleep--


e said...

Hi Suzanne,

You are definitely not alone with the sleep issues and menopause...My insomnia is horrible! I have no schedule anymore and can't tell up from down half the time. I also just turned 50, same birthday as the prez, and I know yours is looming. I wish you a wonderful birthday on Aug. 8 and many more. I've not been blogging much, but wanted to come by. Take care.

Megan said...


Just saw your latest comment at The Onion.

I think we need to get Otin over there, what do you think?

Attila The Mom said...

Love the pics!

I find myself waking up at 3-4 am every morning, no matter how late I try to stay up.

While it's nice to be able to get some work done while there's no one around to make demands, I'm sucking for air by the afternoon. Grrr.

Joyful Jo said...

Hi Suze,
I too had insomia for about two years until I turned 50 years old. I now sleep very well but i don't know if its my job that makes me go out like a light or that stage of menopause has passed. I also would get itchy during the night on my legs or arms. anyway hope you are well?

best wishes

Suzanne said...

The Walking Man,

It's yours. As soon as I read all of Calamus. Who knew it was that good!!! Now all who know me are aware it takes forever to get a package in the mail. No smart ass, it's not that I'm lazy, I'm just busy. Oh, an I need the your address. Oh, and that means I have to email. Everyone knows I suck at email. But I'm really going to try this time to prove all of "them" wrong. Ha!!!


Suzanne said...


That Birthday Blowout (BB) was the best. Once was enough baby!!! Don't worry your pretty little head about this year because I'm perfectly happy sliding into 50 unnoticed. Wow, you wanna know something interesting. I just woke up, got some crap done then of course stopped by to say "Hey" to all of you. It's 12:01. It's my official birthday. Thanks for sharing it with me. Baby, I'm 50. And you know what's funny, I was born just after midnight. Poor Mom: up all day, up all night then I tumbled out. That poor woman!!! You've given birth, so you know. Man that had to hurt.

;) *Happy Birthday to me...*

Suzanne said...


Get over here and let me give you a hug while I try to figure out why they let you operate heavy equipment.

XO ;)

Suzanne said...


Don't put ideas in my head. Please!


P.S. Thanks for coming by. I'll stop by this weekend to see what you're up to.

Suzanne said...


Yes, I am getting some sleep. Know why? Cuz I'm workin' my damn ass off every day until I literally collapse. This new plan was working brillantly for me, until now. What's up with my Birthday Night?


Suzanne said...


Happy Birthday darling and when you sleep dream of me sleeping too!!! This crap is insane. My doctor informed me to just disregard time and go with the flow. I've been trying, but have one important observation, I'm tired! Honestly, I'm so freakin' tired!!!

I'll stop by this weekend to tell you you don't have to blog much, just comment on my blog!

Love you darling, and thanks,

Suzanne said...


Otin should surely be at the Onion. What a hoot. I've met some terribly interesting guys lately and I'm not even looking. I'll invite him, but just be warned, stand behind the saloon doors because I'm sure he'll kick ass when he enters. Actually, perhaps you shouldn't stand behind them cuz that could hurt. Stand across the room.

Love you!

Suzanne said...


I know. Isn't it insane. I just exhaled. No really, I did. As if that would make a difference!!! What are we gonna do? I don't know. I really struggle with this one because it's new territory. But I'll tell you something interesting. I have new and profound respect for people struggling with insomnia. I mean really, who knew it was like this?!


Suzanne said...


Stop. This minute. You itch too!!!??? What is that? It often feels as if something is creeping all over me. You know I'm a nail biter, but I've decided to grow them just to the scratch. Of course I'm serious! Jo, honestly, this stuff is just nutty. Someone should write a book about it!

Love you and love to the family,

Suzanne said...

FUNNY STORY!!! It's my birthday. I'm up late/early. Who knows the technical term and at this point, who the hell cares. I just ran up to the corner liquor store before it closed to buy a bottle of wine. I rarely go, probably every two months or so, but the owner (an Indian guy (yes actually from India) and I just connected the first time I walked in about a year ago). We laugh so hard. I walk in the door and he starts laughing because we both know what's about to happen an it always does. We talk and laugh so hard just about life. I absolutely adore the man. We talk about the amazing Indian wedding he attended, kids (I don't have any, but understand), menopause, blogging, you name it, we talk about it and we laugh. We laugh so very hard and it matters because I would never have found him if not for one insane night with menopause.

I walked in tonight and smiled. He saw me and started to laugh. That was it. It's just the most beautiful connection and the shop lights up like Christmas when we're in the room!!! I got my bottle of chardonnay, stood in line and waited. There was a line in back of me, but when I got to the counter nothing mattered. We talked about what I was up to, what he was up to. I told him it was my birthday, I had insomnia again and I was blogging. He said "you want water?" I said "What?" Water? "Okay!" He came back with a free flask of Vodka! I said "OH MY GOD NO!! I don't drink heavy liquor because I'm a wimp!" He replied "But mixed with a bit of orange juice?" Me, "No, I would never drink something like that. Look at me honey, you know me, I'm a wimp." Of course we laughed and I'm sure every guy in line behind me thought "That bitch is a fool!"

I left laughing and walked to the car. The guy behind me in line got through the line quickly apparently and was at black beauty before I could blink. His car was parked next to mine. It was a "hot" car. Have flames and everything. He said "Happy 50th!" I thanked him of course. Then he asked me out. He was all of about 30. Maybe 31. I nearly died. I haven't been asked out in 30 years. Karen...shut up!

somebody said...