Sunday, August 2, 2009

Fruit, A Rose, A Cop, A Skunk, A Dog And An Award. Literally.

Okay, this OF COURSE is not the post I'd planned, I'll get to that eventually. A few things happened today that are so funny I must share them. No, veggies and fruit aren't funny, but I wanted to share (brag about) my haul from the 99 Cent Store! Look at that. Isn't it beautiful. Cost around $8 and most is organic. The apricots were free because my neighbor's tree limbs hang in my yard. Just so you know the watermelon, 2 for 99cents. At the regular markets the exact same watermelon is selling for $3.99-$5.99 each, even at Trader Joe's. Bindi get your cute self over here because I'm going to plant one right on your cheek Missy for telling me about the 99 cent store. THANK YOU!
Looking out the kitchen window.

And now the fun begins!!! I love Sunday mornings because they're lazy, quiet and peaceful when I'm out and about in the morning. I'm tired today and don't have an aggressive bone in my body, so the trip home from the park was very relaxing. I did between 60 and 65 because even my foot was tired. I got off the freeway and slowly made it down Madison as usual and headed home. I got past about the 3rd big intersection and noticed the 6 lane boulevard (3 lanes on either side of course) was virtually absent of cars. Heaven. I was in the middle lane and then saw it, a cop car up ahead. There were only three cars at that moment heading east on Madison: me, the cop car and the car in front of me. (I'm laughing so hard, I can't stop laughing at this one.). The cop car was in the inside lane. The speed limit is 45 mph and I was doing almost that and they weren't, probably around 40, so I pulled up next to the cop and we all drove quietly down Madison. I didn't even look at the cop because I was too tired to move my head. And then it happened! A car went flying by all of us in the outside lane. I swear to God I felt like John Mcenroe when I started to laugh and said outloud "You can't be serious!" I just couldn't believe it and knew what was going to happen. And almost as if a lightbulb went off, the guy slowed down when he realized he'd just blown by a cop. I just kept thinking "How can you be that stupid?" There are only three cars on the freakin' road and you didn't notice one 's a cop!!??? By that time I was laughing so hard I thought I'd pee my pants. The guy slowed down so much we all caught up to him! Still laughing MAO I finally looked at my cop and he looked at me. He smiled and shook his head. I slowed down so that he could pull in front of me and in back of the offender! Still laughing. The lights were turned on, then the siren. I left them at Madison and Mazanita. I laughed all the way to Save Mart. I laughed in Save Mart. I laughed all the way home and I'm still laughing. I'm so sorry you all couldn't be there!!! Some things are just too funny.

You know how you get talking, don't pay attention, but just keep walking and expect to make it through the doorway or the sliding glass door? I was at the park this morning dealing with one of my most impertinent little skunks and he wouldn't let me through to set the water bowls down. He just keep sliding backward informing me I "WASN'T ALLOWED." The more he slid the closer he got to the tree. I finally said "KNOCK IT OFF AND GET OUT OF HERE" and he turned to run away. Unfortunately the tree truck was there and it knocked him for a loop. I said "Oh my God honey, are you okay?" He just sat there dazed and confused for a few moments. Sorta the way I felt when I walked into the tree limb at the park and had that stupid concussion! Remember that one?!
And then there's Fenway. Those of you who follow my blog know Fenway is the pip squeak to the left (T-Bone's on the right and yes, they're both exhausted from playing too hard). Those of you who don't, Fenway was a rescue from a homeless couple at the park and my darling MIL was kind enough to adopt him (thank you Mom!). Rob called the other morning laughing and said "I have a good one for you." Apparently Rob leaves his bedroom door cracked a bit because Fenway waits for him to wake up then bolts down the hallway, burst through the door, jumps on the bed and welcomes Rob to a new day. So the other morning Rob wakes up and can hear Fenway come running down the hall as usual. Then THUD. Unfortunately the door was closed.
What? I couldn't make this crap up!!!

And this is an Award from my darling Bindi. Thank you. I should have it up by 2011!
Love you all and hope you're having a beautiful Sunday (Monday to our Aussie and European friends),
XO Suze


otin said...

The cop story was funny! I like when there is a cop on the interstate, doing exactly the speed limit, and everyone hangs behind him, he could play around and go 20 miles per hour slower, and still, no one would pass him. I would be a funny cop, I would be like a cat with a mouse! HAHA!

Suzanne said...


Thanks baby. I can't stay long, too much to do around this joint. But yes, the cop story is a hoot. I wish I was a documentary film maker!!! It was just one of those really brilliant moments in life and I happened to be there to witness it unfold. THANK YOU GOD!!! I'll never forget it because I'm still laughing writing this.

I'll tell you something else really funny. I was leaving the park yesterday (you know I feed feral kitties every day) and was getting on the freeway (we call them freeways out here, not thruways) and noticed a cop in the 6th lane as I entered at Truxel. Hummmmmmmmm? And all the cars were behind him and the freeway ahead free and clear for me! Just me!!! I just kept going but watched in the mirror and saw him drive across all lanes, back and forth and then silence...the highway was completely shut down. No car moved, except MINE!!! I just haul ass out of there as fast as I could because I realized what he was doing. I was the only suvivor. I swear to God, I thought about being 15 seconds too late. Karma. Mine usually sucks, but yesterday morning the good stuff was just velcroed to me and I slid through like a wet trout!

Oh, and Mr. O, I'm glad you aren't a cop because I know you'd just screw with people and most would probably never make it to their destination on time. You call that funny, but I call that COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR FOR A LAW INFORMCEMENT OFFICIAL!!!

Happy Sunday my dear. Hope it's treating you well.


Megan said...

Is the post you planned "The Story of the Lamp?" Because I'm still waiting...


Suzanne said...


What, this isn't good enough? God you guys are demanding. No, it's isn't "The Story Of The Lamp." That's a good one though. That's my eBay story!!! I'll get to that after I post my next three. I know, I have them all lined up in my brain like planes taxing at JFK. Unfortunately I don't have time to down load the photos and write the damn things. I'll try harder, okay Princess?

Oh, and isn't he beautiful. I love that little man!


just bob said...

Hi Blottie.

bindhiya said...

Dear Suze,
Have a beautiful Monday..
you know am so busy.. but just taking a minute to say hi..
those fruits.. mmm i miss that store.. in my little town we have a small farmers market. that's all..
loved the cop story... am not ready for freeway.. only in back roads.. i don't want to make people mad. :)
fenway and T bone looks happy..
Congrats on your award dear..
love & ((hugs))

Anonymous said...

Hope yopu had a happy Sunday (Monday). Good job you weren't speeding hey Suze?

merelyme said...

I am laughing! You make your events, whatever happens to you, hilarious. I tell mine and am bored! Oh well.

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