Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Another Day in Paradise...

Happy Wednesday!

It's beautiful here. The rain stopped, the sky's blue, it's in the 70's, there's a nice breeze and I'm hopeful life is going to be just fine.
~

I won't be around much over the next few months because I've taken on two huge projects and I've decided to finally train for that marathon I've been talking about (my 50th birthday present to myself). I promise to drop by when I can.
~

I love you all, and thanks for the beauty you bring to my life.
XO

27 comments:

Joyful Jo said...

Good luck with the marathon. I couldn't think of any thing worse than that as my body,back and feet are killing me today.
We are getting an early taste of winter with frosty mornings and SOME RAIN YAY.

Karen ^..^ said...

And thank YOU for the beauty you bring to our lives, Suzanne.

<3

just bob said...

Hi Blottie!

Training for a marathon? That sounds fairly painful to me. You do realize you can hop in the car and drive that 26 miles right? It's a lot easier and faster. Think about it.

I'll keep stopping by to be a pain. You are not getting rid of me that easy!

Merely Me said...

That is the coolest birthday present ever! Can you run one for me too?! HA! But I do have running in Central Park on my list to do before I die - along with visiting Chelsea Market!
Happy Birthday Blottie! Don't worry...we know when yours is...you won't get pestered like Bob!

Megan said...

What "two huge projects?" Tell, tell!!!

Suzanne said...

Dear Jo, Karen, Bob and Merelyme,

You're all so fun. Why am I here? Because I just had to research a bunch of "stuff," and I'm too tired to move my butt off this chair, so said "Let's just check Blogger!" And here you all are. How can I go away without saying something.

Jo, you're so funny. I can't think of anything worse on my body either and I'm not even sure my doctor will approve this, but we'll see. I can always walk the 26.2 miles or walk/run. I just want to set a goal for myself and achieve it. And I want it to be hard. A real challege, so that when I accomplish it, it changes me. From the inside. After all I've been through this past year, I want to feel whole again.

When I was in college I had a group of friends who were cyclist and raced professionally. One asked me to ride to Merrit College with him (Merrit College is in the hills of Oakland and we were in the hills of Berkeley). I knew it was a ways away, but I'd been there on the freeway and it didn't seem like it would be too hard. It also didn't seem to register when he said "it's one of our training routes." I said "Yup, I'll go!"

Oh. My. God. We stopped by to say goodbye to Rob at Bolt Law School on the campus of UC Berkeley and headed off. I was tired by the time we drove through campus, arrived at "The Clairmont" (very famous and GORGEOUS resort), and had to go up our first very long hill. We arrived at the freeway entrance and I was going to get right on the freeway I was so tired! He said "No, we're going this way, we're going up there." Another hill that lead to the hills of Oakland, high above the freeway. I remember stopping a few yards off the freeway and saying, "Larry, I can't do this. I'm exhausted. How much further do we have to go?" He started to laugh and said "This is just the beginning, you can do this. You play tennis sometimes 5 hours a day. You can do this." I was hot, exhausted and near tears and said "I didn't eat enough to even get this far." I was exhausted. I'm quoting him because I remember this day as if it were yesterday. He said "Suzanne, trust me, you can do this," but in my heart I knew I couldn't because I realized how far we were from Merrit College at that point, and how difficult the journey. We were only 1/10 of the way there. I remember feeling complete panic, but not wanting to disappoint him, so I went up the next hill. I was dying. I'm not even kidding. And that's how it went. Up one hill, then down a bit, then up higher, than down a bit, then up higher and all the while I was just dying as we got further and further up into the hills. The downhill was insane because professional cyclist fly downhill to make up for time spent going uphill. The first time he asked me to follow him I tried, then got so scared yelled "NO!" He continued on then circled around, came back up the hill and rode down with me!!! Then up the next hill we went. And that's how it went...for hours! When I said I couldn't make it he's always slow down, ride beside me and offer encouragement. He'd tell me what gear to shift into and when, and on we went, hill and downhill after hill and downhill. What is it to Merrit College? About 40 miles through the hills? The last hill to Merrit is SO, SO huge and I was SO, SO exhausted and I remember saying "Larry, I can't do it." And I got off my bike for the first time and sat down in the road and I started to cry. He circled around and hovered on his (cyclist can stay on their bikes like they're walking on water or something)and told me to get on my bike because I could do it. I told him I couldn't because when I saw the hill I just knew I was way too exhausted. Without getting off his bike he said "Honey, trust me. Get on your bike. I'll help you." I got on my bike and started to peddle and my legs felt like lead weights and Larry put his arm around my waist and stayed beside me the whole way basicially pushing me up the hill while cycling up himself. I'll never forget that. Never. It was the longest, hardest hill and he was my dear, dear friend and he never left me. He literally pushed me up the hill.

We arrived at Merrit College and he wanted to return to Berkeley the same way. I told him that was impossible. So we took the easy route back (sort of) mostly downhill. When I arrived home I had accomplished something remarkable. It remains the hardest thing I've ever done. Ever. When I'm low, I remember that day. I did something I never imagined I could. That's why I want to run a marathon, to feel that sort of accomplishment again. Especially at this point in my life. I know I can do it.

I love you Jo XO
~
Karen...No YOU'RE beautiful!!! Love you. XO
~
Bob...I think about going to the park which is 24 miles round trip. That's one hell of a long drive. Now think of 26. Now think of 26.2 (that's a full marathon)! Bob, I think I can do it. My note to Jo explains why I WANT to do it.

You stop by all you like because I would enjoy life so much more with you!!! I love you darling and you know that. XO
~
Merelyme...it is cool isn't it. And yes, I will run one for you because I think once you accomplish one, the second is all the more doable. Do you know what I mean? I think it will profoundly change my life. We're capable of so much more than we think. If you read my comment to Jo and also watch the Biggest Loser this past Tuesday, it's amazing how much strength you have if you dig deep. I was probably not more than 102 lbs. when I made that bike trip. The Biggest Losers were still overweight (150-300lbs)despite losing hundreds of lbs., yet all four completed the marathon. I've been talking about running a marathon for years, now it's time to do it and if you've read my blog, I'm not a runner!!! I just had to tag along to keep my sister who ran track and field company (I think because I made her laugh..."Hey Laur, look at the deer." "Hey, Laur, come back and look at these wild roses." "Hey Laur, I think my face is frozen...call an ambulance." You know, that sort of thing because we trained year round. Well she trained year round! I just went along for the ride draggin' and kickin' because I was a loyal idiot)!!! I'm about to turn 50 and don't like running any more than I did when I was 17, but know I can do it if a 63 year old with a really, really bad knees can do it on the Biggest Loser. And I'm pretty fit. Just need some discipline, doctor's approval and will. I'm between 115 and 120 and by the time I'm through I should be back to a whopping 102 lbs. again with one mean muscle to fat ratio! Watch out 51 cuz I think you're in trouble!!!

I saw my dear friend at the park two days ago and he recently lost two dear friends. He told me to live my dreams because "you never know when life will end." And my mother called with horrible news the other night. Our darling family friend lost his 30 year old daughter to a brain aneurysm. We were in tears. Life is short. Even if I have to run this marathon in 5-7K's, I'm running this damn thing. For all the friends we've loved and lost, and to a sister who humored me, and to Larry, who never gave up on me. My only regret will be that my family, who resides in NY, will not be here to start me off and welcome me at the end. It might be a very long, lonely journey, but I plan to make it.

Thank you one and all for taking time out of your busy day to stop by and make me feel so lovely. As I'm running I will think of each and every one of you! And I'll smile!

XO

Suzanne said...

Megan,

You're so funny. One is a really, really, really important 2 hour phone consult with an LA/NY art consultant, but to get to the phone conversation I have to have all my slides shipped, all the emails sent, all the questions answers, my bio, my cover letter, etc. It's a great deal of work, but important because the phone conversation is very intense and she doesn't want to waste time asking questions. She has to have all the information in order to do her research before the conversation. I'm really looking forward to this chat, but preparing for it is a whole hell of a lot of work. If all goes well, and I can afford it, I may have her manage my career as well.

Second. I've never shown in a gallery setting. I've always sold my art through word of mouth. I'm considering taking the leap, but not to a private gallery, to a community gallery where I'm a member and have some control. But I need the consult first before I decide, BUT I have to decide quickly and don't know if I can get the consult before the Call For Entries is due (mid June) at Roseville Arts (rosevillearts.org). Roseville Arts is SO, SO highly respected and such a beautiful place to view art and sculpture. It's also a beautiful and very successful concept. I think I'd like to get involved, but the paintings I'd submit to be judged would have to be sold and I don't think I can sell them. They're worth so much unsold because of high quality prints, lithos, etc. I don't think I should sell anything I currently have and that's why I need the consult before submitting. But if I'm going to submit I have to get right on it because the deadline is approaching quickly for a showing that won't take place until January 2010!!! AND I have to get the info to my art consultant before the deadline and I just don't know if I can do all that and remain sane. AND if my consultant doesn't want me to show in a gallery setting, I've wasted all that time. And you know how hectic my life is!!! I'd be a wee bit pissed. At me because I've never wanted to show in a gallery. I've always wanted my own shop/gallery, complete control of my work, and want to make money with prints, cards, lithos, etc. that people can afford. Most people can't afford my canvases, and that has always bothered me. So this art consult is very important, because I know I'll get the answer I'm so desperately seeking.

In addition, I have about 10 other important projects, but don't want to bore you. My life is very hectic at the moment (when isn't it). You may be asking yourself, "Suze, then why are you here?" Well I'll tell you Ms. Megan. Because I'm trying desperately to quiet this house down so I can work. Apparently the only thing that works is sitting my ass down at the freakin' computer. I may be blogging more than I thought!!! But I don't have time to blog!!!

Love you darling and thanks for stopping by.
XO

just bob said...

Are you still working on the wedding too?

Suzanne said...

Bob,

You betcha! That still on?! I knew the two of you met and hit it off.

Bob, your current post is absolutely hilarious. Great job!!!
XO

Suzanne said...

Oh, an Bob, thanks for stopping by. It matters.

XO

Mike129 said...

Marathon? I am impressed! I can run like 4 miles, maybe 5. After that it is ALS for me! WHich one are you running? I have an ex-GF that just did the Boston Marathon.

26 miles? No thanks; I'll drive. ;)

bindhiya said...

Dear Suze,
Hope you had a great day!
It is so hard for me to find time for anything now ):
but am here to cheer you up..
love you dear
((hugs))
bindi

Suzanne said...

Mike126,

Well, look who's here? My flower child!!!

I don't know which one yet. I'm still thinking about that. Probably the one in October. I don't know it's name. I'm beginning to think I'd rather drive too. Hummmmmmmmmmm.

XO

Suzanne said...

Bindi,

You cheering me up. That's just too sweet. I love you. You know that don't you!!!? Thanks baby.

Have a great Saturday.

XO Suze

Mike129 said...

You can come do the Pike's Peak Marathon in August! I have walked up and down the Peak, but I could never run it.

Merely Me said...

You have it in you. You can do anything - look at what you have done!
Roseville Arts? And you paint roses? Sounds like a connection meant to happen!

Joyful Jo said...

Hey Suze,
I'm going to be training too. I've just bought the wii Fit so instead of running a marathon I'll just do it my living room. Ha Ha!

Joyful Jo said...

I just said to Mark you were planning to do a marathon.Mark said more power to you. He is just getting tired thinking about it.

Megan said...

Wow. I hope it works out with the consultant. Those are certainly huge projects - good for you!

P.S. STOP DELETING POSTS.

xoxoxoxo

Happy Saturday!

Suzanne said...

Mike,

Forget it! I've driven up and down Pikes Peak and I would neither walk nor run it. You nutty?!!! I'd die. I can't believe you walked it. Wow, that's a long haul. Good for you. You still sore?!

What I remember most about Pikes Peak is leaving Denver in 90 degree weather and arriving at the top of the mountain in shorts and a tee shirt and freezing my butt off. It was so cold and it was snowing. Oh, and did you notice there are no trees at the top? Who knew? Who knew there's something called the "tree line," and once you pass it there aren't any trees. Hummmmm!

XO

Suzanne said...

Merelyme,

Hi honey. Thanks. We'll see what happens. Lots of work ahead, but I'm looking forward to it. This is actually a very exciting time in my life. Tons of change and you know what? Change is good.

Love you. XO

Suzanne said...

Jo,

I have no idea what a wii Fit is. I'll have to Google it! I imagine it's an exercise machine. Am I in the ball park?! Good for you. Will it be easy on your feet. Oh, and your back. Oh, and everything else that hurts!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!!

Jo, isn't it terrible how our bodies just want to go belly up as we get older?! Why? That just ticks me off and that's why I want to run/walk a marathon. To prove to myself I'm still worthy! I didn't get all this way for nothing. And then I hope by challenging myself I'm stronger and better able to face the next phase of my life. I often find that physical challenges screw my head on straight.

Oh, and about the Old Man (Mark), tell him to get his sorry, grumpy butt off the couch and do something. He looks like a marathoner to me!!! Also tell him I love him.

Hugs to all of you. And Jo, thanks for continuing to stop by and helping me through a very rough patch in my life. I love you dear. XO

Suzanne said...

Megan,

Deleting? Who you talkin' bout. You read that one?! Why didn't you leave a freakin' comment. I do tend to yank stuff, don't I? I'll try to get better. It was a good post and like an idiot I actually deleted it rather than put it back in the vault. Oh well. Hunter will never see what you and I saw!!!

I'm really looking forward to the consult. Lots and lots of hard work, but I'm so looking forward to a professional art expert telling me exactly what she thinks. I want to clean out the cobwebs and move in the right direction. I have a feeling it won't be Roseville. My painting are worth too much to sell. I'm working desperately to get all the info to her because I'm beyond eager. I'll keep you informed. And thanks for your interest darling. Love you. XO

just bob said...

I saw it too Blottie ;)

Suzanne said...

Bob, that's not even funny. I deleted because of no response. Next time just leave a bit of yourself.

Love you.

Blottie
XO

Mike129 said...

Yeah, Pikes Peak is quite a climb. I have been up and down it a few times.

Your experience driving to the top is not uncommon. There are paramedics with oxygen up there all the time to tend to tourists that drive to the top in their summer clothes and then pass out in the thin air while trying to run towards the warm building with the donuts. (I assume this did not happen to you.)

When you hike above tree-line, it becomes obvious why there are no trees up there. There is no air up there!

Suzanne said...

Mike,

How funny. I just found this!!! How adorable.

Living in Denver where air in thin prepared me for Pikes Peak. Damn, I don't think there's any oxygen up there! And yes, I now do know why there aren't any trees. Who or what would want to live there? Oh, and honey, it was snowing. We were in shorts in a freakin' snow storm. One good thing. It was lovely. The view, amazing. I'll never forget it. I'm happy we made the effort.

Thanks for your comment.
XO