Sunday, April 19, 2009

Well as most of you know, I have an Ikea sofa. A few days ago the Ikea sofa was moved to the living room from the family room. The much loved and respected Macy's sofa was moved from the living room to my studio and the charity sofa was moved from the dining room to the family room (yes, it 's been parked in the dining room all these months!). All this was done for a reason. I often fall asleep on the sofa. The Macy's sofa is a love seat and difficult to fit my 5'2" frame on with 50 f****** cats, so I made an executive decision. Replace it with the Ikea sofa. Brilliant. When I went to go to sleep I found 5 kitties on the Ikea sofa, hummmmmmmmmmmm, 2 on the charity sofa, 2 on the bed. I ended up in my office on the Macy's sofa.

MF.

26 comments:

kylie said...

you dont really have all white sofas, do you?

Suzanne said...

Yes. I do. I'm a HUGE fan of white. HUGE I tell you!!! At least with white I can see what the hell's going on. You know what I mean?

XO

just bob said...

It didn't quite work out, but at least it was a good plan.

Suzanne said...

It was a BRILLIANT plan. Unfortunately I've been sleeping in my office for 3 days. Rob thinks that's pretty funny. I on the other hand am not amused.

Happy Sunday.

XO Blottie ;)

Leah said...

That is so funny. I'm reminded of the musical beds scene in Shirley Jackson's memoir, "Life among the Savages."

Travis Erwin said...

What kind of music do you play while doing the sofa shuffle?

Suzanne said...

Leah,

If I didn't live it I wouldn't believe it. Not a day goes by I don't crack up at something that happens around this joint. It's just a funny, wacky place and I don't know why.

Rob has the most beautiful laugh on the planet. We haven't been getting along too well, so not much laughter between us. I called him the morning after the sofa switch and told him what happened. He knows me, this house, the kitties and my life, so I called him for sympathy. He laughed his ass off!!! Not funny.

I haven't read "Life Among The Savages," but will. I Amazoned it. Looks excellent! I need something like that to keep me going! And yes, I slept on the Macy's sofa again last night. I haven't slept on the Ikea sofa or in bed once since the shuffle. I'm still on the freakin' Macy's sofa! I swear, if this continues I'm going to move it right back out to the living room and pretend I have a sectional.

XO

Suzanne said...

Hey you. How nice to see your smiling face. Oh, and your wee pet too.

Oh, you know I haven't been getting around much. Sorry about that. But I've made a New Year's resolution to be better. Oh, right, it's April. Okay, so I've made an April Resolution to get around more. I'll see you "over there!"

I could pretend I'm really, really hip, but I'm not. I listen only to classical and piano music in the house. Why? First because I love both. Second because I have to somehow control the "Savages," and classical seems to create calm in this damn place. I love Vivaldi, Handel, Mozart and, well just about everyone else! I also love Led Zepplin and Pink Floyd, but listen in the car or with a headset because I think that sorta stuff would just amp this place up a notch or two! I can't take another notch or two. Trust me.

It's so nice to see you here darling. Thanks for stopping by. I'll do the same.

XO

Leah said...

Hi again--actually, I now am not sure whether that bit is from "Savages" or "Raising Demons," both of which are wonderful. She is one of my favorite ever authors--if you haven't read "We Have Always Lived in the Castle," you probably should, although that is extemely dark...her memoirs are funnier, with an edge.

Suzanne said...

Leah,

You know I just kept thinking "How do I know her?" "Why do I know her?" That name is so familiar, "How do I know her?" I went to Amazon to read about "We Have Always Lived In The Castle." The book sounds awesome (I'm going to read it), and while reading the review I thought Shirley Jackson, Shirley Jackson, Shirley Jackson, why is that name so familiar? And it hit me. Shirley Jackson. "The Lottery." Perhaps one of the most kick ass short stories I've ever read. It was an assigned reading in a literature class in college. It blew me away. I remember writing a paper about it that got me and A+, plus extra credit, which got me more than and A+!!! Too funny. I don't remember why, but I do remember feeling awfully good at the time! Have you ever read The Lottery? If you haven't you really must. It'll just kick your ass. She's an awesome writer and how I could forget amazes me. I'm now going to read every thing she's ever written. You know it's funny because it feel almost like yesterday that I read The Lottery. And that was nearly 25 years ago. Good writing stays with you.

I have two short stories you might love. My favorite of all time is The Yellow Wallpaper written by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. I read it for the first time probably around 1982 and it literally just blew me away. To this day I think it remains the best short story I've ever read. I've taken so many literature classes throughout my decades of college (!!) and I can't tell you how many times The Yellow Wallpaper was assigned reading. I've written SO many damn papers on it I almost feel like a freakin' scholar! If you haven't read it, please take the time. I got my "The Yellow Wallpaper and Other Writings by Charlotte Perkins Gilman" down from the bookshelf and inside it reads English 80, UCLA Winter, 1994. I was still writing about that damn short story in 94!!!! That's just too funny.

The other is "Roman Fever" by Edith Wharton. You know about me and Edith!!! I love that woman. I got the book down and smiled. I was so specific. It reads April 1985, UC Berkeley, Berkeley, CA. I can actually say that by then I'd read everything she's ever written and couldn't get enough. This was my last grasp! Roman Fever was assigned reading in a literature class. I loved it and still do. I also love that I remember fondly that it was April!

Thanks for stopping by again. It matters. I'm not a good writer, but it's amazing how good writing brings people together. And thanks too for reminding me of Shirley Jackson. How could I forget?!

Love you darling.
XO

Leah said...

Suzy, I love "The Yellow Wallpaper," love "The Lottery," and amazingly enough, I just this past summer read and loved "Roman Fever" for the first time when my sister gave me an Edith Wharton reader.

I think my favorite short story of all time, though, is James Joyce's "The Dead."

Short story writing is an art, a very specific talent, I think. I adore the medium. And plus, it's great for a short attention span, which I must admit I occasionally give in to...

If I were you, I would read "We Have Always Lived..." first. It's so great, it'll suck you right in and won't let you go till the end. Especially if you loved "The Lottery."

If you do get a chance to read it, let me know what you think!

Suzanne said...

You know it' so funny. I was thinking the same thing when I wrote to you. Short story writing is an art. I can't even imagine condensing that much thought into so few words. Short stories always sort of blow me away. I'm almost always in complete awe. Seriously. You know me. I am a woman of many words, so to be someone of few amazes me. I absolutely adore short stories. And I love that we share the same passion. How funny. And how lovely we appreciate the same authors. I remember the day I read Roman Fever. Nearly knocked the crap out of me. I still think it's absolutely brilliant. And the Yellow Wall Paper. Please. I have to tell you it's the most amazing work of art I've ever read. I have disected it over the decades and it never ceases to amaze me. Never. I'll tell you something. I actually thought about getting a Phd and focusing on The Yellow Wall Paper. That's how much I love it.

You know what's so sweet sweetie, that long ago and far away, I didn't think I was worthy. You seemed way too smart for me when I discovered you on Brian's blog. And you are way smarter, but we mesh somehow. We love so many of the same things, we think alike and I'm so grateful for you in my life. I really, really am darling. I am. I love you very much and I know you know that. Thank you for gracing my life.

XO

Cece said...

I have a brown sofa and burgandy chairs. That way, they don't show the dirt that I'm sure covers them as badly.

Suzanne said...

Now see Cece, I'd rather have white so I can see all the crap!You have brown and burgundy and what do you see? Nothing!! I see everything!!!*Rolls eyes in head.*

just bob said...

Plaid hides dirt good.

Karen ^..^ said...

If I had all white sofas they'd be all grey and yellowish before I knew it!! No way, man...

I have a favorite couch I like to fall asleep on too. With billions of kitties piled on top of me.

Life is good, you know?

Suzanne said...

You guys are so silly. This is the special trick. Slip covers. Everything is this house must be washable. EVERYTHING!!! Every piece of furniture is slipcovered. I bought the Ikea sofa because it's slipcovered. The zippers on Ikea stuff suck, but at least I can wash the damn stuff! Now see, I would never buy any item to hide pet hair because I have allergies. The house needs to be as clean as a whistle! Those of you who wonder why I do so much laundry? That's why. Do you realize how many animals live in this house? Tons! But you'd never know. It's clean and pristine!

Also, I have a "thing" about white. I love it!! It's like a blank canvas. Anything can play off it. Anything. Now take plaid? What can play off it? Basically a white pillow!!! Bob, see why we could never marry? I could never live with a plaid sofa. Never!

Why am I up at almost 3 am? Because my cat just killed a lamp. I've been waiting. Trust me, I've been waiting. As I was cleaning up the light bulb I saw her, all perfect and prim sitting quietly on the chair. I said out loud, "You. Little. Bitch!" She's trouble, from head to toe. She's worse than Ohno. Trust me, she's worse. Yup, "Baby." What's even worse is she has Ohno wrapped around her little paw because she takes him on at every turn. She's pure tom boy and as bad as she is, I love her to bits. Please pray we survive her! No really, I'm serious.

XO Blottie!

Suzanne said...

I know you'll all appreciate this. Phatty Foo Foo has a bad habit. She likes to hang from slip covers. Especially the one on the kitchen chair. I'm forever saying "Phatty, can you knock it off please? Do you know how much that thing costs Mommy?" She pretends she doesn't hear a word I say.

Leah said...

Okay, plaid, brown, and burgundy. Truly, those hide the dirt like nobody's business. At our house, we have a sage-green couch and chair. I must admit that it doesn't really hide dirt, but it is a nice, restful, and neutral color. We finally had to slipcover the couch. Those giant slipcovers are damned expensive!

See how effortlessly I can move from a discussion of literature to a discussion of upholstery?

Suzanne said...

Leah, that's so funny. I often wonder why people want to hide dirt. I need to see it so I can launder! Because I'll tell you one thing for certain, I DO NOT have enough laundry to do.

Slipcovers are terribly expensive. Did you have it custom made or buy it at Target? I've only had custom covers made, and they're so expensive. I could buy a new sofa for what I pay for a custom cover! Hell, I could buy 5 new sofas for what I've paid for slipcovers over the years!!! But I don't. I've had the Macy's piece of crap around for, wow, 23 years!!! That's hilarious! I just counted. It does have to go, but when a slipcover is on, it's such a beautiful love seat and it's so comfy. I'd be ashamed to take it to the dump or put it out for curbside pickup. I don't want anyone to know we live with that...thing.

See how easily I transition from literature to upholstery too?! You crack me up. It was so wonderful to discuss literature yesterday. I really enjoyed our converstation. I was at the park this morning and realized it's time to let go. I've had Edith Wharton's Roman Fever and Other Stories since 1985, The Yellow Wallpaper and Other Writings by Charlote Perkins Gilman since 1994 and an earlier version since 1982! I have a copy of Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians (originally, And Then There Were None) from 1966 (when a Pocket Books publication cost 50 cents!). I actually read Ten Little Indians for the first time in a high school English class around 1975. It's terrific. But I realize it's time to let go of all this "stuff." I have too many books and can't reread all of them. This place is like a freakin' public library!!! So why not share? As a collector of books, what are your thoughts about giving them away? It's hard, but it doesn't make sense to hold on because I'm getting older and can't dust forever!!!

One more thing. The first critique I ever wrote on The Yellow Wallpaper I got my ass kicked. I was devastated because I loved the story and absolutely fell in love with Gilman. I read everything about her I could get my hands on (way before Google!) and I thought I wrote a really fine critique. Nope! I went to my professor, who adored me, but she said "Suzanne never confuse and author with the protagonist." I'll always remember that lesson because my prof said, "I asked you to critique The Yellow Wallpaper, not Charlotte Perkins Gilman." I argued that they were one in the same. She said "No, this is a work of fiction, not an autobiography." Nearly broke my heart. But she was right. Charlotte's life so paralled the protagonist's I wasn't able to seperate them, but I soon discovered I had to in order to get an A!!!

As an author/writer, is there an element of you in your characters? Or are so so refined you can remove yourself completely? I ask because I know Charlotte is the protagonist in the Yellow Wall Paper. I've read everything about her and I know her pain and struggles. Yet she wrote it as a work of fiction. Why? As an author, why would one make that choice?

I often wonder how our smart, strong great grandmothers survived the 1800's, 1700's, early 1900's etc. I can't imagine being that opressed. I'd go nuts. I honestly think I'd go insane. I'd be the protagonist in The Yellow Wall Paper!

Leah, I love you dearly and enjoy talking about books with you. What fun.

;)

Leah said...

Our slipcover was custom, yoicks!

I guess I did know a bit about Gilman and her life. Shirley Jackson definitely wrote herself in her protagonists. She was very troubled and suffered from terrible anxiety. But she also had such a great sense of humor.

But it's an interesting question about authors and their protagonists. I can honestly say that the female protagonist in my book that I'm working on is nothing at all like me, except that she plays the violin, lol. But I don't think an author can remove themselves completely.

I think that the autobiographical element is important to "The Yellow Wallpaper" though, don't you? I don't entirely agree with the critique, especially when there is such a transparency between author and character...

Have you read "The Dead"?

Also, do you ever read science fiction? I really like a lot of sci fi short stories too.

Megan said...

I don't have a sofa at the moment.

Are you really only 5'2"???? You bitty thing, you!

Suzanne said...

Thank you darling. Why couldn't you have been my prof? You can not read her bio and not seperate it from the Yellow Wall Paper. It's impossible. It isn't an autobiography, but in some way it is. She was writing about her life. I have never been able to seperate the two. Never. I have probably written 5 or 6 papers on this short story and have never come to a different conclusion, although I pretend to!!!Yup, for an A!!! I had never experiened depression at the time I first read her story, but eventually learned to. She was too smart to ever lie about that pain. She is the protagonist. I believe that with all my heart. But my prof was also right. Never assume. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Suzanne said...

No, I'm not 5'2", I'm actually 5' 1/2 ". I round off.

XO!!!! Bitty!

Suzanne said...

I meant 5' 1 1/2" Please.

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