Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Swear to God...true Christmas stories!

I was driving back from the park on Hwy 80 just before Christmas and dippy in the patrol car was holding everyone at 65 in the fast lane. He wasn't from this county. He was from Nevada County. So Red Car thought he had no jurisdiction. "Helloooooooooooo Stupid!" I had to take photos because it was just too funny to watch. Red Car thought he could pass "Mr. Big." Red Car had no idea that if you're an officer in CA, it doesn't matter what freakin' county you reside. You still have jurisdiction. Idiot! He tried to pass Mr. Big. No go. Mr. Big pulled up along side and swerved into Red Car's lane to slow him down. Really. I'm not kidding. He swerved in front of Red Car!
I actually said outloud, "Don't do that crap in front of my car" and pulled into the 3rd lane to avoid anything landing on "Black Beauty." Obviously, Mr. Big was the winner. Red Car is well behind me. Yes. I'm still going 65 cuz ya just gotta keep up with a patrol officer. Even if he is from Nevada County. Damn, that man had some goooooooooonads.
One of the funniest moments at Christmas happened while I was at Target buying paper towels. I don't have a photo, so just try to imagine. Trust me, it isn't hard! I bought my paper towels and was exiting the store behind an older couple. I heard the husband say "Where the hell's the exit?" A clerk was nearby and said "It's right there Sir, see, it says EXIT." Oh, I just knew what was about to come!!! He said to his wife "Did you hear that? I'm almost 80 and she thinks I'm f***&#g illiterate." His wife said "George, knock it off, it's Christmas."
Still too funny. Oh my God, please. Stuff like that kills me.
I was at the park a few weeks ago and upon exiting saw this. That's one big damn pole!
I'm at the entrance gate and about to exit the park after feeding the ferals, drive up the hill, over the bridge and get on the freeway. I had to stop because my dad was a logger and owned a saw mill. I have profound respect for wood and logs. And I love my dad. He used to haul logs to Canada. Why? I have no idea. Why would Canada need NY logs? Really. Why? Think about that. Why? Canada doesn't have enough trees?
The guys were all laughing as I took photos, but I didn't care. When I was done I walked straight up to them and shook every hand. The guy in orange said "You'll have a story to tell." I replied "Oh you bet I will." I told them about my dad and they realized why I'd stopped. Yes, that must have been an amazing tree. I didn't tell them I could probably drive that rig right out of there!!! Why burst their bubble? Women are often underestimated!!!
Early morning. Leah, this is for you and your family. Yes, I do actually light a candle every single day. XO
With much love,


kylie said...

hi suze

just bob said...

It's like Christmas in April! Thanks for the info on the police. I'll be sure not to pass them even if they are not in their own counties.

Leah said...

Thank you for the little flame Suzy!

Gig said...

Hi Suze!!
Love the pics and stories of Christmas...I could still send snow!!LOL!!

It is sunny today, still chilly, but in the 40's...so I won't complain. Just waiting for some
50-60 degree weather...*sigh*

Love ya,
giggie, xoxo

Suzanne said...

Hi Kylie! Nice to see you again.

I'm not supposed to be here. I'm supposed to be looking for a phone number for Rob...in an email. This isn't email, is it?! Ahhhhhh, he can wait a few minutes.

Hope you're having a great Thursday evening sweetie. *Our day is her night. Our night is her day. Our Wednesday is her Thursday.*


Suzanne said...

I know Bob! Isn't it fun. I was going to post a Christmas tree too, but couldn't find it in that massive mess I call my photo collection. Maybe next time.

It's true, one should never attempt to pull past a cop who's doing the speed limit. Why? Because a cop, is a cop, is a cop. Thems the damn rules! God that was a treasured morning!

Hope you're having a pleasant afternoon with your lovely crew. ;)


Suzanne said...

Leah my dear, you're more than welcome. It's my pleasure.

Hope you're surviving Texas. That week's almost up, isn't it?


Suzanne said...


Hi honey. Keep your damn snow to yourself, but Merry Christmas!!! And thanks. Glad you enjoyed the stories.

I want you to know I'm sitting here in a tank top and skirt. It's rained the past day or so, but the temps are still reasonable. And to think I once said to Rob "I want to live in Michigan." You can only imagine his reaction. He said "Michigan would kill you!" Yup. I now agree because I'm planting basil and tomatoes!

Had such fun talking to you the other day. Thanks for your generosity, kindness, wisdom and humor. I honestly treasure you. Oh, also called Shara and talked for the first time via phone. What a hoot. We talked so long my phone konked out!!! She's so easy-breezy and like you and most of our dear friends, very wise. We had so much fun.

If you have time visit her blog and page down a few posts to her in the gorgeous red dress. Stunning! She took part in the "Vigina Monologues" and had a blast and plans to do it every year. I told Cece about the Vigina Monologues and she knew nothing about the play, but thinks the name's a hoot. Arkansas. I told her to Google! Is Arkansas in one of those zip bags you put wool clothes in each year to protect from moths?

Love you darling and thanks for all your love. Hang in there because Mom will grow young again, hubby will have full range of motion and you'll find sanity. Oh, sorry, I believe that was a movie. Lived in "La-La Land" too long!

XO ;)

merelyme said...

*...thought it was a pole to a new fence for bob...* walks away mumbling

Suzanne said...

Merelyme ~ That's too funny! Yup, and he's going to built it himself, right? This I've gotta see. Let me go round up ye old lumberjack.


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