Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Swear to God...true Christmas stories!
I was driving back from the park on Hwy 80 just before Christmas and dippy in the patrol car was holding everyone at 65 in the fast lane. He wasn't from this county. He was from Nevada County. So Red Car thought he had no jurisdiction. "Helloooooooooooo Stupid!" I had to take photos because it was just too funny to watch. Red Car thought he could pass "Mr. Big." Red Car had no idea that if you're an officer in CA, it doesn't matter what freakin' county you reside. You still have jurisdiction. Idiot! He tried to pass Mr. Big. No go. Mr. Big pulled up along side and swerved into Red Car's lane to slow him down. Really. I'm not kidding. He swerved in front of Red Car!
I actually said outloud, "Don't do that crap in front of my car" and pulled into the 3rd lane to avoid anything landing on "Black Beauty." Obviously, Mr. Big was the winner. Red Car is well behind me. Yes. I'm still going 65 cuz ya just gotta keep up with a patrol officer. Even if he is from Nevada County. Damn, that man had some goooooooooonads.
One of the funniest moments at Christmas happened while I was at Target buying paper towels. I don't have a photo, so just try to imagine. Trust me, it isn't hard! I bought my paper towels and was exiting the store behind an older couple. I heard the husband say "Where the hell's the exit?" A clerk was nearby and said "It's right there Sir, see, it says EXIT." Oh, I just knew what was about to come!!! He said to his wife "Did you hear that? I'm almost 80 and she thinks I'm f***&#g illiterate." His wife said "George, knock it off, it's Christmas."
Still too funny. Oh my God, please. Stuff like that kills me.
I was at the park a few weeks ago and upon exiting saw this. That's one big damn pole!
I'm at the entrance gate and about to exit the park after feeding the ferals, drive up the hill, over the bridge and get on the freeway. I had to stop because my dad was a logger and owned a saw mill. I have profound respect for wood and logs. And I love my dad. He used to haul logs to Canada. Why? I have no idea. Why would Canada need NY logs? Really. Why? Think about that. Why? Canada doesn't have enough trees?
The guys were all laughing as I took photos, but I didn't care. When I was done I walked straight up to them and shook every hand. The guy in orange said "You'll have a story to tell." I replied "Oh you bet I will." I told them about my dad and they realized why I'd stopped. Yes, that must have been an amazing tree. I didn't tell them I could probably drive that rig right out of there!!! Why burst their bubble? Women are often underestimated!!!
Early morning. Leah, this is for you and your family. Yes, I do actually light a candle every single day. XO
With much love,