Tuesday, April 14, 2009

"Ohno" is trouble. You all know that. I've tried to explain "Mommy is single now and we don't have a whole hellofalotofmoney. I need some cooperation."
The boy pretends he's deaf.
"I buy the GOOD STUFF BUDDY!!! That's a dollar!"

9 comments:

Karen ^..^ said...

LOL!!!

I've had many a roll of toilet paper sacrificed to the god of cats. Ok, just to the cat of cats, then.

But being single, I couldn't ever be without the fuzzy little terrors, and I know you feel the same way.

They are a godsend.

Kookaburra said...

Too funny :)
"Ohno" looks like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

Leah said...

That carnage is absolutely hilarious. Every time I visit you, I wish anew that we could have a cat. Alas, severe allergies all 'round.

Megan said...

Ohno!

Random Chick said...

Now I know how he got his name. LOL! That is so funny!

Hey, Suzanne...it's me...RC! I haven't fallen off the planet yet. I've just been down in the doldrums. I want to thank you for all your wonderfully sweet and supportive comments on my blog. I don't deserve a friend like you. Somehow, I am blessed and I'm not worthy.

You are such a beautiful person. I wish I could be more like you.

Thank you again!
XOXOXO
RC

Suzanne said...

Karen,

Thanks darling, but no, YOU'RE a godsend! And Ohno, he's just trouble! He'll sit on the toilet and move his legs as fast as possible to take a whole roll down in just a minute or so. I was able to save much of this one, but secretly watched one day as he gave an entire roll to 3 kitties down below. Then they all proceeded to distribute the paper evenly across the entire house. I allowed it because it way too much fun to watch kitties think. However, I learned a valuable lesson. NO TOILET TISSUE ON THAT THING-A-MA-JIG...only in a basket. With a lid. Tucked in a vault (cabinet). Guests often have difficulty finding it. Honestly? It's fun to listen as guests problem solve. ;)

~

Kooka,

Too funny. I'll have to try that. It just might fix him! But honestly, I think he's just too smart for his 12 pound body and knows it. Butter can't fix that, can it?

Love to you, XO

~

My very famous and very, very good allergist in Beverly Hill told me I could never have pets. NEVER!!! Because my tests indicated I was highly allergic. I actually love that man with all my heart because he saved me from a life of hell, but man was he wrong!!! I'll post the story one day because it's absolutely hilarious. No, I never let him live it down and still love him to bits. We've come to the conclusion the first three kitties helped restore my immune system.

It's interesting because studies have shown that kids who are introduced to cats and dogs at a young age rarely develop allergies (I was and had the worse allergies in the history of mankind). The theory is that a child's immune system is still developing and so it sets up a defense against rejection. You can always do what I did and just wing it, find a kitty on your doorstep and go from there!!! Cuz look where I am now!!! You could be here in less than 20 years too, with shots (lots and lots of shots), Dr. Epstein (long flight), and faith! If you have the new baby you're thinking about, I suggest a kitty as a "Welcome Home" gift to yourself. I also suggest an older kitty initially because they're far more mature (aren't we all baby?!). A kitten AND a wee one? Good luck!

Love you darling and thanks for the laugh. Oh, and welcome home!

XO

Suzanne said...

Megan,

Don't Iknow!

XO

Suzanne said...

RC,

Okay, I'm going to address some of the finer points:

1) Honey, you wouldn't want to be like me!!! I'm now single, my retirement account is gone and my homes value is depreciating as we speak. Oh, forgot to mention I suffer with chronic pain. On the other hand, YOU still have a lovely husband, two beautiful kids, a stunning job you can't find, probably a pretty nice view from the front window of "Santa" (aka I.V.), a gorgeous red dress, a cruise you can brag about, a singing voice and hills to climb. On the downside, you don't have a job, you're suffering a wee bit of depression, you have chronic pain, you're run down, low, and struggling to pay bills. Okay, so let's just agree. We're even!!! Stick with that new diet and life change and you'll pull ahead in no time!

2) You do deserve a friend like me. Why? Because we're smart, funny and kind. Except you're smarter and funnier!!! I may just inch ahead on kind. *Headline News...Suzy in Sacramento is almost hauled off to the pokie after poking a guy on a bicycle at Discovery Park and demanding he "Get the hell out of my f*#!$*g face you moron."* God, I don't deserve a friend like you.

3) You aren't down in the "doldrums." It's PMS. I'm confident almost everything in life can be blamed on PMS. I bought PMS tea at Whole Foods. It didn't work. I think because it wasn't labeled Anti-PMS tea. It said right on the box, "PMS." I should have known better, but the packaging should have been more clear. Isn't that what a damn copywriter's for? It was terribly misleading. I got worse.

4) "Worthy." Here, let me kick your ass with my flip flop. "Get outta here." (Didn't hurt much, but should have lasting impact cuz it was pink with a rose glued to the top!) You don't realize how special you are baby. I'm serious. You don't. You have fans far and wide who adore you because you're so, so wonderful. Why can't you see how special you are honey. You have made us laugh and cry, but always, you have been honest and a true friend to many. I wouldn't trade my friendship with you for the world. And I mean that, so don't ever say you aren't worthy because you are. I honestly cherish you. And if we can ever get together like we hope, I know the sun will shine that day. Well, unless it's foggy!

I love you so much darling. I will ALWAYS support and love you and I'm confident we will always be friends. No matter where our blogs lead or how life unfolds, so you never have to worry about that. You are an amazing woman. One I respect and admire. I'm confident you will get through this period of your life and look back with fondness because you met some amazing people! No not really!!! But because you navigated choppy waters. Successfully.

I love you my dear. Now edit the hell out of this, but don't even tell me what you'd change!!! I don't want to develop a complex about that too!

Hang in there, okay. And trust me, I think this new plan of yours is brilliant. I'm thinking seriously about taking on the challenge (suggested it to Just Bob too). It should be easier for me than you, so that's how I'm rationalizing the pain!!! Oh, and easier for you than Bob. Yes, of course I'm laughing.

Hope all is well with the hubby, kids and kitty, no matter what. I love you so very much sweetie. Huge hug.

Moi XO


P.S. Ohno's a heller. That's an absolute fact.

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