Friday, October 31, 2008

Just trust me! There's a point!

This is my life. Why? Who the hell knows, but this is my life. Horrible day at the park. I was late, first of all, then I lost it. I sad down and sobbed. Blogging about Hillary is one thing, accepting she's gone is another. Today I accepted she's gone and I buried my head in my hands and just let it go. She's gone. I still can't believe it.

I was trying to get home and had to get off the freeway (80) and take the back route because 80 was so jammed I wouldn't have made it home till Sunday. I was back in Carmichael and going through a 4 way stop when a car load of teens pulled in front of me. I'm pretty mellow about that sort of crap, but then they started mocking me. They gave me the finger, laughed a whole hell of a lot, kept turning around to mock me more, but I pretended not to notice. Stupid teens on a Friday evening. Let it go. But then they did something really stupid. I'll put up with a whole hell of a lot of crap, but not stupid. They began throwing trash out the window. Confettii I believe. Okay, Aunt Suzie's done. I reached for my phone which is now illegal in CA and dialed 911. You bet your ass I did!!! I swear to God this is what I got: "If this is an emergency, say one." I had no other option so said "One." A lovely lady came on the line and asked about my emergency. I informed her it wasn't really an emergency, but I didn't have the number for the Carmichael Sheriff's Dept. She informed me I was good to go and to spill my guts. So I did. I gave the license plate #, a vivid description of the maroon Saturn and the 5 assholes inside. She asked me my exact location so the police could find it. I said "I don't know sweetie!" Yup, I called her sweetie. "I'm at Manzanita and something. I don't know the cross street. Okay, the light just changed, I'll get it for you in a second. Oh, they just went into the Safeway parking lot. You'll find them there, but I'm going home. Good luck." Littering is a huge fine here. Almost $500. They may get away with what they did, but they will never forget me. Never. A police officer is going to come tap, tap tappin' on your door. I like that.


just bob said...

Freakin' teenagers. Serves them right to have Arnold's stormtroopers pay them a visit.

Suzanne said...

You bet your ass! Freakin' teenagers. Trust me, I can put up with a whole hell of a lot of crap, but littering? Nope! Like I told the officer on the phone (aka "Sweetie!"), I can deal with abuse, but trash? Nope! We laughed really, really hard. She was a hole hell of a lot of fun and I'll never forget her. Why do I meet the greatest people? Who knows?! But I do!!!

CSI Seattle said...

There were 5 assholes in a Saturn? I thought that Saturn had rings and that there was only one Uranus...I was never very good at geography.

Well, hopefully an officer was able to track down the group of pinheads. Often times something simple like littering turns into something much bigger. We call carloads like that "warrant mobiles".


Leah said...
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Suzanne said...


Too funny. What a wonderful way to start the day. Thanks!!! I will never look at a Saturn or 5 teens the same way again. And if I'd had a phone number for a judge who would issue an instant warrant I would have hauled them all out of the car and kicked there asses myself. They're lucky they only had to deal with law inforcement!

Remember when we were teens and said "I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A TEENAGER." Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, screw it. Age has it's advantages.

Suzanne said...


Morning baby, and Amen!

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Good hope the litte eejits get their collective asses kicked.

Suzanne said...


Me too!!! Or a least a good talkin' to! Sometimes it's good to have the crap scared out of you at a young age. Sets you on the straight and narrow!!! Sadly, 4 were girls (the driver a guy). What's wrong with kids today? I'm laughing so hard because I hear my mother's voice saying "What in the hell's wrong with you kids?" Wow, took 3 decades, but Mom's finally making sense. Hummmmmmmmm. Smarty pants.

This is funny too. The dispatcher or officer I got had me in stitches. For some reason I always get the cream of the crop. Why? Who knows? She said "What are they throwing out the window?" I replied "I'm not really sure, but it looks like paper. Do I have to go back and pick all that crap up because if I do, I'm going to get hit, so I want you to know right now, Sacramento PD is paying for my coffin." She couldn't stop laughing and then I told her I want it pink! She was a gonner.

I've learned one really important thing about life: Have fun because it's very complicated and unfortunately, relatively short.

Love you dear,

Laurie Keller said...

I love your response to those jerks. I can not tolerate littering either and let anyone know who's doing it that I'm on to them. Otherwise, I'm a nice person and like your blog. xoxo.

Suzanne said...

Laurie!!! Hi honey!!! I have a little sister named Laurie!!! No, she doesn't visit my blog! None of my sisters do. Five freakin' sisters and no, pathetic. What am I going to do? Thank God you're here. Okay, you're my new sister Laurie!!!

You know what's so interesting? 4 out of the 5 were girls. I just sat back and watched them behave. I felt ashamed for them. There's something brillant about getting older. You exhale. You know what I mean? You let lots of stuff go. Honestly though, I wanted to get out of my car and shake them to bits. I wanted so much for them to make me proud, but they didn't. Why have girls become so stupid? I don't want them to be stupid. I want them to be smarter than me.

I watched 4 girls behave like mornons today. How far have we come? I talked to Mom tonight and we're hoping for an Obama victory. I see Obama's two daughters and have hope. We both do. I have to believe, that in my lifetime, woman will advance. I have to believe that. Otherwise I'll just be on the phone with 911 all the freakin' time.

Welcome and stop by any time. Yup, you're bound to get an ear full.


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