This of course was not the post I intended to write, but my dear friend Fannie sent me a bunch of whoppers this morning and this is one:
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
33 comments:
HA HA HA!!! That is SO something I would do.....so as not "to lose."
Have a beautiful day and watch out for turkeys!
FIRST!
Turn about is fair play.
hey suze,
this is a great story. so clever. so mean. so funny.
have a great weekend
xx
HA HA HA HA!!!!!!
I love that one.
And you posted this story at 5:10am. Hmmmm.... suspicious I'd say ;)
just bob
Very funny!
Thanks for your commemts on my post. I wanted to ask you about how to control aphids on my roses. I sprayed them but i think i was a bit too heavy handed with the spraying. The buds are opening but look a bit damaged and there is no perfume when they usually have a strong scent.
Love the kitty photo.
Aw shucks :(
Jo beat me here. Too funny :)
Aw, you just gotta love it :-) Great post, Suze.
Best wishes,
Skeeter
I was just at the Wild Onion and spent way too long on that damn thing and now I'm here and have no time because I have SO MUCH to do around this joint (house), but your comments are so fun I will try to respond to all. Please forgive the format. I'm going to group you all into one comment in an effort to get to the laundry, disher washer, the litter boxes, and fish tanks within the next 20 minutes. What? Impossible you say?! Watch me!
1) Queen Goob - Ha! Me too! It's the competative spirit in us! Have a beautiful day too sweetie.
9th!
2) Travis - Always. Travis, I'd like to know what you learn from this blog? I know you enjoy reading women's blog for research. What do you most enjoy about mine? And again, what have you learned about women through my words?
3) Kylie - Thanks baby. It was just too funny. You're smart and have a wicked sense of humor. I knew you'd appreciate it. Have a great weekend too. Hell, it's almost Sunday in Aussie Land. No?
4) How appropriate you fall just under Kylie. She's my Aussie friend who saw my comment to you. Hopefully the only one. Why I wrote it? Who knows!? But what fun for a few hours. And trust me, Kylie is a very generous friend and doesn't judge. You don't judge, do you Kylie!!!???? Oh, trust me, I'm sure she's lurking on your blog after what I told her!!! Yup, she'll reveal herself in the next year or so! Too funny. And thanks dear. Glad you enjoyed.
Just Bob - Suspicious? Why? Frannie is an early riser and gets emails out probably before 4am! She's also in KY, so that explains the time difference. I was up late/early and got hers! Yup, that's the truth. Our kitty, Maestro, was very ill and I didn't take him to the emergency room after a consult via phone because they wouldn't allow me in the examining room. WHAT!!!??? Instead was waiting for my Vet's to open. I couldn't sleep, was actually in panic mode, just waiting, waiting, waiting. I left a message at the Vet's office at 3:02 am and was waiting for a call. That's why the 5:10 am post.
Don't ever doubt me. I don't lie. Ever!! And no, I'm not upset. You're still my sweetie and I adore you. Even if you questioned me you MF!!!
Jo - I don't spray. EVER!!! I garden only organically. I would never insult my insects by spraying the crap out of them. For me, things just work out. Yes, I have aphids, do I worry? NO! Because I have far more beneficial insects by not spraying. And if aphids ever seem overwhelming, I simply hose them off. Then they climb back on. So I hose them off again. But basically, I don't worry a great deal. I attract birds that love aphids, lacewings that are so beautiful and lady bugs. You know my garden by now. It's really lovely and I swear to God, there's enough food to go around. Nothing has ever suffered so much I've had to pull it out. We all work in a beautiful symbiotic relationship because we respect the value of the other. That may sound rather hokey, but it's a philosophy that's worked for me and I actually live by. Perhaps you should consider a new philosophy. I recommend it!!! Give your roses losts of compost (feed the soil) and give them protection from the sun by underplanting them with perennials or give them lots of mulch. A rose bush was never meant to stand alone. Never. If you want more info, please don't hesitate to ask. I'm generous when it comes to rose!!! Additionally, in your Assuie sun and drought, you really do need to mulch to retain water. Even with something as simple as leaves in fall. Hope to hear from you soon.
Love you dear ~ XO
Mark - You old slow poke you!!! Okay, so Jo needs some mulch. Hop too it buddy!!! What? You know I love you so. Glad you found your way with a good joke. Oh, and if you have time, stop by the Wild Onion. Cece posted and it's way, way, way too funny!
Hang in there. We all love you and we're just a click away.
XO
Skeeter - Thanks honey. So what are we eating tonight. Know any good vegitarian joints? I notice I always enjoy your side dishes. Perhaps I should open a resturant call "Side Dishes!"
Oh God, so many typos. Even spelled vegetarian wrong. Dear Lord.
Hello Suzanne,
I hope all is going well with you. This is such a cute little story! I love it! I also love your cute kitty pic.
Have a great evening,
Lydia
Lydia, Lydia, Lydia,
Hi honey! I know I'm such a horrible friend. I know. Trust me. Thanks for staying in touch and ignoring my faults. This is my life in a nutshell. I was making cream of celery soup this afternoon, while trying to blog, do the laundry, water the garden, etc.. Somehow I missed the fact the pan was burning. Oh, and burn it did! I lost my celery and onions, big time, and the house still smells like...well...black. Gotta go honey. Still have to load the dishwasher (4 hours late) and try to rid the house of this horrible indoor air pollution. Thank God it's in the 80's outside and all the windows are open, but the house still stinks. Go figure?! So, as in Seinfeld, "No Soup" tonight.
XO Suze
P.S. I'll visit soon. Promise. Hope all is well in beautiful Rochester sweetie. And thanks for making my day.
Blottie...
My bad... a joke that wasn't that funny. I'll go sit in time out in the corner.
Bob,
No time out. Just come and sit by me honey. No bad! The bill was almost $700 for Maestro. Hard night, hard day, hard bank account. Sometimes life is just f****** hard. But Maestro is okay, just very ill. I'm still completely sleep deprived and we're still friends. I love you my dear man. Forever and always. No need to worry or apologize. Let's go watch that CC highlites video!!! God I love that thing! I also love that we share hockey. Good hockey.
Love you darling. Please visit Brian's Blog at CSI. You can get to it via Robyn or Leah or Cece. You'll appreciate his lastest posts. Trust me. As soon as I started reading I thought of you. It's not his current post that's important, but the previous. You'll understand.
XO Blottie :)
So glad I'm not married...
To whom?!!! Explain that! I'm not married either. I've just lived with him for almost 30 years, so in CA, that legal honey!
XO ;)
Also, "thats."
you funny woman, you !
do i judge? i try not to
and i hadnt even considered lurking at walkers place after what you wrote to him, i was just amused but now i kinda have to go check him out. and travis. a man who reads womens blogs for research? fascinating. does he post about what he learns?
thats two i have to visit so dont delete cos i have to hop off here now and i wanna find those guys later
have a fantastic weekend and no, it's not sunday yet, but soon
xx
Oh those evil silent treatments.That was funny.
I will have my hubby use it in a sermon.
Becky
For some nice side dishes this week, I've been cranking things with broccoli and things with grilled eggplant. Dunno why there was so much nice broccoli and eggplant at the store this week, but it sure was good dear.
Best side dish wishes,
Skeeter
Kylie,
You rascal you! I bet it's Sunday now baby!
Thanks for not judging and for having a good laugh. I really think you're the only one who saw it. God I hope so!!! And if you ever become friends with Walker, please don't share what I wrote. It'll be our little secret! ;)
Definately visit Walkers blog, but please don't read just the lastest post. You must start way, way, way, way, way back! Get a good hot cup of coffee or tea, relax and enjoy the ride. You'll be there for hours and if hubby asks why you're still at the computer just say "research." Oh, and arrive with a very open mind! Good luck honey!
Oh and Travis writes romance novels. I find that absolutely fascinating. Don't you? And you know romance novels are always from a woman's perspective, so of course he does a great deal of research. He wrote a post the other day that you will love. Visit his blog and take a look. It's the one about women!!! Enjoy. He's a terrific guy.
I love you darling. Thanks for your constant support and love. Hope all is well in Aussie Land and in your little corner of it. I was coming home from the park this morning and started to laugh because I thought about Thanksgiving and Christmas just around the corner, which made me think about 1Pic and the day he left all of us, which made me think about you and the day we met!!! I was in the fast lane only doing 65 because some moron up ahead was holding us all hostage, so had time to let my imagination run wild. And where does my mind wander...yup to Kylie!!! I swear to God, I couldn't stop laughing. And then I log on to my blog and who's here? Kylie!!! Beautiful.
Love you dear. Hope you're having a good day/evening/night. Ahhhhhh screw it, I give up. It's Sunday though, right?
XO ;)
Becky,
Welcome!!! Honey, are you sure you should be here?!!! I swear... A LOT! Well, I can say with all honesty my religious friends overlook A LOT of my faults. Perhaps you can too. Just cover your ears.
Hubby should use that in his sermon because it's hilarious! I reread it just to laugh. My hubby's dad is a retired Methodist Minister. What's yours?
Oh, just so you know, you probably shouldn't venture to the Wild Onion Cafe if your very conservative. It's rather risque at times and an absolute hoot. If you're bold and adventerous, stop by and have a good laugh, but I will have to alert the Town Board if you leave a comment!!!
See you soon,
XO
Skeeter,
Hi honey. I'm always curious. What did you do with the broccoli and how did you grill the eggplant? Did you use a marinade? If so, which one? On a scale of 1-10 what was your opinion of the final result? Also, before you grilled the eggplant did you prep it in any way to remove excess liquid or just plop it on the grill?
Yes, this is how woman in America actually figure out how to prepare a meal. Knowledge is power baby!
Thanks in advance. (God, I feel as if I just wrote a cover letter.)
XO ;)
SUZE, did you just call me? I couldn't hear the beginning of the message, so I thought it was a wrong number!!! But now I think it may have been you, but I told you that you had gotten a wrong number when you called back because I was confused!!! I can't get into my email to check your number...if it was you, you sound soooo sweet and I can't wait to talk to you! I hope it was! Okay, we'll talk soon either way...
xoxo
Suze,
I love this, I am still laughing!!!
Hope your day has been good. I am wandering around blogland, visiting, commenting, catching up with everyone...
Waiting for Saturday Night Live to come on...want to see Tina Fey.
I am going to stop by the the Onion and see what's happening, stop by and we'll have us a mineral water.
xoxo, gig
Leah,
Yes I called and left a message. Honey, I didn't call back. Just the one message, that's it. I don't know who was second, but it wasn't me!!! That's too funny.
"Sweet." I like that. I'm going to grab it and tuck it in my heart. I was just at the Wild Onion and asked Cece if she ever thinks I'm sweet when I answer the phone. I'm afraid of her answer!!!
You know what's so funny? I was thinking about you before I called and realized I forgot you were in NY. Thought you were just up the street of something! This blogging thing is so odd in that you all seem like neighbors, but you aren't.
I love you dear and thanks for the beautiful compliment. I'll call again. If you don't answer I'll leave another "sweet" message. Now I have to explain to Random Chick that I'll call her too. She asked me to call before you asked me to call. Good Lord, my world's gone wacky. Who the hell has RC's number? CECE!!!! I need RC's number.
Wow, when we have the family reunion we're going to have a blast!!!
XO
Gig,
So where the hell are you? I'm on the Macy's sofa. Yup, waiting. Where you at girl?
Tina Fey! Too funny. On God please. Change. Vote.
Love you darling.
XO
Afternoon Suze,
Fell asleep before I could get to the Onion, sorry.
I am enjoying my quiet for the moment...soon it will be back to normal,lol!!
Now I must go do all my chores, Yuk! I will be back later, hopefully.
love you,
Gig
Gig,
Sounds like you need an assistant!!! Of course I'm laughing. See you at the Wild Onion tonight you crazy lady you.
Love you,
XO
Such lovely picture, Suzanne! Just love it!
psss! Autumn is here; let's go searching, searching after
Joy and mirth and love and laughter. Let's go down the road together, you and I.
Hugs
cielo
Such lovely picture, Suzanne! Just love it!
psss! Autumn is here; let's go searching, searching after
Joy and mirth and love and laughter. Let's go down the road together, you and I.
Hugs
cielo
Cielo,
I love you so much darling. So, so much. Thank you.
XO
No one will ever see this but you and me.
Thank you Cielo.
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