What?

The "hills are alive my ass." Momma always told me there'd be days like these. Strange days indeed...

Black Beauty and I were traveling down Greenback Blvd (no, trust me, this ain't it!) thinkin' if I just run a few more errands I can ease off the ass pedal tomorrow (I'm exhausted). Yes. The famous words of a moron. But I got all the kitty food, found some wonderful food for humans at the discount store and headed to Safeway for "real" stuff. Whoop...missed the street. Okay, so in 90 degree weather in a car throwing heat from every orifice (if you read my blog you know Black Beauty has heating issues) and no air conditioning, I headed to the next familar block to drive up and around and head a few extra miles BACK to Safeway. Oh...lucky, lucky me. Got behind a guy doing about 25 in a 40mile/hour zone. I had less than a few blocks to go and actually though, "Why bother?" But I did. I got around him and pulled into the middle lane behind a Brinks truck and planned to pull back into the inner lane to turn left on San Juan, or something or other. However. Life had different plans.

Yes, this is real. Remember when I was "numb and tingling?" This is what was recorded. It was in the ozone layer today. Trust me.

Oh...this is just a precusor!

I had my crystals knocked around, and trust me, not by Ohno.

And we didn't enjoy this today. Man, my grout needs to be cleaned. Oh right, HGTV is forever telling me I need "GRANITE." Leave me alone. I'm so sick of hearing it. Realtors and HGTV are in cahoots to homongenize every freakin' household in America. And yes, I'm aware Ohno has flower issues.

Excuse me. I digress. "No don't!!!" I haven't made it to the DMV yet!!! (The gardener in me wants to run over there and tell the homeowner "A nice shrub will hide the meters and make your home more attractive.")

Not sense the BMW met it's Mustang match.

Oh that. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmm. Let me tell you a little story. I was behind a Brinks truck thinking "Oh God I wish I had all that money" when he speeded up and I speeded up with him. What a joy ride. Then I saw it. A yellow light. Hummmmmmmmmmmmm. I could have slammed on the brakes with the BMW and she would have responded. The Mercedes? No. Not in a million years. I'd end up in Arkansas. Trust me, there was no way to stop in Black Beauty, so I gunned it. I was a third of the way through the intersection when I saw a flash. I thought it was the sun reflecting off the Brinks truck. I felt lucky. Then I didn't. I had a cop car in back of me with, and I quote "top of the line LED lights...strobe. Could it get worse? Yup!

I pulled into a parking lot to get away from the riff-raff and to spare myself the embarassment. You know me. I'm very modest and half smart. Why suffer when you don't have to!!! The officer was too kind. He approached the car and the first words out of my mouth, "swear to God..."I know what I've done. I just knew the Mercedes couldn't stop in time."And you all know that's the honest truth. No way!!! She's so, so different from the BMW. And he laughed. And that was it. We hit it off. He asked if I'd seen the "flash." I said no. Thought it was a reflection, but now know it wasn't. He said "I can write you a ticket." I asked what the ticket cost. He said violating the intersection was $410. I nearly died and said, " Honey, you gotta be kidding me." He said "No." I said if you write the ticket, is it less?" "No." "What do I do?" I never saw it?" He said, you fight it. But I'm not going to. I'll just pay it. I didn't pay attention and I'm guilty. He got a call while "interviewing" me..."Yes...yes..." gave a code and then said "in pursuit of a Mercedes." At least the car got attention!!!

No, that's not me, but exactly how I looked, just in pink. Oh and in black!!

I spend thousands and thousand of dollars in that community every year. I won't spend a single dime again. Why? Because idots get away with so much, and me, I didn't get away with anything. I'll pay the $410 fine, but after that, I won't visit their community ever again. It's all they're going to get from me for the rest of my life. Did I make a mistake? Yes. Absolutely. Did I deserve a $410 fine? No. I'm a good driver, but I made a mistake. But not a $410 mistake. And so it goes.

Susan...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jmhkKza14U&feature=popular

Please enjoy. Have a beautiful Tuesday.

Sharing...

Life is short. If you don't share photos, what's the point of taking them? This was taken while I was at UCLA. My painting that now hangs in the foyer is behind me during a critique (yes the vase is actually that big). My hair was very "puffy!!!" This is from the early 90's and when mom saw it said "Honey, you have wrinkles." I replied "Mom, I'm looking into the sun." *Rolled eyes in head.* Mothers. Wow, I was only about 32 or 33 here. How time flies. I would love just those wrinkles and that hair color! Oh, and that tee shirt. I loved that tee shirt. Trust me, you know me an cotton. I remember every tee shirt!!! I could probably pluck a few eyebrow hairs by the way! (You know what's so funny, this photo was taken almost 10 years before the photo with Mickey on the right!) I'll tell you something funnier. I love this photo because I'm not smiling. You hardly ever, ever see me not smiling. A friend captured this at a perfect moment. I wasn't even aware it was taken. Looking up to my professor like he's God! No, he wasn't.

Yes, those who follow my blog know this photo well. Mom saw it and asked "Where's dad?"

Here's dad (Pop, aka "Arm pit"), my darling grandfather (late 1950's). Dude, that cigs gonna kill ya.

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I'm going to start sharing photos. I have hundreds and hundreds. If I don't show them, who the hell will see them? So get ready.

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Love to all,

Me XO

Update: No, I can't get the photo out of the frame. It's actually attached to the glass. Oh and also, just so you know, it's a very tiny photo and frame. About 2x3 inches. I stole it from mom when I left for college. She hasn't forgiven me.

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And Leah, you know what? I enlarged the photo and looked at Pop a long, long time. He was a beautiful man and in his 40's when this photo was taken. I asked him out loud, "What's your story?" I'll never know. Too often we don't ask. Everyone has a story that should be told because every life matters. I'll never know who my grandfather really was.

The Reason...

Scott died of diabetic shock. The lesson is simple. If you're a diabetic take care of yourself because no one else can. And if you don't, the pain you leave behind in mind numbing.

Worst Drivers In The Country...

Yes, the list is out and WE MADE IT!!! But THANK GOD we're behind NY and NJ and not #1!!! We're #4. New York is #1, New Jersey #2 . Bunch a losers.
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Do I look like a bad driver? No. I'm three car lengths behind that...Toyota? Yes, it's true I'm taking a photo while probably doing 80, but I'm still on the pavement, thank you very much.

Yes, California highways are littered with trash. Sadly. Yes, this is an ugly stretch of Hwy 80. Yes, traffic is rather sparse. Probably, cuz this ain't rush hour baby! A bit of geography. The mountains are the Sierras. The white snow capped ones are Tahoe.

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The local NBC anchor was discussing this very topic this morning and said "You know what I hate? The guy/gal doing 65 in the fast lane. MOVE OVER!!! Wow, sounds like me! We've been down that highway before, haven't we?!

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Be safe out there this holiday weekend kids.

XO

P.S. Yes Bob and Jo. I deleted. I couldn't look at it. Thank you so much for your love and support. We will always remember together. If I learn why it happened, I'll inform you. Love you both dearly. XO XO

What's up?

I posted at the Wild Onion. Go there to see what I'm thinking about. Yes, this is the new me. I'm down sizing.

XO

Fade to black...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug2UuwRLaZI
Please click. You won't regret it.Cece just called. She woke me out of a dead sleep. My first words: "Oh my God I'm so late for the park." This went on for a few minutes. Then I realized it was Friday evening and not Saturday morning when I saw the sun setting in the west and not rising in the east.

Yes, Mom said there'd be days like these. Trust me.

A Day In The Life..

My beautiful boy. He's put on 20 lbs since his dad left. Just stress and depression. We have to work on that.He loves his dad so much.

T-Bone. "Honey, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Leave the kitty toys alone."

It's going to be very hot here over the weekend, so I cooked lots of stuff yesterday. For those of you who want to become vegetarians here's what to do. Peppers and onions. The best in burritos. With a bit of beans, sour cream, avacado and tomatoes. Oh, and salsa. Rob likes red, I like green. God, almost forgot. Cheddar cheese!!! Not mild, sharp. And yes, cook lots of it ahead of time so you don't have to cry every day!!!

The other dish is zucchini, tomatoes, a whole head of parsley and scallions. I eat it with Meyer's lemon oil and herb goat cheese from Trader Joes. Seriously. But if you aren't a vegetarian, you can put any of this stuff on a burrito with chicken or beef and have a truly wonderful meal.

Yup, also made lasagna. First time ever...broccoli and zucchini lasagna. Wow. The broccoli is insane. Zucchini is good. I remember making spinach lasagna when I went home to NY and my younger brother saying "Sue, I'll give you 50 bucks to make more. That's how good it was. Yes, I'm a good cook.

Also made broccoli, sharp cheddar cheese and onion quiche. Yes, it's excellent!!! I actually made two.

XO

Blob And The Baseboard...

Maestro helping me paint the living/dining room

Yes I did change out the switch plate to white. You guys made the last post such a blast. Thanks. My Moms don't read comments, so I'm going to print them out and send them along.

Does anyone have a suggestion? The wee baseboard is butted right up against the wood floor. So to paint it is insane. Paint gets on the wood floor no matter what I do. Yes I would love to be able to replace the baseboard with something more substantial, but I can't afford to at this point in my life because it's in every room, so have to work with what the Lord gave me. Did I just say that?!!! That's too funny. See how awful it looks? It's still just primed and not even completely. I have miles and miles of it to complete in the next few months and I don't know how. I need help.

Yes, that's Maestro. Aka, "Blob." Aka, "Gandhi." Okay, let's face it, he's simply 21 lbs. of kitty.

Love to all and thanks for embracing my moms, sisters, etc.. You guys rock!!!

XO Suze

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY ONE AND ALL...

Yes. Leave me alone. I know you've all seen this photo something like 3 times!. Cut me some slack. It the easiest photo to find!!! Of course it's MOMMY!!! HI MOMMY!!! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! I love you so much and I know you know.
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That's Mom with her dad's arm pit when she was in her early 20's (1950's). After giving birth to me and my older sister. Hey Mom, your HOT!!! Of course I'm laughing Mommy. You know me.
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Mom, I'll tell you something funny. When I came home I pulled into the gas station to fill the rental and who was there? Of course, Ginny. She freaked and said "OH MY GOD YOU LOOK JUST LIKE MOMMY." And then she was really pissed because I 'd flown home without informing her. I said "Ginny, it was supposed to be a surprise." She was still pissed!!! She's pissed till this day!! As you know. I just want to shake the crap out of that woman, but I can't shake a baby. You know I love her Mom. Perhaps she'll come around in the next decade!
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Mommy, you know what else? As I was preparing to write this post I reflected on our family and our lives. We are so lucky. Nothing horrible has ever happened to any of us. We all love one another although we fight! Terribly disagree. Misunderstand one another. Well...you get the drift! But we're a very lucky family.
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Thanks Mom for having me. I know I tell you all the time, but I want you to remember, so I'll say it one more. Mom, thanks for having me!!!
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A few years ago I interviewed Mom. Yes, I do stuff like that. I want to write a book for my brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews. My questions were very specific. They were about the birth process of each and every child. Yup, all 9. Mom has an insane memory. Apparently I weighted 7lb-3oz. Labor took 8 hours and 10 minutes. She had to have stitches. But despite that she said "I was very happy." Is she nutty?
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I love you Mommy. I love, love, love you. XO

Now for my other Mommy. My MIL. Mom has been here for me through thick and thin. She's the best. She's smart, thoughtful, kind and she's mine. I love her to death. So many people have MIL's they can't stand, but mine is a gem. She has never abandoned me. Even through the divorce. She loves me and I love her. Mom is a retired math teacher and still has grade school student who love and contact her (she's in her 80's!). Yes, she's that good. I was blessed to find a second family and I am forever grateful.

Mom has a terrific sense of humor. We get on the phone and laugh within minutes. No matter how awful things might be, we find something to laugh about. It's the same with my mom. Life is hard, but you navigate it through laughter. At least in my family. I find true comfort in that.

Mom reads my blog which thrills me! And she loves it and always tells me so. I know she reads things that aren't always kind, but still, she encourages me. That's a lady. And a friend. I realize my mom and my MIL are my dear, dear friends. I'm a very lucky woman.

My "running" sister. I'm going to run a marathon because of her.

Early 90's. Me, Laur and the wee one...Alan. Laura appears taller. What the hell's she wearing? I'm two inches taller than she is!! Yes, all my sisters are blondes. I'm the only brunette. Now the only grey brunette!!! They're still all blonde. I pulled up behind a car the other day with a license plate that read "Blondes do what brunettes only hope to." Ahhhhhhhhh, f*** you. Wanted to run Black Beauty straight up her Honda ass. And yes, it's true, none of us wear makeup. Not even mom. And just so you know. Laur looks exactly like mom. I don't. But I have a better tan.

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Oh and did you notice? Alan's has one mean mullet. Giggie. Please take care of that! Well, honestly, you don't have to. He's now a mature 20 something year old and terribly gorgeous. Has very, very short hair.

Our Woodstock home. If only. This is a rental. I called the realtor a year ago and asked if the home owner would sell. She laughed and said "No." It's been in the family for DECADES. Not if I decide to squat. Home sweet home, Woodstock.

Me and Ginny delivering bikes to a niece and nephew. I'm sharing these photos because my mom gave us life and I'm forever grateful. Ginny's a bitch, but she's a great athlete and a great lady, but she's very narrow minded. Snap out of it honey. Baby, I'm not going to live forever!!! What will you say when I'm gone?

Beautiful offspring taken in the late 1990's. Sisters, Laur's and Jan's kids. Left to right...Mandy, architect, Des, landscaper, Alison, teacher, Val, phychologist. My beautiful, beautiful babies.

Mommy, look what you produced! All this. And Mommy, you know, that's the true measure of a life, what you leave behind. Look what Ma left us. Look at our beautiful lives. I can't imagine a luckier family. I just can't. Mommy, I love you. Happy Mother's Day.

XO

Another Day in Paradise...

Happy Wednesday!

It's beautiful here. The rain stopped, the sky's blue, it's in the 70's, there's a nice breeze and I'm hopeful life is going to be just fine.
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I won't be around much over the next few months because I've taken on two huge projects and I've decided to finally train for that marathon I've been talking about (my 50th birthday present to myself). I promise to drop by when I can.
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I love you all, and thanks for the beauty you bring to my life.
XO

I haven't felt well today. Living with me for almost 30 years I actually thought Rob would offer to help. He didn't. I've navigated this day completely alone. In doing so I realized the last 30 years of my life are over. It's a new journey. As ill as I am, I went into his office and cleared every damn thing out. EVERYTHING. Not just out of anger, out of need. I need to breath. I need to find me again. I know who I am and somewhere in all of this I lost me.

As I was exiting the office the only thing standing was a round mirror. I saw my image as I turned to survey the damage. I realized I was a different woman leaving, then the one who entered. Honestly, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He has devastated this family. Newman died of a broken heart and Ohno struggles every day. T-Bone suffers severe depression. I don't forgive him for what he's done to all of us. I don't . And honestly, I don't think I ever will. I'm so disappointed in me. I invested 30 years of my life in a guy who didn't deserve me. What's that say about me? About my judgement?

And no, my hair's not that short. It's just up in a bun while I clean like a freakin' maniac. You know me. I'll probably delete this. This day broke my heart. But something interesting happened. While moving all the cabinets and bookshelves to the living room to create an entertainment center, a little piece of paper fluttered to the floor. It was something I'd cut from a magazine years ago:

Learn How To Let Go

If you experience difficulty deciding whether to get rid of something, ask yourself a few simple questions: Do I love it? Do I use it? Does it add value to my life? If the answer to these questions is no, let go of the item.

I started to laugh. You all know me. That's just too damn funny!!!

XO

Beautiful Challenges...

It rained yesterday, is still raining today and is supposed to continue three more days. I went to the back yard to feed the squirrels and birds this morning and was met with this. All my standard roses (roses that are very formal, pruned hard and add height to a garden because they're grown on a tall stem) were literally on the ground. I nearly died! I had no time to do anything before leaving for the park, but knew I'd have to help them before the stems snapped. When I arrived home I rushed to find a solution. I've allowed the roses to so overgrow that nothing I use to stabalize them is holding. NOTHING!!! I had an idea. Fabric. So I cut a towel in strips and tried to rescue the Eureka first (yellowish/peach). It was raining so hard and the head of the rose, as I've told you before, is so heavy, and loaded with water, ten times heavier!!! I could barely raised it off the ground. I started laughing and the harder I laughed the worse it got! I was finally able to raise it far enough to quickly secured it but was unable to tie a knot because I didn't have enough towel! I needed more fabic for a good knot, so tried to pull the rose back a bit further. It was so heavy I was unable, so was just standing in the pouring rain trying to hold the rose and figure out what to do. Believe it or not I let go with my right hand, held the towel with my left hand and my TEETH while I used my right hand to pull the rose back in an effort to get more fabric. For some reason the towel wouldn't give me more!!! It was wet and wouldn't budge, so I tied the most difficult little knot I've ever tied. I knew it wouldn't last, so ran to the garage for gardening tape. I knew gardening tape wouldn't hold the behemoth, so I cut a really long piece and tripled it. I made a bit of progress, but will have to do it all again tomorrow. It'll never hold!

Then I went to this dear sweet soul. Look at that poor stem! The head is on the ground. I never staked it, so have nothing to tie it to!!! I tried to tie it to the porch post. No. Didn't work. I looked around and realized if I could get the lawn mower close enough I could put the head on the handle and at least take pressure off the stem. So that's what I did. Is it a perfect solution? Nope. But it'll have to work until I figure something else out!

Here's the Eureka standard with the gardening tape. Yup, that looks secure!

Roses were down all throughout the garden, so I rushed around in the rain cutting roses trying to relieve pressure. This is the kitchen window after a great deal of effort. Keep in mind there are thousands and thousands of blooms in the garden, but I'm confident I made a dent!!! An itty-bitty wee one!!!

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Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...the life of a divorcee. You try manipulating a hundred pound rose as a single woman!!!

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XO