Heartbroken...

R.I.P.

My baby brother died today.

I love you darling.

Welcome Home...

My blogging friends. Thanks. For waiting for me to wade through Face Book and find my way. It's been a journey. Why? I don't know. I guess maybe because I needed to feel something I hadn't in awhile. I did. High school friends helped me in so many ways, but now it's time to move on. To come home. To write like I write without much editing. To not worry about fitting something like 145 charaters in a freakin' little box. To just talk with ease. To relax among friends.

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You know it's funny. I only had one meltdown on fb in 6 months compared to my one every month here!!! That's funny. You would think the opposite. Nope. Only one and only just recently! Tired I think. Overwhelmed with the enormous weight of trying to get the yard back in shape in a short period, my responsibilities and my brother's accident (no, you don't know about that, but I'll tell you later).

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I've been so afraid to come back here. Afraid I'd forgotten how to write a complete sentence. Scared I wouldn't know what to say. How to tell the stories I love of everyday life. But I know now that you're all here, waiting, and so I feel completely at home. And so it's with so much ease that I write this post. You know my garden, my home, my animals and my life. When I write about being stressed about the garden, you understand. Honestly, I don't think I have to write a word. You just know. There is a comfort in that I can't even express.

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We've been through so much together and so I write this with much love and appreciation. Thanks for waiting for me to find my way.

Love you all,

Me XO

Back...

I know...isn't that blurry???!!! Hey, I don't have alot of options right now so just work with me! And yes, I know I've posted it before. Leave me alone. I'm doing the best I can! Had hoped to reload all the Dell software this weekend, now not so sure. Our TV went belly up yesterday. Called Comcast to fix it and was told it's "Not us." How dare they not be responsible. They control my internet, my phone, my tv. They can't fix a blown picture tube too? That's just damn irresponsible.

Whoops!!!

~UPDATE~

IT'S CECE'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!

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Hi baby. Happy Birthday. You know how deeply we love you. I can't access a photo. I just can't. You know what I would want for you, but I can't. We love you so. Thank you for your amazing friendship and love.

Happy New Year...

Still no photos. To those who have become my dearest friends, thank you. I know I haven't been the best friend lately. I know that. I'll be back and better in 2010. Thank you for your friendship and kindness through all the years. I love all of you so very much. Thank you. Happy New Year! XO

Sent by a friend...

My dear friend, Nettie sent this as a holiday greeting. She's a retired detective and a hoot! LOL!!!
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To all my Democrat friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than anyother country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability,religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
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To all my Republican friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Annette

Still no photo...but imagine Ireland!

T-Bone and I took our walk today. Walked nearly 1 1/2 miles after only 4 days without the cast. And then it happened...I think I found Ireland. I couldn't get close enough to see the tiny white spot above his upper lip, but I know it's him. I do. I've searched for him for almost 2 years and there he was...at a very beautiful home. Yes, of course I'm smiling. Smart kitty!!! My very, very smart kitty. Life's good. XO

This photo came with the computer!!! Nope...not mine!!! Haven't figured out how to get mine yet!
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Okay, this is a funny story. I was going to reserve it for the M&M, but why bother!!! When my computer caught that nasty virus the only thing I cared about was saving my photos. I hadn't backed up what I thought was around 300. Turned out to be over 1,000! The computer expert felt he could retrieve them and did. And then he did something extra special. When the tower was leaving the house I said to Rob, "Honey, there are some very private photos there...do you think he'll see them?" Rob just smiled and shook his head and said "Baby, if he does it's your own f****** fault, but no, he's going to run a program to retrieve everything, so he won't be looking at individual photos." Got the computer back yesterday and was searching for my photos last night. Guess what? They're all under a file he maked "My Photos" with 4 of my naked pics on the file cover. Bastard. I'm laughing, but want to cry!!! Men. Wow...he had to wade through alot of kitties and flowers to get to them! Yes...this is my life! What do you think he's doing with the copies he obviously made?!!! Oh. My. God. Rob hasn't even seen them!!! HA! No, nothing changes at Rose Cottage Studio!
XO

It's almost Christmas and I'm still showcasing Thanksgiving. I HATE FACEBOOK!!! Okay, not really, but boy did it give me a bad virus. That's why we don't have a photo today folks!! The computer expert was able to save a gazillion photos I failed to backup, but he put them in a file I have absolutely no idea how to access for Blogger and Facebook. Hey...but I'm here!!!
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Good news. T-Bone and I started walking again yesterday. We walked again today. Both days in the pouring rain. Wonderful! Today I also drove the car and went to the park without a cast since I broke my ankle August 14th. I'm turning the page. Yes, it hurts, but I'm determined to get this behind me. I really am because I've had enough.
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I'll figure out the photo thing shortly and God do I have some great stories for you. I'll do my best over the next few weeks to share them with you. And to all my dear friends, thanks for sticking with me despite my complete lack of respect for my blog!!!! I'll respond to your comments below. Thanks!
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Much love, Me XO
Love you all

A Day of Thanks...

At the Vet's

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE. LOVE YOU!!!
XO

Dusts Off The Dirt And Comes Back Home...

David Austin English Rose ~ Winchester Cathedral

Bury your face in it and inhale...

it smells like the sweetest honey!

It loves to bloom in Spring and Fall.

I just picked a bouquet a few days ago...

The house smells heavenly.

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I'm aware I've been gone a long time. Sorry about that. Facebook has me actin' like a fool!!! But good news, I've given up FarmVille and Mobsters 2, so if I can wean myself a bit more from Facebook, I'll be back to blogging and better than ever!!! God do I have some funny stories! I'm serious! I've missed you all terribly and will be back to normal soon.
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Kisses and hugs all around and thanks for hanging in here with me. Love you all,
Me! ;)

Can you believe the parks service allows me to do that? No, me either!

This was the storm. It's absolutely beautiful and sunny now, but I thought I'd show this instead. These guys were fun!

Yes...this is what I look through in rain. A Mercedes is terrific...well, until it rains! Imagine this on the freakin' freeway. Just worse! Can you believe they let me on the bike path!!!???

Yup, even she thinks it's pretty!

Couldn't get enough!

XO

One a those days...

I remember this day so well and thinking "Oh good god." It was critique day at UCLA and they are often unkind. I'm sitting in front of my painting hoping for the best...

It's been one of those days. Well actually two days. The storm started yesterday. I went to the park and swear to God this is what it was like. The wind was insane. I drive a tank but was being blow all over the road. I stayed in the slow lane doing 45-50! Seriously. Black Beauty is terrific, but a Mercedes has one major flaw...the wind shield wiper. It's famous for the one. Oh it looks all pretty and perfect, but in a rain storm it's a burden because think about it. It has to cover the freakin' entire windshield. By the time it gets back to the driver's side I can't see a damn thing. So I'm in the tide pool lane doing 45, hydroplaning and tractor trailers are passing me, throwing more water. "Thanks buddy...I couldn't see before, now I can't see at all." God please. I had so much trouble driving to and from the park yesterday. It was awful. I wouldn't recomment it. Certainly not in my car.

Then this morning. Not raining at all. I was late, but I was hurrying not to be later. God I really was. Got in the car and the storm clouds were black. Got to the end of the street. DOWNPOUR!!! What do you do? You just sit and laugh. What the hell are you gonna do? So I drive all the way to the park in the pouring rain at 45 mph. Get out and I'm walking on about a million freakin' Sycamore tree balls. All knocked off by the storm. I know. Don't speak. I'm in my cast and my flip flops. My cast is going all Willy Wonka on me as I hit each one and I'm in pain. I go for my running sneakers. Whoop...forgot them. So I'm at the park in my freakin' flip flops and cast. Don't speak. I feed everyone at the first station in the pouring rain. I'm soaking wet and I can't stop laughing. I pull up the 20 lb steel pole and get on the bike trail. I stop at the entrance to my path. You have to understand, the park is a mess. Trees down everywhere, leaves, branches, you name it...it's there. I saw a crew of people cleaning up when I entered the park. They're on community service and have this detail. What did they do? They put every freakin' limb and tree trunk at the entrance to my path. I'm serious. They have literally miles of space to put the shit, but what do they do? They pile it like a damn bon fire at a homecoming weekend to the entrance of my path. I'm wet, I'm in a cast, I'm walking in a flip flop and the puddles are huge and I've had a migraine for about 7-8 days. I looked to the sky. I did. Then I went and moved all of it. There are no words. Trust me. When I looked up I saw them watching me from across the park. Like questioning me! Get over here...I'll kick every single one of your asses. I was so pissed. I moved entire tree limbs. Weighted a ton!!! With a migraine. Trust me, there was no kindness left in me. And then they came while I was back in the woods feeding the ferals. I heard one say "Yup, there she is," because the Mercedes was parked just opposite, so it was pretty obvious. I didn't say a thing, but then I saw one guy throw a branch into the path and that was it. I was out like a flash, but unfortunately I tripped on my plastic Target bag!!! Off it came, so I was laughing by the time I got to the entrance to the trail because it was just too damn funny. But in laughter said to him, "You don't think I know what you're doing? Get back here and get that thing out of my way. " And he did. In front of about 30 people. He needed to learn something today. He's on community service because he hasn't. But this morning he learned something. I know he'll remember me and this day. It's fine to be a smart ass, but not a thoughtless dumb ass. After that I headed home. Oh dear lord!!! Raining so hard. Driving 45, 50, 40, 55, 60, 65...what?! It was hard. I want a BMW again. Much easier!

Then got back to Carmichael. Oh dear lord! Huge car pileup. Hummmmm. If I can just get to that parking lot. Get to the parking lot, take it to Manzanita. Perfect. Going down Manzanita...Oh dear lord! HUGE CAR PILEUP. If I can just get to that parking lot. I did and took it like a maniac! Police everywhere. Huge floods everywhere. But I know all the back ways. I was taking the back way home and saw all the damage to my neighborhood. Wow. I didn't know. Trees, limbs down everywhere. The damage is insane. It really is insane. I had no idea.

Things...

You bet your ass that's a Buddy L truck!!! I bought it on eBay about 5 years ago. God I love it!!! This is Rob's old office. I took out his Pulp Fiction poster and put up my painting from honors study with Henry Hopkins at UCLA. Trust me...don't enlarge it. I got an A, but it isn't even done. You see that huge glob of paint to the right. That shouldn't be there!!! This was the Ben Franklin painting!

For god sakes don't enlarge this. I have too many wrinkles.
Just an update. I have a wicked scar and a hematoma. I have to see the dermatologist to figure out what to do. I have no idea what to do about the wrinkles and grey hair! Rob's Pulp Fiction poster. His was much bigger!!!

Okay, it's official...I'm late for the park because of all of you.

Wee Wee 1 and Wee Wee 2. Trouble. And yes, it's still primer. I haven't painted the walls yet. God, cut me some freakin' slack.

What? A day without Alan is a day without sunshine.

Nutty Rusty!

Alan had a $10 bill and a few singles. The kitties left the singles alone, but loved the big bucks!

You bet your ass that's her!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BkOWMXYMnQ

My darling nephew is into dirt bikes. I never told him what I know. He gave me this beautiful song and I just learned it's associated with motorcycles. The motorcycles I know. My friends raced. They were good. Really good. I didn't tell Alan. Why? I don't know. I remember about 5 years ago driving down the freeway in the early morning. A Sunday morning. I seemed like the only one awake, then they came. About 6-8 racers. They were probably traveling back from Sears Point. Just me and them. I had the BMW before I wrecked it. They pulled up along side and we looked at one another. One gave me the thumbs up. I'll remember that morning all my life. There's something about German engineering everyone appreciates. Then they were gone. I have beautiful memories of darling friends who raced. They were good. It's amazing to see someone lay down on their knee and make a turn. It's amazing. Alan doesn't know this about me. Probably know one does.

Alan, I love you so much. And yes, this is how my friends raced. No. I didn't tell you. I told you they raced...I just didn't tell you how.

Ohno...

Remember when I found Ohno as a baby? Shivering and the last one waiting to be adopted? I didn't walk, I ran with him. He was trouble from the beginning. Just pure trouble. Remember when he fell into the fish tank!!! Oh my God that was just awful, but in a really funny awful way!!! It wasn't as if we didn't have enough cats. We did, but Ohno needed us. And we needed him.

As you all know he's named Ohno because every time he'd walk into a room you'd hear "OH NO!!!" Yes, he was that much trouble. He loved his Dad's office. Spent hours there on the desk next to Rob memorizing cases and helping strategize. Then the wee divorce and Ohno went into a funk he's never returned from. He was the funniest, friendliest, most amazing, well adjusted kitty in the whole world, but the divorce killed his spirit. He became petty and mean and has remained so. He needs to be in a house where he's an only kitty, but I can't let him go because I love him so and I keep thinking everything's going to be okay.

He grew up to be such a beautiful boy. Remember how tiny he was? He's big and solid now. He looks light because he's all silky, but must weight 17-18 lbs. He's just all muscle. I pick up Mickey and he's a Maine Coon, so he's big. He's over 20 lbs, but feels light and delicate. Ohno feels like a damn tank. I don't really know how to explain it. You have to feel it. The boy is dense, but not in a dumb way!

Newman's been gone 9 months, almost to the day. He died on a full moon, so every full moon matters. I've waiting to see who would become the alpha male. It's taken a long time as most of you know. I realized tonight, it's Ohno. Without a doubt.

I looked at him tonight and know I will never give him to someone else. You all know me. That isn't in my heart. Somehow we will all navigate this new life. Without Newman. Without Rob.

XO