Fruit, A Rose, A Cop, A Skunk, A Dog And An Award. Literally.

Okay, this OF COURSE is not the post I'd planned, I'll get to that eventually. A few things happened today that are so funny I must share them. No, veggies and fruit aren't funny, but I wanted to share (brag about) my haul from the 99 Cent Store! Look at that. Isn't it beautiful. Cost around $8 and most is organic. The apricots were free because my neighbor's tree limbs hang in my yard. Just so you know the watermelon, 2 for 99cents. At the regular markets the exact same watermelon is selling for $3.99-$5.99 each, even at Trader Joe's. Bindi get your cute self over here because I'm going to plant one right on your cheek Missy for telling me about the 99 cent store. THANK YOU!

Looking out the kitchen window.

And now the fun begins!!! I love Sunday mornings because they're lazy, quiet and peaceful when I'm out and about in the morning. I'm tired today and don't have an aggressive bone in my body, so the trip home from the park was very relaxing. I did between 60 and 65 because even my foot was tired. I got off the freeway and slowly made it down Madison as usual and headed home. I got past about the 3rd big intersection and noticed the 6 lane boulevard (3 lanes on either side of course) was virtually absent of cars. Heaven. I was in the middle lane and then saw it, a cop car up ahead. There were only three cars at that moment heading east on Madison: me, the cop car and the car in front of me. (I'm laughing so hard, I can't stop laughing at this one.). The cop car was in the inside lane. The speed limit is 45 mph and I was doing almost that and they weren't, probably around 40, so I pulled up next to the cop and we all drove quietly down Madison. I didn't even look at the cop because I was too tired to move my head. And then it happened! A car went flying by all of us in the outside lane. I swear to God I felt like John Mcenroe when I started to laugh and said outloud "You can't be serious!" I just couldn't believe it and knew what was going to happen. And almost as if a lightbulb went off, the guy slowed down when he realized he'd just blown by a cop. I just kept thinking "How can you be that stupid?" There are only three cars on the freakin' road and you didn't notice one 's a cop!!??? By that time I was laughing so hard I thought I'd pee my pants. The guy slowed down so much we all caught up to him! Still laughing MAO I finally looked at my cop and he looked at me. He smiled and shook his head. I slowed down so that he could pull in front of me and in back of the offender! Still laughing. The lights were turned on, then the siren. I left them at Madison and Mazanita. I laughed all the way to Save Mart. I laughed in Save Mart. I laughed all the way home and I'm still laughing. I'm so sorry you all couldn't be there!!! Some things are just too funny.

You know how you get talking, don't pay attention, but just keep walking and expect to make it through the doorway or the sliding glass door? I was at the park this morning dealing with one of my most impertinent little skunks and he wouldn't let me through to set the water bowls down. He just keep sliding backward informing me I "WASN'T ALLOWED." The more he slid the closer he got to the tree. I finally said "KNOCK IT OFF AND GET OUT OF HERE" and he turned to run away. Unfortunately the tree truck was there and it knocked him for a loop. I said "Oh my God honey, are you okay?" He just sat there dazed and confused for a few moments. Sorta the way I felt when I walked into the tree limb at the park and had that stupid concussion! Remember that one?!

And then there's Fenway. Those of you who follow my blog know Fenway is the pip squeak to the left (T-Bone's on the right and yes, they're both exhausted from playing too hard). Those of you who don't, Fenway was a rescue from a homeless couple at the park and my darling MIL was kind enough to adopt him (thank you Mom!). Rob called the other morning laughing and said "I have a good one for you." Apparently Rob leaves his bedroom door cracked a bit because Fenway waits for him to wake up then bolts down the hallway, burst through the door, jumps on the bed and welcomes Rob to a new day. So the other morning Rob wakes up and can hear Fenway come running down the hall as usual. Then THUD. Unfortunately the door was closed.

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What? I couldn't make this crap up!!!

And this is an Award from my darling Bindi. Thank you. I should have it up by 2011!

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Love you all and hope you're having a beautiful Sunday (Monday to our Aussie and European friends),

XO Suze

Petunias...

You'd think a master gardener would know better than this. Nope!!! I bought them, put them on the patio and this happened within days. You know I don't kill snails. I've kept this six-pack for over a good 2 months hoping for some sort of recovery. I recently decided I didn't have a prayer in hell. Yes, it's true, even the best of us fail at growing sticks.
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XO ;)

I WON!!!

Yes, he's that handsome and he that's smart. I won because he entered me in a damn public radio contest. Who knew!!!??? I love men, don't get me wrong, but apparent love dead men more!!! Bach and Vivaldi. I couldn't live without either. Rob knows that, so he entered me a public radio contest to win free tickets to the Bach Festival in beautiful Carmel. I won. You bet your ass I did!!!

See that? I won.

I'm so shaken up I can't see straight.

Oh dear lord, I gotta look like the third photo when I attend? Now that's a damn joke, right? I'll have to get my sling backs off the disco ball at The Wild Onion.

XO

I'm using the same photo because I can't come up with anything better. (God that photo makes my arm look really slim. Trust me, it ain't that slim!)

I'm gonna tell you a funny story. I've had a headache all day, so that explains a whole hell of a lot. I would have called Dad but didn't because my head hurt too damn much. Thank God I didn't!!!

As most of you know BB (the F****** Mercedes) has been in the shop since last Thursday. What's today. Like Tuesday? Well technically Wednesday. Damn. You know, the last time this happened it cost over $500 just for the damn rental car. Pissed? Ha! The car was supposed to be fixed Monday and back in my loving arms by 5 pm. Ha! It was the "fuel relay." The part was ordered Friday and everything fixed Monday. Ha!

You all know by now my family is made up of a bunch of comedians. Dad had me down on the ground holding the damn cell phone to the exhaust as he listened to the car. No, not once. Like 5 freakin' times. He told me what was wrong. WRONG!!!!! My dad is a master mechanic and he was wrong according to the Mercedes shop. Ha! You have no idea how fun it is to prove Dad wrong. It was as if I'd died and gone to Heaven!!! I could hardly wait to tell him it was the fuel relay, but I had such a damn headache I couldn't. Then the shit hit the fan. No Mercedes Monday. No Mercedes Tuesday. Then the big reveal. No fuel relay problem even though they'd ordered the f******* part. Guess what the problem is? Exactly what my father said it is. What? You think I'm going to tell him he's right? NO!!!!!!!! Otin, baby can I please have the backhoe and an umbrella cuz I need to chill.
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XO

New Avatar!!!

HA!!! Well...almost. I don't know how to change it. Can't remember and can't figure it out (suggestions are welcome). Yes, trust me, I've tired really, really hard, but nope. (Look at my lamp. He's ogling me! I love that little guy. I'll tell you his story some day.)

Okay, so back to me. I had just come in from the garden after doing what I do best...water, and remembered what Cinnamon said (I'm paraphrasing of course) "Wouldn't it be nice to see Suze's ponytail sticking through her pink baseball cap." Well I didn't have my pink baseball cap on, I had on the lovely hat I received from Shara before she left to drive "Pinky half way around the world." As most of you know there's a new thrill going around : Take a photo of the back of your head. Being a single woman now, that's really hard. My first attempt is below. Not too bad, but not too good. At least I caught myself in the mirror. Hell, that was hard enough. My second attempt (above) was much better, but you'll never get a full back of the head photo because I don't know how to capture it. Perhaps if I held the camera above my head, but that would make my arms just look stupid. I'm not going to do that because I'm an artist and have integrity. I'm also a human being and have pride!

Oh, and just so you know, I hadn't showered in two day, so my hair was dirty in this photo. It was also about 105 degrees outside so everything seemed to be clinging to my sweat!!! NO, I'm not kidding. Do you watch the news? But just so you know, I wash hats like stuffed animals. Yup, put her throught the wash, then the dryer. Look at that little cutie!!! You bet she held up. (Just so you know: A wee bit of detergent, warm water, gentle cycle, rinse, rinse, dry. With softener strip.)

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XO ;)

THANKS SHARA!!! I LOVE IT!!!

Freedom...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVJVRywgmYM
This is absolutely not the post I'd planned, but found this video tonight and fell in love. It reminds me so of Robyn's "Hugs Video!" I don't care what anyone thinks about Michael Jackson, this is about people coming together, laughter, pure joy. I think it's very special and hope you agree. It made me laugh and cry.

My younger sister spent years in Europe. She raised two daughters while there who speak German, French and English. They are all free spirits. This video reminds me of them. Yes, I'm smiling through tears. Why? Because I know they'd do this in a second!!! (And to those who follow my blog, just so you know...Laur, Amanda and Ali.)
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XO

Looking out the kitchen window...

Happy July 6th!
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That's not the flag up at the moment. The American flag is flying, but that's a cutie from a few days ago. Have a nice day.
~
XO

She made it. This photo has nothing to do with her arrival. It's just the first one I saw and clicked on. It was taken when we first moved here 5 years ago. I know because the bookcases aren't "finished." The moldings aren't on, and magazines are lining the shelves and not put away which means the books aren't unpacked! Funny.

Yes, it's true, I don't listen to HGTV when it comes to decorating. I firmly believe a dininig room should also be a library. I'm serious. No really, I am. Why? Because why not? I've always believed rooms should have a duel purpose. Will my house sell? Of course. HGTV isn't right about everything. It's a great house and will appeal to so many buyers. Books aren't going to deter a buyer, nor Leah! Yup Leah, you bet your ass every shelf is loaded with books!!! And no, I'm not selling. Not right now at least.

Magazines. Don't even get me started. That subject is just stupid funny. And yes, I built the bookcases while at UCLA. They're actually beautiful once all the molding is slapped on. Obviously it isn't on in this photo. What? I am not perfect.

Shara's here. She's sleeping, but I'm not. You all know it's funny because Newman has been dead 6 months. How do I know? Because of the full moon. He died during a full moom and not one goes by without my heart dragging along side it. Nothing has changed. I miss him every single day. Six months have come and gone and here we sit. How could he just leave me? I do miss him so. It's funny how life goes on. How Shara arrives, how we eat pizza, how we watch Dateline and discuss Michael Jackson, how we move on. And yet, in the pit of my stomach I remember that boy and the day we moved into this house, put up the bookshelves and attempted to make a home. Who knew 5 years ago I'd be without Newman today and without Rob.

Life is so unpredictable.
XO
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P.S. Oh, and Bob, just so you know, Shara doesn't eat bacon. That's just too damn funny. After all I went through to get those 8 slabs! Stop by. You can have it. Share 4 with Megan. *Suze rolls eyes in head.*

A visitor from Texas...

THAT WOMAN IS COMPLETELY UNRELIABLE!!!

I'm exhausted waiting! I was late to the park. Hauled ass to get there behind an idiot doing 60 in the freakin' fast lane. Hauled ass back behind an idiot doing 65. I got around him and pulled in behind another idiot doing 65. What? Bunch a damn fools. Read the signs!!! Right after the sign that reads "Speed Limit 65," the next one say "Slow Traffic Move To The Right." Am I the only one reading the freakin' signs? Apparently.

I bought bacon. Forgot everything else, so Rob has to pick up the slack, but I remembered bacon. I went to the butcher and bought 8 slices of slab bacon. We laughed because she knows I'm a vegetarian. Smart ass said "You know how to cook this, don't you." Is everyone against me?!

I tried to call Shara. You know me and phone numbers. I know. I suck. I thought the most recent incoming was her. But behold...I dialed Cece. Left a lovely message. Clicked the next one. Left a nice message for my Mom. Next. Got my darling friend Veronica up in the mountains. We chatted a bit and she had a good laugh. Finally found the right phone number, but Shara "...isn't accepting calls" at the moment. Where's that little chicken neck? I'm gonna kill her!

I'll post when I have good news. I think we should place bets. Odds are she isn't arriving today. What do you think? I gotta go. I "accidently" left T-Bone outside last night for the FIRST TIME EVER!!! No, not the whole night, just about 2 hours. He's not an outside dog, he went bonkers. He broke through the garage door and popped the screen. A $200 door and he busted it!!! Damn! I have to buy new screen. Life. It's so unpredictable.

Cece just called because I called her. That's too funny. She and the kids are at the lake swimming. It's hot in Arkansas. It's hot here. Hell, it's hot everywhere. No, Shara still isn't here.

Life.
XO


She's so close. You know? She thought she was just an hour away, but she's like SIX!!! Too damn funny. Yes, the bathroom's ready and so is the bed. FINALLY!!! Now we wait for the princess. Yes, I know, stupid funny. When she arrives, she'll arrive. I can hardly wait!

I said,
"The house is a mess honey, so be prepared."
She's like family and like family doesn't really care. She said,
"All I want to see are the roses."
I said, "Good luck honey!"
Why? Because when Dr. P instructed me to let the garden go I took her literally. A wild raspberry took over and has never relented. I think it's swallowed the whole back 40 in less than 9 months. Seriously.
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Yes, Shara (Queenie!) our blogging buddy has arrived from Texas via L.A.. She called last night from the vicinity of Hearst Castle. Damn! Was I right or what!!!??? I told Bindi Shara should take Hwy 1 and sure enough she was already on it. It's the artist in her. Oh, and DAMN, she's almost here!!! Of course I still have a migraine, but will I turn her away? Of course not. She should arrive tomorrow around noon and will stay the night, or two. It's like a sister rolling in. You know what I mean? ! I have a million things to do to prepare for her visit, but here I sit. Why? Because my head hurts and I don't know where to start!!!
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I asked what she wanted to eat. She informed me that the desert was very cruel to her...she stayed with friends in Arizona who were on a fast and vegans. Obviously it can't get worse!!! She should only eat cake!!! I should be baking. Can anyone bake here? Shara needs cake.

The frig is stocked. Trust me.

And the kitties are on their best behavior...

No really, they are.

Well...maybe they will be on Thursday.

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This is going to be a running blog, so new photos and text will be added as time permits. Wish me luck and those who know Queenie, stop by and give a hug and a "hey!" This should be a fabulous few days with our darling friend here. Hopefully she'll get on and say "Hi!"

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You know what's so fun? She's actually driving her own car and navigating the west on her own. She's such a gem. I'll get her link up so those who don't know her can visit. She's an art teacher in Texas and she's kick ass. She takes gorgeous photos and I've told her she can only take GORGEOUS photos of me. Is that self-centered?! What?!

XO

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P.S. I know Bindi won't mind. Shara's the woman who saved Bindi. She drove hours from Texas to rescue a pregnant Bindi and Serene. Shared her house with them, loved them, nurtured them. She's one of the most beautiful women on this planet. She humbles me. I'm sitting here sharing this with you because I know if I did NOTHING to prepare for her visit, it would be okay. But I gotta go because I have so much to do. Having her here is truly an honor.

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Yes...of course I'd do this for all of you. *Suze rolls eyes in head.*

The journey begins...

It's funny how you arrive at art. It's a journey and not an easy one. Everyone thinks, oh, you just slap some paint down and you're done. No. It's work from beginning to end. And it starts with a blank, gessoed canvas. You sit, you look. And then you sit some more.

I went into the closet today to search for a gessoed canvas. Wow. Haven't seen this in over five years. I painted it at UCLA for an Honors Study class with Henry Hopkins back in the early 90's. Henry was a dear friend. He was the chairman of the art school at UCLA and the director of the Arm and Hammer Museum in LA as well as the former director of the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. I loved that man. And I know he loved me. Why? Because I was so pissed off when I met him. I was dealing with smoking in my sculpture studio and I was livid. Absolutely f****** livid. He didn't help me. I went to the LA Times and they wrote a kick ass piece and the Regents of California got involved and banned smoking from all classrooms on UC campuses. No. I don't screw around. Ever. Henry and I became dear friends and I took numerous honors classes with him. This was one. I was concurrently taking "Great American Authors" and read about Ben Franklin. There was a woman in the book. I painted her for my honors class. The pearls are real. They're glued on. She's holding real gems in her hand. Henry said "Sue, I didn't see her like that." I didn't either initally. I got an A+. Not because Henry was my friend, because it was good. Henry knew art. He never screwed around about art. Never. He would never yank my chain. If it sucked, I'd know. He actually wanted me to become a photographer. I told him I didn't want to. He informed me I was missing my calling. Hummmmmmmmmm.

Pretty. Yes, I'm looking down into canvases I know so well.

Another.

It really is a journey.

Three gessoed canvasas waiting for me. Why didn't I gesso the sides?

Wow. I didn't finish that?

I thought I painted over that. Hummmmmmmmm. I grabbed it and hung it in Rob's old office. It looks lovely.

Yes, it's all begins with a white canvas. Trust me. I'd know.

XO

I think this is my problem...

LEO

The good:

Generous and warmhearted

Creative and enthusiastic

Broad-minded and expansive

Faithful and loving

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The bad:

Pompous and patronizing

Bossy and interfering

Dogmatic and intolerant

~

XO The Bandit.

I'm taking a few months off. With so few comments I realize this isn't what I'm supposed to do or where I'm supposed to be. I'll come back and figure it out, but for now, no. This is simply not where I'm supposed to be. You know how full my plate. Take care. I love you all.

Challenging Fields, Barns and Al Held...

It's true. As an almost architect I'm a huge barn fan. Huge I tell you. My dad's and even bigger barn fan. A few years ago I was looking for a gift to send him and found an artist in, I think, North Carolina with gorgeous note cards of barns...and this one!!! Of course I bought the package and kept this one. I found it yesterday while cleaning a pile of...you know...stuff. It still cracks me up! If you grew up in the country and have ever taken a shortcut through a field you aren't supposed to trespass, you're familiar with honest to God fear! Oh, and then you have to out run the animals!

I'm giving credit to the artist. That's her. Hope she's still around. She's a photographer with lots of gorgeous photos.

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Yes it's true, the Hellman's estate looked down on us and famous artist, Al Held was just below us. We were surrounded by wealth, but we lived in a humble abode. But as a kid I love looking at the barn Al lived in. He'd converted a big old thing into a home and it was so beautiful. My sisters and I would walk by and I'd ask them to stop so I could think. We'd talk about life and what we wanted to do with it. I'd always reply "I want to live in a barn." You know me and my sisters by now...yes, the laughter was deafening. How rude. And yes, hilarious!!! But I loved that barn and still do to this day. If I could move home this minute and into a house, I'd buy that barn. But I don't have a couple million to spend!

Al was very famous. Painted HUGE canvases. You know like 20'x 50'. Just enormous. He lived half the year in our town and half the year in Italy. I was at UCLA when I saw both homes featured in Architectual Digest. I smiled. Al died in 2005 or 06 and wasn't the nicest guy in the whole world, but he was my guy because he lived in a converted barn, just down the hill and employed lots of my family members. He always seemed to require lots of heavy equipment! Google him. I'm sure you'll come up with something! In fact, I'm going to Google him!

Megan, RC's bouquet was still beautiful last night. She's moved on, but I'll keep you posted. I think we should have some ice cream to celebrate. In fact I think we should celebrate every day as you suggested until the last pedal drops. Ice cream is on sale at SaveMart. I'll get some.

XO

Father's Day...

I have always sent my dad serious card. Always. But today I saw her and knew in an instant. It's the only card I saw and the only one I opened. Please God, say it isn't so!!! Those of you who follow this blog and know me well, know. Is that funny, or what?!!!

Oh God please! *Turns backhoe around and starts diggin'!* No, you don't get better than this.

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I love you Daddy. And thanks.

the KILLER INSIDE ME...

As you all know I cleared out Rob's office. I stuffed all his books in about 10 billion white plastic garbage bags and booted them into the garage. Why? Because it was too painful to have them in clear view. I was doing laundry the other day and one fell out with a wee thud. I turned to look and said outloud, "Jimmy, what the hell are you doing here?" Then laughed my ass off. Now I know Jim Thompson's dead, but apparently the publishing company used Jimmy Bastard as a model.

Rob took all his books last week, but I hid this one for Leah!!! Yes, it really is amazing how those bastards look alike! And it's also amazing how criminal appellate lawyers and almost everyone involved in law enforcement read crime fiction. Don't even get me started!!!

Oh, I should add, it's an amazing book. I'll let Leah critique it for you.

XO

Bottles...

My beautiful sister Laura presented a box of bottles she'd collected for me during my visit to NY to take care of my other sister's family while she was in Cape Cod. God, that was a mouth full! Yes, a whole big box of bottles! Above are two of my favorites. I didn't fly the box home when I returned to CA because I didn't trust the airline to gently embrace them. Instead, I sent them via USPS. Cost about 30 bucks!!! Yes, it was a BIG box. They arrived safely and I've cherished each and every one over the past five years.

A few weeks ago a kitty knocked the blue bottle off the shelf in the kitchen. It broke when it hit the porcelain sink. It didn't stand a chance against the sink. I couldn't throw it away. I kept it on the counter. All broken. I threw it away today. Reluctantly. It's funny what you hold on to for dear life.

XO