Life

A Bandit

I don't even think I remember how to post a pic

Hey T-Bone. That is a little over exposed. Hey buddy, get out of the way, you're blocking my medal. Sorta! Yes it's true honey, Mommy made that. Blow torch and everything. Yup welded. My first welds. They are so CHUNKY! But look, that arrow stuck to the cold roll steel like glue! You see that?

The first anniversary of Gary's death.

There are days you just want to hide your head in a blue and white planter, but you can't because life just keeps coming at you. I was so blue today until talking to Mom. She made me laugh so hard. On this day, my mother made me laugh. That is one hell of a woman. Why? Because she was able to make me feel something other than pain, even through her own. I told her about posting on Facebook last night. She asked if I'd removed everything. I said "Yes." She was grateful. She reminded me that life isn't perfect and we're all dealing with so much pain. To be patient. To have faith. On a day I should have been supporting my mother, she was supporting me. Mom's are so amazing. My mom is so gracious and kind to me. I love how she encourages me, how she makes me laugh, how she sees so far beyond my vision. Her soulfulness, wisdom, understanding, love.

Why am I here? Because it's like a sanctuary. It's a beautiful place. When I come back I remember what it was like to be in this space. To have so many amazing friends around me. All the laughs. All the fun I had before being introduced to Facebook. So on this day, where do I come? Here. It represents a happier time in my life and Mom told be today, I have to find my way back, and she's right because I can't go on with this much pain. Gary's never coming back. Ginny and Roy may never pick up the phone. That's the reality. She said "Suzanne, you have a choice..." (Although it's my birth name, Mom never calls me Suzanne unless she means business and trust me, she meant business.) So, I'm a Blogger again. I like that. And now I'm off to visit Kylie and ask for a prayer.

The End...

I'm thinking about closing this place. Officially. So much on my mind. I loved this place very much.

As the days go by...

The man. Maestro.

California nights.

California days.

Progress.

Ohno. Trouble.

Primed, but not painted. Yes, of course I have goals!

This is what they pulled out of that HUGE stack. *Suze rolls eyes in head.*

Feathers. I have a HUGE stash. Huge. I love fealthers.

A few. Hawk feathers. You see those?

Baby. AKA, Trouble.

Heartbreak

Why don't I come back? Because it's heartbreaking.

Memories...

Yes, hate that yellow date thing, but can't seem to get rid of it. See that red dot on my right calf? You know what that's from? I returned from Denver one late evening. Mommy was standing at the door with the yellow light bulb on waiting for me to hug her. I ran across the yard only to find my dad had left an engine in my path. Yes. An entire engine. I remember screaming "OH MY GOD!!!" I had pain and the wound from hell. My doctor says it's an ingrown hair. Will need surgery! Ahhhhhhhhh, screw it. Sometimes when I shave I screw up and knick it. Which only makes it worse. Oh, and bigger! Family memories. Cherished.

Happiness...

My amazing sister Tammy on the far left. Her gorgeous daughter Monica then my new about to be niece in law Kayla. The rest I don't know. But I know the three I love. Tam, if you ever see this, I love you so. Tammy, you know. And Monica, if you read this, listening to Citizen Cope, Sideways. I love you both so much. Aunt Suzy XOXOXO

Some of the girls!

Amanda (my sister Laura's daugher), Des (my sister Janet's daughter) about to give birth to my family's first great grandchild, my darling mom, Alison (Laura's other daughter), Cailee (my sister Charlene's daughter), my beautiful niece Monica (Tammy's daughter), my wonderful future niece in law, Kayla, my amazing niece Valerie (Jan's other daughter). Just some of the crew!

I haven't been around. Why? Because I feel as if I've lost my voice. Writing here was so effortless, but after months on face book, using the least words possible, I feel as if I've lost me. It used to be so easy and now it's not. I miss all of you. I miss this place. The way it always felt so gentle. Like landing in a down pillow. I'll try to write more often if you start showing up again.

XO

I could say it...but I won't.

My darling Mickey...

~

No, I'm not the brightest light bulb in the room. How do I set up a new PRIVATE BLOG!!! I can't figure it out for the life of me! If you want the sexy stuff...HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Leah, baby, I can't do this all on my own!!! :)

Just realized the two photo are together. Mickey, the day I rescued him at the vets. Then about a month later. Almost 10 years later, I still have him and love him with all my heart. One of the best kitties ever born. Sometimes you get so lucky. You know me. I'm grateful. A Maine Coon. Over 20 lbs. And awesome cat. Absolutely awesome. Stunning. Loving and beautiful. I'm a lucky woman.

I know I didn't keep you informed. I know. I'm sorry. This was like my 5th cast or something stupid. I went through 7 or 8. Lots and lots of trouble. Finally ended up in a soft cast again because I couldn't tolerate a hard one. Like Picasso...this was my Pink Phase! I liked it, but she lasted only about 2 days...

Rob's note the night he saw my pink cast!!!

The view from the kitchen window. The last day I saw those crystals. Ohno knocked the candle holder into the sink and killed it. Not much crystal left in this house!

Love you all. Thanks for your patience and friendship.

XO

A day in the life...

Hummmmmm. An older photo. Maestro with our tree. You know we no longer have the tree, but we still have Maestro!

I'm lucky. Do I realize that? Yes. Of course. Do I often feel as if I am? No. Of course not. Life is hard. But I look at my kitties and my dog and I know I'm so blessed. I go to the park every day to feed the ferals and I melt. I drive home on 80 looking at the snow on Tahoe. My life is blessed in so many ways. Those who know me best, know I question everything. That's just me.

Challenge: Only took about 20 minutes to get this photo!!!

TO ALL MY BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS AND FAMILY

BLESSED WITH WEE ONES...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!