Sheryl Crow & Vince Gill ~ What You GIve Away...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocbdxkQ-Mm8

This video stands on it's own. I hope you enjoy.

XO

Kylie's Happy Belated "GREEN" Birthday!!!

Our darling friend Kylie is celebrating her 55th birthday today. Okay, well that's a lie. She isn't 55 and technically it isn't even her birthday today. She's Australian, so April 30 was yesterday in Aussie Land. Speaking of which, she's probably sleeping and won't read this until May 2nd. *Suze is seen walking away shaking head and mumbling "Life is just too complicated for me."*
~
I've decided to go green! The two rascals above are from Jo's birthday party. Yup, they're still at it.
This is your gift, a handmade birdhouse (it's a church honey!!!). It was sold 3 years ago, but with your skill I bet you can barter for it. I think that purple bush in your front yard would tip the scale.

I'd send some Meyer Lemons, but you should buy local.

The raspberry swirl cheesecake I made for Cielo's dessert contest last year still looks lovely, so why not enjoy it again.

I stocked the frig with lots of green in honor of this very special day.

Ohno would like to "regift" last years basket of flowers. (And yes, that's still primer on the walls.)

And finally, we're reusing Robyn's card from last year for your bithday this year. Just cross out her name, the date and delete your "half" name at the end. And look, we used to call Cece, Cecile!

~

Happy Birthday baby. I love you, and so do all the people who signed your lovely card, last year.

~

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I Won One More...

Look, there's a photo that goes with this post. I can't find it for the freakin' life of me. I have hundreds and hundreds of photos I have to wade through and I simply can't find it. After three attempts, I give up. Go to Karen's or Leah's for the offical photo cuz you won't find it here. But I do like that one!!!
~

My darling friend Karen (go check her out, she's sexy!) has honored me with this award . Why? I have no clue except I'm Blottie (never deserved that award either!!!). I have to list five reasons I'm sexy or five things that make me sexy. Hell, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm just gonna wing it! I guess I could go back and read the instructions more carefully, but I'm feeling too sexy to try that hard. Shouldn't I be eating Bon Bons or something?

~

1) Okay, this is imperative. At least to me. I think sexy is someone who laughs from their soul. Whose smile is genuine. Who gathers strength from humor. I love people who make me laugh because I find that sexy. So I'm sure that's what others find sexy in me. You all know me and know how hard I laugh. I know that doesn't answer the question. I guess what I'm trying to say is laughter is sexy. And someone who can laugh at themselves, even sexier!

~

2) You may find this interesting, but I don't think sex defines sexy. Do you know what I mean? Some of us are really good, some not so good, others...oy vey! Now I know I'm GREAT in the bedroom (!!!), but it's not what I do under Rachel Ashwell sheets that makes me sexy, it's what I do every single day of my life. I know that for a fact because I don't screw everyone who finds me sexy!!! And they still find me sexy!!! Even Karen! Case closed. Do I still have to answer #'s 3, 4 and 5?

~

3) Okay, okay, okay...I'm soft and gentle, yet rough and tumble. I can grow and design one gorgeous flower garden, yet operate heavy equipment. Why? Who knows, but it even impresses me! I'm too sexy for myself.

~

4) When will this agony end! Okay, one more. I think what makes me sexy is my pure passion for the welfare of others to the detriment of myself. I should submit a cartoon of myself to the New Yorker Magazine with the caption "Road Kill."

~

5) And finally, now you all know I don't wear makeup or perfume and that I rarely make an effort to look good, but I have nice hair. I'm a Leo! I think that's what got me this here fine award because Karen's a hair dresser! Do I hear an Amen?

~

I'm now supposed to bestow this award on 5 friends. I'm not going to. I'm going to ask that you take this little sucker and just run with it if you see fit. I hope you do because it's a whole hell of a lot of fun. Really, it is. And most importantly, it makes you think about what defines you and why people think what they think and why YOU think what you do. It's a very interesting process and a journey I hope you take. You sexy thing you!

~

XO

Suzy :)

Come Sit In The Garden...

Snowball Bush

~
It's funny. As soon as I have time I'm going to hold a contest. The winner will recieve a wee bit of art. The contest will be about looking back or forward. A once clear path or one with weeds, hovering roses and lots of "Creeping Jenny!"
I decided to share these UNEDITED photos with you because the last few days have been ROUGH to say the least!!! Kylie said something interesting the other day in a comment. I'll paraphrase because I can't remember in detail exactly what she said, but it had something to do with not being able to compete with "Suze's design aesthetics." I laughed. I laughed really, really hard. And here's why. For everything of beauty you see around this joint, there are 10 things that look like crap!!! NO! I'm not kidding. For instance, enlarge the photo. There's a dead vine to the right. I had to cut it back to stop it from growing into the attic. I have yet to remove the dead stuff. The weeds are insane. You see that?! The edging hasn't been done. Most of the roses weren't pruned.
See, no edging to speak of. Seedlings of privit growing 3 feet high to your right. Ivy that was never supposed to be there. A pink rose sleeping on the lawn because I was too tired to prune it and it went all floppy and top heavy on me. Is that what she's supposed to look like? No!!! Of course not. But doesn't she look pretty!!!
Looking out the master bedroom window last night. You might notice the windows haven't been cleaned yet. Look, I do windows twice a years. That's it. It's a lot of work and I don't wash them in spring until the rain has passed. I'm not lazy...technically the rain hasn't passed. It rained yesterday. No, I'm not kidding you, it rained!
~
Front and center our new Maple tree. Yup that little weenie replaced our 60 foot Ash. *Suzy starts blinking really, really fast.* Yes, and that's Newman just to the right of the Maple under the slate heart. Right beside him is our goldfish. To the rear is the terribly neglected and unedited garden this year. I'm in so much trouble back there. To the left are about 50 rose bushes that still need planting. Unfortunately I have no place to plant them, nor the energy to figure out what to do. I'd hoped they'd just get up and plant themselves. I was terribly mistaken.
Ahhhhhhhh yes, the side yard to the north of the house. As most of you know, used to be all pea gravel until I got the lovely idea to plant around that horrible aluminum shed. Oh, it was so perfect in the beginning and then Dr. P said "Sit back, relax and watch the garden grow." The garden didn't, the weeds did and so did the Creeping Jenny. I don't mind the Creeping Jenning. In fact I LOVE IT!!! But the weeds? No. That path use to be about 4 feet wide until last year. My doctor killed my garden!!! But I'm not so sure because everyone who comes through the gate, particularly men from SMUD, etc. walk through the gate and go nuts. My former neighbors visited recently and were in awe (and they had the most beautiful home with landscape to die for). I'm rethinking my aesthetics. And no, I haven't uprighted that urn in more than 3 years. Oh, and the roses you see...well they're all "standards." Who knew!?

For some odd reason this combo works. A gorgeous pink Azalea with Anenomies. The Anenomies will be taller than the Azalea in a month and six feet by October, but somehow the two of them work it out. I have no idea how! Standard roses to the right of the Azalea. Yes, I know they look like strubs. Leave me alone. I do the best I can.

Well that's just the worst case of standard envy I've ever seen! Yup, probably what, six feet wide!!!??? I know it's absolutely pathetic. I can't get down the path without lifting a cane then wiggling under. And no, not to the Eureka rose, the rose across the lane!

What NOT to do with a standard rose! Also what NOT to do with a bird bath. Birds can't even find the damn thing let alone take a bath. Oh, and the edging. Please. Cut me some slack. I have too much to do!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, a much needed change. My two skunk fighting over food at the park!

My favorite bird. He's been with me for almost two years.

Back to roses. A Baby's Blanket standard rose completely out of control.

It's blurry, but the wind was blowing yesterday and this was the best I could do. My beloved hydrangea. This one is Endless Summer. It's about to bloom for God Sakes!!!!!

My favorite rose in the whole world. I have no idea what her name is!!! I'll have to work on that! This used to be a 4' wide path. She owns it now. And she isn't even planted. She's still in her container, but buried roots deep. I don't know what I'm going to do because she's happy.

Yes, the lovely Azalea. She's a keeper.

And Newman. I shouldn't have buried you next to the Maple darling. That slate heart is a constant reminder of all the stuff Mommy did wrong. Mickey was here when I posted your photo and I alerted him to it. He looked a long, long time. No, none of us have forgotten. Trust me. We love you as if it were yesterday. And no, we don't have a new alpha male yet. Oh they're still fightin' and scrapin' it all out. Thanks baby. Mommy needs this crap like a hole in the head.

~

Love you all!

XO

Looking Out The Kitchen Window...

Thank God there's always a new day.

And hope.

XO

Cracks In The Pavement...

Update

I wrote this when I arrived home from the park. I needed to write in order to get it out of my heart. I didn't post because I refused to impose it on any of you.

~

I didn't do ANYTHING I was supposed to today. NOTHING. Instead I sat on the sofa, looked at the beautiful garden, then, in absolute agony, placed my head on the pillow and fell asleep. I never do anything like that. Never. I woke with wet tears still on my face. Then Cece called. I started to cry. She asked what was wrong, but I wouldn't tell her. She asked again and I said it was so awful I didn't think she'd want to hear. She said "I do, talk to me." And with those gentle words, a dear friend allowed me to find my voice.

~

If you are weak of heart, please do not read this post. I beg you, don't. This is about animal cruelty and it is so unkind. I asked Cece if I should post. She said, yes because we have amazing friends who are so wise and kind and who always, always offer intelligent advice. So with no futher adieu, I offer my post in absolute agony and tears because I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing. If you have any suggestions, any at all, please don't hesitate to comment. I'm open to all suggestions. You know me. You know my heart. I would never impose this on you if I didn't think you could help.

~
This isn't a good photo because the colors are misleading, but it was the best I could do the other morning with the light I had. I woke for the first time on the Macy's sofa in my studio. I opened my eyes looking up at this. At first I didn't know where I was, then realized. It's a large painting, a little over 3' by a little over 5', and looking up at it gave me a new perspective. I didn't move. I just keep looking. And thinking about life, how it changes, how it hurts so much at times and so joyful others. How perspective changes. How... Then "Baby"ran full throttle into the office and jumped from almost the doorway to my chest. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I yelled. And the day began.

~
I've been terribly ill the past few days (so Cece, that's why I haven't returned your calls), and today woke with T-Bone dancing all around at 4 am to say "MOMMY, I HAVE TO PEE!" After dealing with "our" skunk and T-Bone I made some coffee and started my day. What else was I supposed to do? I read for awhile then wrote to RC about what I'd read! I raced around like a mad woman after that to get everything done to make it to the park on time. I was in a terrific mood. Happy to be alive. It was an absolutely beautiful, beautiful morning and when I arrived at the park a homeless guy I call a "friend" greeted me as always. I have wonderful homeless friends at the park and they always look out for me. I trust and respect them. I fed one feral near my car and the birds who wait, then walked to my other ferals in the wood after stopping to talk to my friend for a few minutes. After seeing my kitties and skunk, feeding more birds and enjoying the morning I returned to the car. Before leaving I walked over to my friend to say goodbye and asked if he'd seen "Candy." He said he had, "Yesterday." I said, "Well when you see her again, please let her know I'm thinking about her. I'm always concerned, you know."

~

***WARNING. THE REST OF THIS POST MAY BE DIFFICULT FOR MANY. DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT. TRUST ME, I RESPECT THAT DECISION MORE THAN YOU REALIZE.***
~
My friend said "Don't EVER give a kitty to Candy or her friends because they abuse them." I thought I knew what he meant, but ask him to clarify. He did and I felt my heart literally break. Not for her, for animals who suffer at the hands of humans. He gave me the details although I didn't ask for THAT much detail. I thought "DO I HAVE A "TELL ME" SIGN TATOOED TO MY FUCKING FOREHEAD." I felt like I was going to die. I'm not kidding. I don't care about being lied to or betrayed by someone, I care about the welfare of animals. Yes, I know it happens. Yes, I know there are assholes in the world, but I've always believed I don't know any.
~
I have help Candy countless times. Once in the pouring rain and freezing cold when the Park Rangers had taken her tent and all the contents within. She was cold, wet and had her darling dog. Nothing else. She and Buddy had spent the night under a tarp and hadn't eaten. They were cold and hungry. I went immediately to WalMart and spent almost $200 I didn't even have to replace all her stuff, so she and Buddy would be okay and bought food for both. To hear what I heard nearly killed me. All of you who know me and have read this far are aware I'm hyper sensitive, so I was beyond angry and agony. I asked my friend why he would tell me "all this?" He said "Because Suzanne, you're so trusting and kind and you think everyone deserves respect, but I'm telling you right now, they don't. Some would slit your throat. There are so many homeless here who abuse cats and dogs. Why do you think so many have dogs?" I started to cry and looked at the pavement. All I could see were all the cracks. What once had been perfect asphalt was now all cracked and broken and I realized it was a metaphor. I'm cracked and broken. I could go through 10 divorces and never feel this much pain because a marriage I can fix, or leave behind, but this, I don't know how. As I drove away I realized life is actually about cracks in the pavement. Every painful experience is a crack that just wears you away. When I was out of the park and over the bridge and thought I was alone, I rolled up the windows and screamed at the top of my lungs as I drove slowly into a stop light, "I HATE THIS FUCKING LIFE." I've only done that twice in my life. A guy on a bench waiting for the bus looked at me so odd, as if he'd heard. How odd. I looked up and realized my freakin' sunroof was open! I smiled and gave him the thumbs up. He smiled and gave it back. Then I had to sit and wait for the light to change while I'm sure he wondered what was wrong. I wouldn't look at him. I felt terribly embarrassed.
~
I had to run errands. I went to WalMart and wouldn't look up. Not once. I was consumed with anger and pain and constantly on the verge of tears and didn't want to impose on anyone's happiness. I didn't smile until leaving WalMart. I was at a stop sign in front of Hooters and at In-N-Out-Burger and there was a young black woman with a baby and small child. No one would stop to let them go through the crosswalk. I did. The mom mouthed "Thank you!" Her little girl walked in front of my car and as she did gave me the biggest wave. I laughed so hard and waved so big. It was absolutely beyond precious. For every low there is a high. Honestly.
~
I drove back to Carmichael (how wierd, almost wrote Berkeley) and have struggled. On the freeway, at Target, in the driveway, etc. I drove down our street, saw our beautifully manicured lawn, our gorgeous trees, our lovely home and all the lovely homes around ours and felt such joy. I wondered "Why me?" as I looked out over my Mercedes. Why me? I pulled into the driveway, buried my head in the wheel and then I sobbed. Really, really sobbed. Not because of all I have, but because with all I have I feel helpless. So I came here to try to make sense of this. I thought if I wrote about it I 'd be able to find my way. I've concluded, I'm unable. I don't know what to do and I don't know where to go. Just like looking up at my painting one sleepy morning, my perspective has changed.
~
It's funny because a dear friend recently sent a beautiful email I cherish. In it he/she referred to my "demons." I had to laugh because I don't have any. I remember telling my wonderful Beverely Hills psychologist the same thing and warning him the sessions might be "really boring" (I was just in absolute physical PAIN!). I don't have demons. Trust me, I'd know! I had a very simple life growing up, argued with my parents as a teen...you know smoked a bit of pot, drank a bit. All stupid stuff, but nothing like a demon. But every day life hurts my soul. Honestly, it does. Obviously this does.
~
I often wonder why I'm here. And for the first time today I know. I walked into the house to all the ferals I've rescued at the park. Everyone is usually insane upon my arrival, but today the entire household was so quiet and peaceful. They all knew. Somehow, everyone knew Mom was in absolute agony and they were so respectful. I went to each and every one and thanked them for being in my life.
~
I love people who adore animals. Who never abuse or mistreat them.
~
XO
Me
~
P.S. I'll answer the comments in the previous post. Promise.

P.P.S. Anyone who comments here I cherish because I know you've traveled this far. I'm forever grateful. I'm meeting a homeless friend tomorrow morning I've know for almost 2 years. I'm going to ask him straight up if dogs and kitties are abused. He'll tell me the truth. If it's yes, I'll wreak hell upon that place. Trust me.

Yes he/she is that close! Like a little pet!!! Three days ago I was feeding the wee ones and something caught my eye. I looked up and a woman and her small son started down this path from the bike trail. I said "If you don't mind, I'm trying to feed feral kitties and you'll scare them if you come in." She said they were volunteers picking up trash in the park. I knew that and told her I keep the area very tidy and not to worry. She said "It's so beautiful back here and started to walk towards me, I know to shake my hand. I said "Honey, I wouldn't do that if I were you, there's a skunk about a foot away from you." She looked down and said "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Yup, that skunk, eating that food. I'd just taken his/her photo. She said "They eat cat food?" They certainly do. She was lovely and had her son take a peak. It was so darling. I can't believe how many beautiful people I've met feeding feral kitties. I think both were absolutely amazed by how close they were to a skunk! And I was amazed how precious they were for taking time to pick up other people's trash. About every month a huge contingent of voluteers descends on the park to do what others should. It always amazes me. For some reason she reminded me of our dear friend Karen with a young child. Someone who makes and effort. Who makes a difference. Who teaches a child to do the right thing. I know there are so many parents who do that and I'm so grateful for them. Honestly, I am. And I'm so happy my little skunk stayed put and amused them because I know that little boy was so happy being that close to the wee one. If I didn't feed ferals, I would never have seen a little boy and a skunk together. It was pretty terrific. So much joy.

I'll tell you something about skunks. I don't think they see too well! I'm serious. I'll walk into the woods and wee one is right there because I call for Emma and the skunk thinks he/she's Emma. I have to tell him/her to scram so I can get in. It's the funniest damn thing. I can be about a foot in front of it and have to say "Baby, knock it off, move along." Seriously. It's never sprayed me, but it turns it's butt around and appears as though it might. I tell it to "knock it off." Apparently it can hear!

The park has been a gift. Honestly. I walked in the other day to a huge deer looking at me. Obviously a buck. I told him he had to move so I could get past to feed the ferals. He wouldn't. I said "No, I'm serious, you just can't stand there." And so it goes. Me and a buck a few feet apart. This morning I saw three deer run out of the forest just feet in front of me, leap across the bike path, stop, look at me for a long, long time, run across the field and to the river. It was beautiful. The place is magical. Our old friend "Hunter" waits long hours for these moments to shoot them. For me, they just come. I'm a very lucky woman. Perhaps because I ask for absolutely nothing.

XO

Well as most of you know, I have an Ikea sofa. A few days ago the Ikea sofa was moved to the living room from the family room. The much loved and respected Macy's sofa was moved from the living room to my studio and the charity sofa was moved from the dining room to the family room (yes, it 's been parked in the dining room all these months!). All this was done for a reason. I often fall asleep on the sofa. The Macy's sofa is a love seat and difficult to fit my 5'2" frame on with 50 f****** cats, so I made an executive decision. Replace it with the Ikea sofa. Brilliant. When I went to go to sleep I found 5 kitties on the Ikea sofa, hummmmmmmmmmmm, 2 on the charity sofa, 2 on the bed. I ended up in my office on the Macy's sofa.

MF.

It's amazing...

Trust me, take a moment and watch. Just trust me...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OcQ9A-5noM&feature=haxa_popt00us03

It's our darling Robyn's birthday today. I wasn't able to drive to the house or pick a huge bouquet like last year, so this morning I picked a few of my favorites to display in the kitchen window in honor of our bar maid/waitress/dear friend!!!

From left to right:

1) Ohno! What, you think he'd miss it? Paaaaaaaaaaalease.
2) First pink one: I think this is Perfume Delight. It's smells devine and is a great bloomer and vase rose. I adore it.
3) This is an English rose. A David Austin called "The Pilgrim." It's one of the most perfect shrub roses I've ever known and ideal for you my dear Robyn because it's relentless.
4) The white rose is another David Austin rose. "Winston Churchill." It blooms best in spring and fall, but who cares because it smells like a baby! Yes, it's true, I've been know to bury my nose in the bloom for long periods of time. It's a perfect white rose, but it doesn't last long in a vase. Poof, it's gone, as is a dear, sweet child to the next phase of his/her life.
5) The last is another "The Pilgrim."

Happy Birthday Robyn,

from all of us at the

Wild Onion.

We love you so much

and wish you a long, happy

and healthy life.

~

Much love,

"The Gang"

"Ohno" is trouble. You all know that. I've tried to explain "Mommy is single now and we don't have a whole hellofalotofmoney. I need some cooperation."

The boy pretends he's deaf.

"I buy the GOOD STUFF BUDDY!!! That's a dollar!"

Happy Sunday!!!

This has to be one of the most gorgeous days on the planet. Simply stunning here in La-La Land. The windows are all open, the birds are singing their little hearts out, the kitties are nutty as usual, T-Bone keeps smiling and life is beautiful.

Happy Easter

and

Happy Spring!!!

Much love,
Moi

P.S. I'm off to plant tomatoes over Newman and clean the pond. That boy would be so proud of Mama! I probably won't have to fertilize. Yup, I'm going to grow tomatoes right in the middle of the yard and on top of my darling Newman and my fish. As a single woman I realize I can do whatever the hell I want. Of course I'll take photos.

P.P.S. I arrived home to find every single cabinet door open in the kitchen. Yes upper and lower. Every single one. "Baby," has recently learned how to open doors and while I'm feeding ferals at the park, can't help but amuse the peeps. She learned from Newman actually. Newman was the best and strongest "door opener" alive and Baby would sit and watch him. Thanks Newman! Mommy needs this like a freakin' hole in the head.

;)

Life is often funny. I was just at the market. I'm sure I gave the cashier a $20, but got change for a $10. What to do? I don't know. The wait was worth it. I met Mrs. Webber, oh and the couple in front of her and a woman behind me. The store was very busy and the lines long. The woman in front of us looked single, but then a guy came along. He looked like a cashier. We were all hopeful "3's a crowd." Nope. Just her husband. I cracked a joke and we all started to laugh, then believe it or not, we were saved by a guy who said "Next person in line." We couldn't believe our luck and and ran to the next stall! Seriously. Laughing all the way. The woman in front of me said "Are you a lucky charm?" Yup, that's me. Our line was a hoot. Our cashier too. The woman in front of me had a beautiful bouquet of lilies. I said "Are those for you?" She replied "Yup, I think I'm special." I replied "When I had money I thought I was too!" We talked about the economy, retirement, etc. We laughed and nearly cried. We're all struggling in some way. It's awful really. She told me she was buying them to remember better times. When her bill rang up, the clerk said "Thank you Mrs. Weber." We'd been talking the whole time and I said "Have a beautiful life Mrs. Weber." We hugged a long, long time. We'll never see one another again, but we'll never forget one another. I'm sure of that. Her perfume still lingers on my shirt. And the couple in front of us? They matter too. And the woman behind me, she matters as well. For some reason we were all meant to meet in line in Safeway. What a beautiful life.

There's always a new day.

~

P.S. I love you Newman

Swear to God...true Christmas stories!

I was driving back from the park on Hwy 80 just before Christmas and dippy in the patrol car was holding everyone at 65 in the fast lane. He wasn't from this county. He was from Nevada County. So Red Car thought he had no jurisdiction. "Helloooooooooooo Stupid!" I had to take photos because it was just too funny to watch. Red Car thought he could pass "Mr. Big." Red Car had no idea that if you're an officer in CA, it doesn't matter what freakin' county you reside. You still have jurisdiction. Idiot! He tried to pass Mr. Big. No go. Mr. Big pulled up along side and swerved into Red Car's lane to slow him down. Really. I'm not kidding. He swerved in front of Red Car!

I actually said outloud, "Don't do that crap in front of my car" and pulled into the 3rd lane to avoid anything landing on "Black Beauty." Obviously, Mr. Big was the winner. Red Car is well behind me. Yes. I'm still going 65 cuz ya just gotta keep up with a patrol officer. Even if he is from Nevada County. Damn, that man had some goooooooooonads.

~

One of the funniest moments at Christmas happened while I was at Target buying paper towels. I don't have a photo, so just try to imagine. Trust me, it isn't hard! I bought my paper towels and was exiting the store behind an older couple. I heard the husband say "Where the hell's the exit?" A clerk was nearby and said "It's right there Sir, see, it says EXIT." Oh, I just knew what was about to come!!! He said to his wife "Did you hear that? I'm almost 80 and she thinks I'm f***&#g illiterate." His wife said "George, knock it off, it's Christmas."

~

Still too funny. Oh my God, please. Stuff like that kills me.

I was at the park a few weeks ago and upon exiting saw this. That's one big damn pole!

I'm at the entrance gate and about to exit the park after feeding the ferals, drive up the hill, over the bridge and get on the freeway. I had to stop because my dad was a logger and owned a saw mill. I have profound respect for wood and logs. And I love my dad. He used to haul logs to Canada. Why? I have no idea. Why would Canada need NY logs? Really. Why? Think about that. Why? Canada doesn't have enough trees?

~

The guys were all laughing as I took photos, but I didn't care. When I was done I walked straight up to them and shook every hand. The guy in orange said "You'll have a story to tell." I replied "Oh you bet I will." I told them about my dad and they realized why I'd stopped. Yes, that must have been an amazing tree. I didn't tell them I could probably drive that rig right out of there!!! Why burst their bubble? Women are often underestimated!!!

Early morning. Leah, this is for you and your family. Yes, I do actually light a candle every single day. XO

~

With much love,

Me

Moanin' - Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers - 1958 Blue Note Records

"Ohno" so tired,

nodding off...just like me!

Those who know me know I never take "me time." Never. I have so many who depend on me I run till I'm beyond exhaustion. This past week I felt like "Ohno," far beyond exhausted and realized if I didn't stop I might die. Honestly. And that scared the hell out of me. So I removed posts to protect my family's privacy and closed down. Not because I don't love all of you very, very much, but because I love all of you SO much. I need to find "me" again. Doing so will help me find you. I don't know if that makes sense. It does me. What I do every day is taxing. It takes a massive tole, and in addition I'm dealing with very serious personal issues, so I've decided to take a different approach to connecting with all of you. Let's just call it "Music Therapy!" Unfortunately I can't connect like most of you to video, so there are no photos. Perhaps next time!!! Please take time to click and peek. I hope you enjoy because I made an effort dammit/damit!

Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrixa8mKcF8

Lee Morgan's Band: The Sidewinder.

Lee Morgan played trumpet for Art Blakey & the Jazz Messengers. Morgan was killed at age 33 while performing at a club in NYC.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wrp94IU3quI

This is Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers tribute to trumpter Clifford Brown, who had just died recently in a car accident at age 32 (?). Brown was Lee Morgan's idol; again, Morgan was playing trumpet in this piece.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDbrxLz20JY&feature=related

Next times, the Modern Jazz Quartet. Yes, I'll still post about flowers, kitties and my wacky life!!!

XO