Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Thank you one and all for your amazing comments on the previous post. Your love and support means the world to me. I wanted to delete, delete, delete, but your beautiful words helped me realize it's okay to be in pain and confused. And most importantly, it's important to share both good times and bad. I love you guys/gals.
I'll respond to the last three comments when I finish this. Right now I just need to sit and not think too hard because my brain feels very tired and heavy. I didn't sleep well as you're all aware and today has been insane (there's your answer Leah!), but I swear to God I have the funniest story. I'll get to that, but first, the drawing. I did it a few years ago while working on a project for a client. It just flowed from my pencil and when I was done I realized I'd drawn myself. And yes, in my black dress and sling backs (way before the Wild Onion)!!! It was a doodle, so I didn't consider paper quality (it's done on printer paper!) or commercial value, etc., but when it was done, I liked it and decided to have high end limited edition prints made on watercolor paper that I would then hand color/paint. The drawing sits, along with many others, waiting to go the the printer. I was paging through hundreds of photos for this post and for some reason stopped at this one. I was in a difference space 2-3 years ago. I felt lighter, less burdened, so perhaps that's why I selected it. The photo is horrible because it was never meant to be published, it was simply taken to keep a record of my work, so forgive the poor quality. I think I also selected it because it represents what I've failed to do over the past few years. And that has to change. I asked myself, "Self, are you a Blogger or are you an artist?" The answer is obvious. I have to make some changes because there are only 24 hours in a day and I can't fit everything in. I'm an artist. I also want to stop drinking wine because it feels like a crutch. It isn't a problem, but it's getting in my way. I'm not sure how to stop, but if any of you have a suggestion, please feel free to enlighten me.
Now some of you might have noticed all the shopping bags in the drawing and you know I'm not a shopper. HATE shopping! The client I was working for wanted a shopping theme for her illustrations, so somehow it worked it's way into my personal doodle. And RC, did you notice my pearl earrings and braclet!!?? Oh, and you guys aren't aware I love topiary and also classical urns. It's obviously a very personal drawing. And of course I'm reaching for a rose. I might add, I'm not that tall, my legs not that long and honestly, I don't think my waist is that small.
Now for the funny story. I got a call from Rob last night (he's staying at his Mom's (that's another story)) informing me the Mercedes had to stay at the shop and I would needed to rent a car in the morning. WTF!!!! He said, the rental agency would pick me up at the house, I simply had to call in the morning. WTF!!! He knows what my mornings are like. THEY'RE INSANE. I said "Robert, how in the hell am I supposed to fit that in?" He replied, "You'll just have to." I couldn't laugh, I couldn't cry, I simply felt numb. Sat down at the computer and wrote the previous post, then went to the sofa and passed out from absolute exhaustion. Woke up a few hours later, fed everyone (late), emptied the diswasher, did the rest of the laundry, cleaned up, etc.. Then I remembered the post and the car rental. I wondered if I'd dreamed them? I realized I hadn't and started to cry about the car, then rushed to the computer to delete my post before anyone saw it!!! What I discovered of course was beyond beautiful, so I spent the wee hours of the morn responding to all of you. Obviously I didn't sleep again. Rushed around this morning as usual, got everything done on time and if I'd had the Mercedes would have been at the park on time. But I didn't, so called the rental car agency and they sent a driver. She was a sweetie and off we flew to rent a car. I left the front yard sprinklers on because I thought I'd be back within 30 minutes to pick up my supplies for the park. Nope! Was in the process of renting the car and asked for my license. Wow, guess what? My license expired on my birthday! Who knew? Who looks at a license? I said "But I can still rent the car, right?" Reply, "No." I could see my ferals waiting for me. I was now 30 minutes late. I said "I have to feed ferals at Discovery Park, they're waiting for me. I NEED this car. Can't you just overlook this?" The reply, "No." I felt a panic you can not imagine and then she said "I'll take you to the DMV." I said "ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!??? THAT COULD TAKE A LONG TIME!!!" The budget didn't pass in CA until a few days ago and the DMV has been one of the most insane places to hang out, but she was game, so off we went. Honestly, I couldn't believe it. Here's what happened.
Get to DMV ~ place was a freakin' mad house, but the first line very, very short. Talk to the clerk and told her:
"I'm trying to rent a car. My license expired. Didn't know. The rental agency brought me here. Any way to expedite this? She looked at me and gave me a big smile. Then gave me a number, form and pen and said "just go over there and fill it out." I did what I was told. Got done then said "Now what?" She replied "Go over there and wait to be called." I looked at the sea of people and almost started to cry. I had to wade through all of them?!!??!!!??? NO, NO, NO. I asked before we parted, "Do I have to have a photo taken?" Reply, "Yes." My worst nightmare. I stood and waited and with all the numbers and letters being called realized my R4001 was right behind R4000 and that number had been called upon my arrival at the people pool. I was next!!! Wow, should take about 5 minutes. Okay, it took about 15-20 for R4000 to get his or her ass out of my space at check point 11, but when my number was called I let out an audible "HEY...THAT'S ME!!!" And then met my clerk. She wasn't very nice at first, but you know me. I have a way with people. Told her my story and she laughed. Asked her if I had to get a photo. She replied "Yes, of course." I said "LOOK AT ME!!! I've been blogging all night, cried, am going through menopause, I'm puffy, I'm exhausted and I didn't shower. Can I leave my hat on?" She replied "We don't allow pink." We both started to laugh and she said "NO, OF COURSE YOU CAN'T KEEP THE HAT ON!!!" I asked "Can I return to have the photo retaken?" She said "Yup, but for a fee." I asked "What's the fee?" She replied "$22.00." I said "Okay, I'll do it!" She said "You didn't give the color of your hair." I replied "Oh, that's because I'm in denial." She replied "Remove your baseball cap." I said "I don't have to, I'm grey." She replied "Remove your baseball cap...yup, you're grey." Bitch. "Okay, that $28.00. How would you like to pay?" I replied "Credit." She replied, "We don't accept credit cards, just debit or cash." I said, "Are you nuts, everyone accepts credit!!! I left the house without my debit card and don't carry cash, what am I supposed to do, I need this license!!!!" She replied "Isn't this credit card also a debit card?" "NO, it's not!" And then I saw some money sticking out of my wallet, "Wait, I think I have something!!!" $40.00!!! My luckest freakin' day on this planet!!! I paid the bill and she said "You're being issued a temporary license and you don't have to have your photo taken today. When would you like to return to have it taken?" I replied "Friday, Monday, I don't care, any day but today." She said "Well let's make an appointment, and I don't have one till October 11th." "Thank you God!!!" She started to laugh. I said "You know what you are, don't you?" She just laughed harder. I left, but couldn't find my ride. Looked every where. Went outside for the 3rd time and stood by the bike racks and some young 20 something handsome guy said "Can't find your car?" I said "No, can't find my date." And then out she walked (she's gorgeous) and I could see his eyes just light up. Yup, thought we were a couple!!! Guys. It was sorta like an IV/Just Bob/Walker moment!!! I laughed and gave him the thumbs up. Why waste a man's dream.


And yes, that's my life in a nutshell.

P.S. RC, Leah and IV, I answered your comments down below.


Kookaburra said...

G'day SUZE,

This is what we all love about you. Who else would think of writing about their day at DMV and make it fun and interesting to boot.

You rock, girl.

Mark. XOX

just bob said...

So did you get the rental car? And really Suzanne, did you tell the people at the DMV that you are a Blottie? They have a special express line for Blotties.

Suzanne said...


Thanks honey. What a day. I'm exhausted now have to feed the wee ones, so gotta boogie. Is life ever simple? Thanks so much for the laugh and boost of confidence. I love you my dear man.

You rock, man!!! XOXOXOXOXOXO

Suzanne said...

I did get the rental car! It's nice. And no, didn't realize that Blottie would get me through the maze of stupid. But will next time. I was 3 hours late to the park and my kitties forgave me. Now I have to think of something special for the lovely woman who took me to the DMV and her office. I couldn't believe the generosity. Really. Only in California. You're an executive. What should I do? What would you want? And NO, it can't be over $50. I'm cheap.

Robyn said...

YOu know I love you...even if you are thinking the worst with those horses! BUT...I have to say those horses are sitting pretty! You should see the accomadations they are in....WOW! And all the love they get from us (joe public), and they rides back to their working ranches!
I have to say...after listening to the MC for this show. I can tell you I was in tears. Did you know that once the mechanical age came about (around the 1940's) they loaded up these beautiful animals on flat beds and took them to the slaughter. Not 100's but thousands! They almost became exctint. Can you beleive that?! How horrible! He went on to say if it wasn't for the Amish,Danish (are incredible breedersm because they cherish their animals) draft horses would no longer roam in the united states. There I sat in the stands with tears just flowing! I can't even imagine. These beautiful gentle gaints.

And for the pulls, Suze. You should have seen these horses they knew they were going to pull...they were so fired up! They wanted to pull! Its like how dogs know they have a job to do. My boy loves having his pack around (me and jim) and once you had my nephews and niece into the mix, he really shows his colors. He will herd the smallest in our family, stand guard, lick their faces when they begin to cry. But they can not and will not leave his sight!

Its the same for these draft horses they KNOW their job. And they love it! It was beautiful to hear the owners of these great gaints talk with such love in their voices. Suze...you would have loved it! I even feed treats to the horses. But animals naturally are drawn to me! They know I will love them! There were 2 big boys who just knew. Kept nodging me and I would stand there for like 20 minutes scratching his ears of under his chin,feed him apple halves! He was in love! And his friend would pull on my shirt to get me back over to him! They love the affection, due to their owners always touching them and grooming them! It is a lot of hard work to see that these beautiful animals are well cared for! And these were some of the best!
So no worries...you know me if I thought any harm I would have peta/animal control up there in a hot damn minute! I don't and won't stand for cruelty!
I love you! And yes I am having more good days then bad!
talk soon!

Suzanne said...

Rpbum. aka Robyn,

It's after 1:30. What the f*** am I doing up? God, I think I'm going nuts.

Honey, thanks for taking the time to write. I think I commented just to get your mind off what's ailing you. Kinda sneaky, but look, it worked!!!!! And I had a feeling the horses are taken good care of, but you reminded me in such a beautiful way. Thank you for taking the time and making an effort. I have a really big smile on my face. I love you baby. Really, I do.

Honesty, I though the event you attended was rather remarkable. You two do the most amazing things!!! And I know how dearly you love animals, so know you wouldn't attend anything stupid. But you know me. I always worry about animals. I'm sorta wacky that way. I have to be more like IV encouraged and never assume anything. I'm going to really try from now on. I'm turning over a new leaf (hummmmmmm, or is that leave?). Ahhhhhhhhhhh, who gives a crap. It's not like the grammar police are reading this.

You know what stood out in my mind? I know you know. The sentence about the industrial age and work horses being taken to the slaughter house. Stuff like that kills me. I'll never get that image out of this brain. You know that. Thank's for the reminder. Oh and Glacier herding the kids!!! Now that's just funny. Yup, he has a job and he's very good at it!

I love you baby. Thanks for writing such a wonderful post and thanks too for coming here to defend it. You're a remarkable woman and you know I love you to bits. Thanks for loving animals the way you do. Come here you. *Suze is seen giving Robyn the biggest hug on the planted, then planting a sloppy one on her cheek.*


Suzanne said...

So if I give a big hug on the "planted," does that mean I'm still on the "planet?"

Anonymous said...


Go easy on yourself. You are priceless. Treat yourself like you do your art.


just bob said...

Blottie... I gave this one some thought. Why don't you get the rental car lady a teddy bear. Something cool and not too expensive. Afterall, don't all ladies like to get stuffed animals from their "dates"?

tanyaa said...

I looked into your site.The story was very nice and the pictures are looking so good...
Viral Marketing

Anonymous said...