I WANT SYMPATHY!!!

No, no photo today folks. Why because I just came into the house through the f****** window. Why? Because I locked myself out. I threw all my crap down in the kitchen and here I sit. Why? Because if I don't write this I'm going to kill someone.

Yes, this is a true story. I brilliantly preplanned in the event I locked myself out. Unfortunately the window I made available is over a climbing rose. You try putting the damn ladder over that thing. Jeasus Christ. Here, let me start at the beginning.

I was running a tad late this morning because I was up all night trying to figure out who the hell Anon #69 is. Got a call from Comcast informing me they'd be here in a few hours. What? I said "Absolutely not!" I had no idea they were coming and I didn't want them here. Visit rearranged for Dec. 3rd. Called Rob at Mom's house (he no longer lives here) and said "Hey dude, Comcast called" and he informed me he's coming in a few hours. Really? Well let me inform you he isn't coming mister. Next time you set up an appointment for my house, let me know before they're scheduled to arrive in 2 hours. Was I pissed? Oh, you bet. Did Rob win? No. Would he have won? No. I have my limits. I'm not going to be told two hours before someone shows up that their showing up, unless it's family.

Okay, so to secure the house I locked the door. I NEVER LOCK THE DOOR because I have T-Bone and he'd never let anyone hurt a single soul in this house. So why bother with security? But I was concerned Comcast might show up and just walk in. So I locked the damn door. Moron. Let the journey begin.

I arrived at the park and I have two kitties who walk between my legs. I love them to death, but always say "Please don't trip me!" Well today I was tripped. I didn't even see it coming. But I do remember eating dirt. I went down like a ton of bricks. My younger brother had a horrible 4-wheeler accident a few years ago and said to me, "Sue, I've never tasted so much dirt." I hear ya brotha!!! Cuz today I did too. My head just plowed into soil. There were two bikers near my car who witness the whole ordeal and one said, "Honey, are you okay?" I spit out some sod and said "No, I'm in pain, but I think I'll survive." My tooth went though my lip and there was an enormouse cut just below my nose. I held paper towels to it and knew I'd be okay. But other stuff hurt. My head hurt especially. I got in the car, removed my cap and looked in the mirror. Oh Dear Lord!!! Okay, the pink caps a gonner. Too much blood to remove. I have one hell of a nasty gash on my forehead. It's on the left side. My horrible boner from last week's trip over the kitty carriers in on the right side. What? I look like an idiot. And I might add, the red mark is in the shape of the plastic container I fell on. Shut up.

Oh, but what hurts most? My right calf. It's already purple. Who knows what the hell it hit, but oh trust me, it hit something. It's huge and ugly. It hurts.

I arrived home and tried to open the door. Couldn't find the key. Emptied the contents of my purse on the front porch. Wow, lip gloss, haven't seen that in weeks. No keys. went through my Discovery Park bag. No keys. Hummmmmm. Went to window. Noticed rose bush. Damn. Never considered rose bush. Got ladder. Climbed through window to T-Bones absolute bliss!!! He went insane with happiness!!! "Hi Mommy!!!
"Hello yourself damit." Went to front door to get items left on porch. Hummmmmmmm...locked the deadbolt. Hummmmmmmmmmm. Climbed back through window, went to front porch to retrieve items.

I'm sitting here writing this because if I don't, I swear, I'm going to kill somebody.