Happy Thanksgiving!!!

What? You think this house is perfection? Think again. This is the kitchen table, not the dining room table a few years ago. We were having a quiet dinner with Rob's mom , so thought the breakfast room would be lovely. Mickey thought that was a brilliant idea too! That's him on his dad's plate!!!

I have to tell you something so funny, I'm here because of course I love all of you and want to say hello, but also because I'm cooking a turkey and my wait on Butterball for a "Home Economist" was so freakin' long I couldn't stand it another minute, so thought I'd share the joy. Yes, I'm cooking a turkey. I told Rob years ago, "This is my last one!" And I meant it. Then we adopted T-Bone and he had allergies. He eats lots of ground turkey and guess what? I was fortunate enough to find LOTS of whole turkey on sale this year so bought something like 5!!! With ground turkey hovering around $6/lb, a thirteen to fifteen pound beauty sounded like a bargin. Hummmmmmmm. It's a lot of work to empty my refrigerator of all that dead fowl. So today of course I was just planning to prepare one for T-Bone, but ended up preparing it for the whole family. Why? Because I'm a moron and because I have beautiful memories of Thanksgiving.

I had the time calculated perfectly: start at 450, go to 350 immediately, she's stuffed, she weights 13.54 lbs, so that means she'll cook for.................? She'll cook for, what? I don't know! What will she cook for? I can't find that little scrap of paper I wrote all the info on under all the crap on the counters that seems to have accumulated since returning from the park. Hummmmmmm. What's a gal to do? Go back to "The Joy of Sex," I mean "Cooking," or to The Food Network and recalculate all the numbers, or just call the 800 number for Butterball, even though my cheap hens wouldn't have met Butterball's standards. Yup, called Butterball!!! One problem. Everyone's calling Butterball. And yes, I'm aware that I should know the internal temp when roasting a stuffed turkey. Unfortunately the one recommended by The Food Network and my instant read thermometer are different and I had TFN's written on my little slip of paper. So here I sit on my blog because I don't feel like going back to The Food Network and doing it all again. I'm tired after making so many side dishes and cleaning up a gazillions times (oh, and I still have to make a Pumpkin Cheesecake (but it's pretty simple). Okay, I'm off. Wish me luck!

Love you all and Happy Thanksgiving.

XO Suze

P.S. I didn't have time to read previous comment or visit favorite blogs the past few days, but will and promise to say "Hey," so look for God sakes!!!

Lessons...

~My darling Mickey helping in the studio~

I was in Walmart two days ago selecting fabric for the kitties. I'm making them little tush pads. Yes, I do stuff like that. There was a little girl crying in the next isle and I just wanted to hug her because her demand was really quite simple. She just wanted to get out of the cart and look around, but her mother was cruel and said, before smacking her, "If you don't shut up I'll beat you right here." It took less than a second to get to the next isle. Those of you who know me know I would come to a childs rescue in an instant. I informed the mother that if I heard that again I'd call 911. She told me to "f*** o**." I informed her she wasn't allowed to disrespect me like she did her child because all I had to do was dial three simple numbers and she could give her sob story to a cop. She looked at me a good long time, as if to say "get out of my face." I didn't move. I want to know why a child is hit to stop him or her from crying. Like that is a logical solution. I looked at that beautiful child and knew she understood why I was there. I told the mother before leaving "You don't deserve your daughter." And I meant it. I wasn't blessed with children and often wonder why idiots are. If she speaks to her daughter like that in public, what does she do at home. It made me sick.
~
I'm writing this because on the way to the park this morning I was feeling a bit low. I'm very sore from my tripping accident yesterday. I look like crap. I feel like crap. And every hour something new hurts. I thought about what it must be like to be a battered woman or child. How it must hurt like this all the time. I'm going to trip over my cat probably once in my life and feel this way, but abused children and women deal with these sorts of bruises, cuts, aches and pains on a constant basis. My heart just broke for them. My pain will go away in a few days and be a distant, funny memory, but how many abused woman and children can say that?
~
Why am I writing this? I don't know. Perhaps because people who say they love you can often hurt you and I wonder why. Being all battered and bruised from a careless kitty accident helped me feel the pain of people who are suffering in ways I can only imagine. I'm a lucky woman. I have a good life and even if I'm left with scars from my fall, that's all I'll be left with...a big old chuck out of my forehead and a nice little reminder above my lip. I'm lucky because I don't have to deal with stupid stuff. I think about that child and hope she grows up to be a strong woman despite being abused by her mother. And yes, she is an abusive mother and yes, that is my definition of abuse. I dearly hope that before that woman hits her daughter again, she sees my face and stops.

XO Suze

P.S. I know that a number of my blogging friends with children believe in corporal punishment, but know I don't, so your take on my lovely meeting with my Walmart friend is probably different. Please feel free to express yourself. I promise not to be harsh or judgemental. This was a valuable lesson for me and I'm willing to lean more. I love learning. For instance, I learned that dirt tastes like, well...dirt!

I WANT SYMPATHY!!!

No, no photo today folks. Why because I just came into the house through the f****** window. Why? Because I locked myself out. I threw all my crap down in the kitchen and here I sit. Why? Because if I don't write this I'm going to kill someone.

Yes, this is a true story. I brilliantly preplanned in the event I locked myself out. Unfortunately the window I made available is over a climbing rose. You try putting the damn ladder over that thing. Jeasus Christ. Here, let me start at the beginning.

I was running a tad late this morning because I was up all night trying to figure out who the hell Anon #69 is. Got a call from Comcast informing me they'd be here in a few hours. What? I said "Absolutely not!" I had no idea they were coming and I didn't want them here. Visit rearranged for Dec. 3rd. Called Rob at Mom's house (he no longer lives here) and said "Hey dude, Comcast called" and he informed me he's coming in a few hours. Really? Well let me inform you he isn't coming mister. Next time you set up an appointment for my house, let me know before they're scheduled to arrive in 2 hours. Was I pissed? Oh, you bet. Did Rob win? No. Would he have won? No. I have my limits. I'm not going to be told two hours before someone shows up that their showing up, unless it's family.

Okay, so to secure the house I locked the door. I NEVER LOCK THE DOOR because I have T-Bone and he'd never let anyone hurt a single soul in this house. So why bother with security? But I was concerned Comcast might show up and just walk in. So I locked the damn door. Moron. Let the journey begin.

I arrived at the park and I have two kitties who walk between my legs. I love them to death, but always say "Please don't trip me!" Well today I was tripped. I didn't even see it coming. But I do remember eating dirt. I went down like a ton of bricks. My younger brother had a horrible 4-wheeler accident a few years ago and said to me, "Sue, I've never tasted so much dirt." I hear ya brotha!!! Cuz today I did too. My head just plowed into soil. There were two bikers near my car who witness the whole ordeal and one said, "Honey, are you okay?" I spit out some sod and said "No, I'm in pain, but I think I'll survive." My tooth went though my lip and there was an enormouse cut just below my nose. I held paper towels to it and knew I'd be okay. But other stuff hurt. My head hurt especially. I got in the car, removed my cap and looked in the mirror. Oh Dear Lord!!! Okay, the pink caps a gonner. Too much blood to remove. I have one hell of a nasty gash on my forehead. It's on the left side. My horrible boner from last week's trip over the kitty carriers in on the right side. What? I look like an idiot. And I might add, the red mark is in the shape of the plastic container I fell on. Shut up.

Oh, but what hurts most? My right calf. It's already purple. Who knows what the hell it hit, but oh trust me, it hit something. It's huge and ugly. It hurts.

I arrived home and tried to open the door. Couldn't find the key. Emptied the contents of my purse on the front porch. Wow, lip gloss, haven't seen that in weeks. No keys. went through my Discovery Park bag. No keys. Hummmmmm. Went to window. Noticed rose bush. Damn. Never considered rose bush. Got ladder. Climbed through window to T-Bones absolute bliss!!! He went insane with happiness!!! "Hi Mommy!!!
"Hello yourself damit." Went to front door to get items left on porch. Hummmmmmmm...locked the deadbolt. Hummmmmmmmmmm. Climbed back through window, went to front porch to retrieve items.

I'm sitting here writing this because if I don't, I swear, I'm going to kill somebody.

Life...

I know. I rarely post photos of myself. Well here you go. That's my pink baseball cap. I had to retire it last week and put on a new pink one I hate. The old one was fraying (as you can see), but just the perfect shade of pink after a gazillion washes! Soft too. Perfection. I was on my way to the park in this photo and an odd photo because my hair is down. I almost always have it in a pony tail. Hummmm.

Self Portrait #2! I was on kitty pee patrol and saw this reflection in the family room sliders. Artistically, I thought it was interesting. My professors would be proud.

I let some of the kitties out yesterday. Sweet Pea included. What a freakin' disaster!!! I was up all night with worry. Newman didn't come in until around 2 am when I saw his ass in one of Hopper's kitty beds and grabbed him, and poor Sweet Pea stayed out all night. On the roof. He cried and cried and cried, but what was I to do? He wouldn't let me rescue him. Oh trust me, I was on the ladder at 1 am doing my best. Also at 3 am. At around 5 am I was finally able to save his sorry a**! I climbed the ladder, put food next to the edge of the roof and when he came crying for it I grabbed him!!! Yup. I have the scratches all over my neck, chest and back to prove it!!

Who let in the clowns? Phatty Foo Foo sleeping. (UPDATE: I was wondering why Phatty looked so odd. Has anyone figured it out? I forgot to flip the photo before posting it!!! Hey, be quiet. Like you've never pulled a stupid before!)

Rusty getting some Phatty Foo Foo love.

Sage playing the roll of the idiot!

And the worst of the bunch. Ohno! The cat from hell!

Oh, then there's these two. Sniper Nerd #1 and #2. I'm in green. That's Kylie in red!!! Yup, got this award from CSI and treasure the crap out of it!!! (UPDATE: THAT'S NOT REALLY US!!! JUST SOME RANDOM CHICKS CSI FOUND ON THE INTERNET .)

My darling Hillary. She isn't coming back. My life seems insane at the moment, so I laugh a lot.

Nor are her wee ones.

I've learned this past month that life is totally unpredictable. Also painful. Laughter helps. Thank God I can still laugh.

Love you all,

Suze

Pink Floyd

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Qt6b8B5Bd4
I have no idea how to post a video. This is the best I can do. I grew up with Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin, Yes, etc. For some reason I've heard this Pink Floyd song all day. Probably for a good reason. It's a great video. Rob saw them live at Madison Square Gardens way back in the mid 70's. Wow. I only wish I could have been that lucky. For those of you who love classic rock, this is a gem. Brian and Robyn, I know you'll love this.

XO

Comments are not necessary...

This is between me and Hillary. Where am I supposed to put you?

My heart is just broken and I don't know where to put you. You took #6 with you and left me with 5. I have only 2. Every day I was left with less. The two that survive are the two I rescued. How could everything change in just a few weeks? They're beautiful you know. This has been a hard year. I will miss you every single day of my life. You did a good job sweetie. Honestly, you did. I love you so much and I'll see you in Heaven

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time OhNo was tiny and could fit in Rusty's hands. Now he's all big. Isn't it amazing how time flies? It's almost Christmas. Almost Thanksgiving. Almost a new year. Where did the time go? I look at this photo and it feels like yesterday, but it isn't. It's almost 2009. I vote in less that 48 hours and am so grateful I could just scream!!! Time moves on, and it should. But thank God I get to keep memories in photos.

I remember too how I use to have so many comments I couldn't keep up. Now I don't. I'm not sure if it's because I said something or because I accidently deleted my blog roll. I just notice my comments are few. I can almost keep up with 10! Hummmmmmmmm. It's funny how life can change in a year.

XO

P.S. If you have time, please visit Robyn's blog . I don't have the link, but get there via IV or some other dear friend. You won't regret it. Oh, and turn on the sound.

And also, I'm sure you noticed, I stopped writing for everyone else and started writing for me. This is a very personal journey and a lot's change in a year. A lot. I'm probably going to end this blog in the next few months. Not because I don't love all of you, but because I have to make a living.

I remember...

It's blurry, but that's okay. I lost this darling boy along with his mom, Hillary. Life is often so difficult. You all know me by now. I struggle with life. I was at the park today and just lost it. I couldn't stop crying. It was raining and I was dealing with wee ones who were very hungry and trying desperately to figure out why life is so complicated. I didn't find the answer. Frankly, I don't think I ever will. I have five babies who need a mom and a home. The journey begins.

~

My tummy growled. I realize I haven't eaten in over 48 hours. Wow. I have so much on my mind I don't eat. That's not a good thing.