As the days go by...

The man. Maestro.

California nights.

California days.

Progress.

Ohno. Trouble.

Primed, but not painted. Yes, of course I have goals!

This is what they pulled out of that HUGE stack. *Suze rolls eyes in head.*

Feathers. I have a HUGE stash. Huge. I love fealthers.

A few. Hawk feathers. You see those?

Baby. AKA, Trouble.

Heartbreak

Why don't I come back? Because it's heartbreaking.

Memories...

Yes, hate that yellow date thing, but can't seem to get rid of it. See that red dot on my right calf? You know what that's from? I returned from Denver one late evening. Mommy was standing at the door with the yellow light bulb on waiting for me to hug her. I ran across the yard only to find my dad had left an engine in my path. Yes. An entire engine. I remember screaming "OH MY GOD!!!" I had pain and the wound from hell. My doctor says it's an ingrown hair. Will need surgery! Ahhhhhhhhh, screw it. Sometimes when I shave I screw up and knick it. Which only makes it worse. Oh, and bigger! Family memories. Cherished.

Happiness...

My amazing sister Tammy on the far left. Her gorgeous daughter Monica then my new about to be niece in law Kayla. The rest I don't know. But I know the three I love. Tam, if you ever see this, I love you so. Tammy, you know. And Monica, if you read this, listening to Citizen Cope, Sideways. I love you both so much. Aunt Suzy XOXOXO

Some of the girls!

Amanda (my sister Laura's daugher), Des (my sister Janet's daughter) about to give birth to my family's first great grandchild, my darling mom, Alison (Laura's other daughter), Cailee (my sister Charlene's daughter), my beautiful niece Monica (Tammy's daughter), my wonderful future niece in law, Kayla, my amazing niece Valerie (Jan's other daughter). Just some of the crew!

I haven't been around. Why? Because I feel as if I've lost my voice. Writing here was so effortless, but after months on face book, using the least words possible, I feel as if I've lost me. It used to be so easy and now it's not. I miss all of you. I miss this place. The way it always felt so gentle. Like landing in a down pillow. I'll try to write more often if you start showing up again.

XO

I could say it...but I won't.

My darling Mickey...

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No, I'm not the brightest light bulb in the room. How do I set up a new PRIVATE BLOG!!! I can't figure it out for the life of me! If you want the sexy stuff...HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Leah, baby, I can't do this all on my own!!! :)

Just realized the two photo are together. Mickey, the day I rescued him at the vets. Then about a month later. Almost 10 years later, I still have him and love him with all my heart. One of the best kitties ever born. Sometimes you get so lucky. You know me. I'm grateful. A Maine Coon. Over 20 lbs. And awesome cat. Absolutely awesome. Stunning. Loving and beautiful. I'm a lucky woman.

I know I didn't keep you informed. I know. I'm sorry. This was like my 5th cast or something stupid. I went through 7 or 8. Lots and lots of trouble. Finally ended up in a soft cast again because I couldn't tolerate a hard one. Like Picasso...this was my Pink Phase! I liked it, but she lasted only about 2 days...

Rob's note the night he saw my pink cast!!!

The view from the kitchen window. The last day I saw those crystals. Ohno knocked the candle holder into the sink and killed it. Not much crystal left in this house!

Love you all. Thanks for your patience and friendship.

XO

A day in the life...

Hummmmmm. An older photo. Maestro with our tree. You know we no longer have the tree, but we still have Maestro!

I'm lucky. Do I realize that? Yes. Of course. Do I often feel as if I am? No. Of course not. Life is hard. But I look at my kitties and my dog and I know I'm so blessed. I go to the park every day to feed the ferals and I melt. I drive home on 80 looking at the snow on Tahoe. My life is blessed in so many ways. Those who know me best, know I question everything. That's just me.

Challenge: Only took about 20 minutes to get this photo!!!

TO ALL MY BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS AND FAMILY

BLESSED WITH WEE ONES...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Photo Challenge As Usual...

Here we go...photo roulette. This is what I got. A design for a cat bed. Yup, still love it. This was from, I think, 2005. Inside, a nice soft cushion. Heaven for a kittty. Just so you know I could not only make it, I could paint it. I'd use 1 x 6's. 1 x 4's would do quite nicely as well. The rose needs to be a bit more centered I see. That I can do with a chalk line! Such plans. Such plans... Could be a dog bed too!

Mickey

Hummmmmmmm. Why can I put a photo on my blog, but not on the Wild Onion? Not that I know what photo I'm selecting, but at least I'm getting one. And why am I still unable to see my photos? My computer has become a mystery and I'm not smart enough to figure it out. I guess that's why they invented "The Computer Guy." No, I'm not sexist...I actually have a computer guy.

XO

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...still just wingin' it with photos! Whatever comes up, comes up. This is your lucky day...it's not a naked one! This was probably taken in 2006 because we still have the 60 foot tree in the back yard. Yup, I'll always miss her.
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And yes, that's the first coat of primer. You all know how these walls suck up paint. And yes, I agree, the room looks like a wreck. It's supposed to...I'm painting. I wonder what that "patch" is for? Looks like I was testing the primer! LIKE I HAVEN'T PRIMED EVERY FEAKIN' ROOM IN THIS HOUSE! While you're looking around, would you mind straightening that lamp shade?

Bella

I swear to God, I never know what I'm going to get because with my new computer system (after having the virus removed) I deal with codes and just wing it!!! This is what I got!!! That's Bella on the fireplace mantel. "Baby, what the hell you doing up there?!!! And honey, don't touch that painting...it's worth a lot on money!!!"
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Bella and her brother Bijou came to me in a desperate time. They were both ferals and very ill kittens. They are so attached to me because I rescued them in their time of need. They stayed at the Vet's for nearly a week to recover then came home. They've never forgotten. They are two of the most brilliant cats I've ever known. Yes, it's true. She's part Siamese, so way, way, way too smart!!!

January 2010

Yes, for those of you reading my facebook and my blog, I'm using the same photos. I'm doing the best I can. The past weeks have been a struggle. I know you understand. I'll explain soon, I promise. Every day is a challenge and you know from experience how horribly I deal with pain. Thanks for all your love and support because it matters. I love you all. XO

Life's a journey...

A road less traveled...Nash, my feral.

I can't believe my life. It hurts yet it feels so beautiful. I'm so lucky yet in such pain.

Heartbroken...

R.I.P.

My baby brother died today.

I love you darling.

Welcome Home...

My blogging friends. Thanks. For waiting for me to wade through Face Book and find my way. It's been a journey. Why? I don't know. I guess maybe because I needed to feel something I hadn't in awhile. I did. High school friends helped me in so many ways, but now it's time to move on. To come home. To write like I write without much editing. To not worry about fitting something like 145 charaters in a freakin' little box. To just talk with ease. To relax among friends.

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You know it's funny. I only had one meltdown on fb in 6 months compared to my one every month here!!! That's funny. You would think the opposite. Nope. Only one and only just recently! Tired I think. Overwhelmed with the enormous weight of trying to get the yard back in shape in a short period, my responsibilities and my brother's accident (no, you don't know about that, but I'll tell you later).

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I've been so afraid to come back here. Afraid I'd forgotten how to write a complete sentence. Scared I wouldn't know what to say. How to tell the stories I love of everyday life. But I know now that you're all here, waiting, and so I feel completely at home. And so it's with so much ease that I write this post. You know my garden, my home, my animals and my life. When I write about being stressed about the garden, you understand. Honestly, I don't think I have to write a word. You just know. There is a comfort in that I can't even express.

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We've been through so much together and so I write this with much love and appreciation. Thanks for waiting for me to find my way.

Love you all,

Me XO

Back...

I know...isn't that blurry???!!! Hey, I don't have alot of options right now so just work with me! And yes, I know I've posted it before. Leave me alone. I'm doing the best I can! Had hoped to reload all the Dell software this weekend, now not so sure. Our TV went belly up yesterday. Called Comcast to fix it and was told it's "Not us." How dare they not be responsible. They control my internet, my phone, my tv. They can't fix a blown picture tube too? That's just damn irresponsible.

Whoops!!!

~UPDATE~

IT'S CECE'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!

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Hi baby. Happy Birthday. You know how deeply we love you. I can't access a photo. I just can't. You know what I would want for you, but I can't. We love you so. Thank you for your amazing friendship and love.