Saturday, October 3, 2009


Black beauty and I were driving up the freeway this morning on the way to the park. I hit the 80 to 5 split and there was a car right next to me. He didn't see me and started to pull into my lane. I swerved, layed on the horn then corrected and came back into my lane. It happened in an instant, but was in slow motion. I felt Black Beauty slide. Really slide. I don't think any other car would have survived what I did to her at 80 miles/hour. I feel lucky to be here tonight. She's a tank. My darling friend in Texas lost her niece to a similar accident in the past month.
I arrived at the park to find a wonderful homeless friend. He'd just stopped by to say hello, but I had a truck full of water bottles for him to recycle. We talked, laughed and had a nice chat while I fed the kitty and the skunks and birds at the first station. Then it was up the bike trail with Black Beauty to the second. You all know because of my broken ankle I'm allowed to take the car up the trail. I get some odd looks, but most people are generally very nice. They understand because they've seen me in a cast and crutches and now in my "boot!" I parked the car across from the path and a slew of cyclist past, waved and gave me the thumbs up. Then there was a couple who followed. Two kitties had come out to greet me on the trail and ran when the two cyclist approached. I laughed and then turned when the guy said "You contribute to that shit you know?" I've learned a lot in the past year. After what I'd just been through on the freeway and with the guy in the golf cart, I laughed and blew him off. He didn't like that, he turned around and said..."I'll come back, skin them and turn them into furry slippers."
This is a man who looks completely normal. The woman with him too. He has no idea who I am or what I do. He has no idea I've rescued tons, have everyone spay or neutered, they've all had the best vet care, great food, etc. This man knew nothing and that is what he said to me on this beautiful California morning. I didn't even look at him, I just gave him the finger. I'd do it again. Oh, you bet I'll see him again. I'll recognized him. He bikes almost every day. I thought about the lesson. What am Isupposed to learn from an ignorant middle aged man? His wife, girl friend, friend, lover, behaved as if he'd said nothing out of the ordinary,but I thought "What makes a human being that ugly?" What? This is probably a man that works in your office. Who you commicate with daily, but in private he is an ugly human being. How does someone get that way. And why?
I wouldn't trade a single moment of my life working with ferals at the park. Not a single moment. Ferals have taught me about grace, trust, patience, kindness, endurance, but also about absolute pain and heartbreak. I wouldn't change a single thing because as you all know, I've endured coyotes, storms, fire and very scary homeless guy moments. I've lived an amazing life and I wouldn't change a damn thing. So that guy? He doesn't phase me. And if he ever stops to "chat," I feel sorry for him already.


the walking man said...

We are rapidly becoming a society of the insane who think that everything someone does miles away from our lives has profound impact on said life. Maybe we need a strong dose of Valium in the water supply every month or two.

kylie said...

valium in the water, i like that idea!

Anonymous said...

You do get into some scrapes feeding the ferals. That was unpleasant, the cyclist's comment: but he cannot and never will understand the person that you are. I find it best not to expect much from people these days. You know what you do. Your readers here know what you do. The people who matter know what you do. Don't let him break your peace dear Suze x

otin said...

Do I have to worry about you 24/7?? All of these posts about you almost getting hurt, or actually getting hurt are making me nervous! Be careful! (even though it was not your fault) :)

Suzanne said...


True. And valium in the water supply might be the answer. That's a good one.

Am I insane as well! Why am I writing about him? ;)

Suzanne said...


Me too. I hope it comes to my neighborhood first. XO

Suzanne said...


I know, and I'm getting too old for this sort of stress. Thank you for your kind, thoughful words. They matter. I'm going to write your quote "Don't let someone break your peace" on a slip of paper and put it in the car. It will remind me to focus on the people who matter and to react differently in stressful situations.

Have a beautiful day dear, and thank you again.


Suzanne said...


You make me laugh. Now I'm worried about me!!!

I know I have to slow down while driving to and from the park. I drive way too fast, but I notice I drive faster on the way there than on the way back. I'm always rushing to get there, but after having been in the woods, petting the ferals, feeding the birds and skunks, being in nature, I exhale, get back in the car and behave better. Yesterday morning the near accident wasn't my fault, but it caused me to pause. I think an accident at 65 would turn out alot differently than one at 80. When I felt the car sliding out from under me I thought "Oh my God, is this it?" I really wasn't sure it could hold the road, but it did in an amazing way. I was lucky.

I keep telling all of you "I'm going to do things differently from now on." I'm trying. I really am, so don't worry because I feel as if I'm meeting fewer idiots and having fewer accidents! Things are looking up!

XO ;)

Karen ^..^ said...

I'm glad you were not hurt.

As for that totally ignorant man, Suzie, remember this always:

It's us against them.

You just met your counterpart in the life of balance. Be glad you are on your side and not his. Because we need all of US that we can get. Don't even acknowledge him in the future, he's not worth it. Don't let his hate rub off onto you, and don't worry that he'll do anything to the kitties. He's a coward. People like that don't normally act on their hateful thoughts unless we acknowledge them and feed their power. He doesn't really exist in your world, and try as he might to push his way in, he'll never exist there.

Thank God.

just bob said...

Hi Blottie

Suzanne said...


I love you. I do. You're right. You're absolutely, absolutely right. No attention in the future. You know I've only run into 4 people in over 2 years who have been unkind. 3 about the cats and one about the skunks. That's it. And this time I thought why even bother!!! I was still laughing at the cats being silly and just kept laughing when he said what he did and said "Whatever dude." And that pissed him off and he turned around and said the rest. I never even looked at him, I just kept walking across the bike path and I was still laughing. When he was done I flip him off, still not looking at him. I really felt like "Whatever dude." So see, I have learned something, but now I've learned more from you. I'll meet idiots at the park and pretend it's like Mute Monday on Blogger Land! I won't even speak. How's that for progress?! I've come a long way baby.

Whoops, forgot about the young Biologist who approached me that morning way over a year ago as I was about to get in my car. He was with the Army Corp of Engineers. Remember that one? God he was gorgeous! And then he opened his mouth and gave me all the stats on the number of birds killed by feral cats. I asked him what he was doing to control the feral population...anything? Anywhere? He said "Nothing." I said "Exactly, but I am, so you really don't have a leg to stand on." I wasn't rude or unkind, I just pointed out the obvious. And then I remember saying something about him being with the Army Corp of Engineers and how they were in the process of destroying miles and miles of habitat along the American River to plant new habitat, displacing thousands upon thousands of nesting native birds and animals who use the area to hunt and live. I remember the look on his face. It was priceless. And he was still gorgeous!!! We shook hands and that was that.

The almost accident. You know what honey, that was eye opening. I have premonitions and had one when I was leaving the driveway. I felt death and saw an accident, but I did feel that I was involved, just that I'd see something. Stuff like this happens alot, so I'm used to being aware of my surroundings. I speed, but I know what's around me at all times. I would actually have been a great race car driver. No joke. In my family my famous quote is "I'm so far ahead of you, I'm behind you." And it's true. I'm very aware when I'm driving, of EVERYTHING. On a busy Saturday morning there was no car ahead of me, behind me or to the right, so when I saw the guy about to come into my lane, I laid on the horn with my right hand and drove with my left. I'm right handed. I don't know how I did it, but I did and the guy swerved into my lane and as he did I realized it was the car in my premonition and I remember screaming "God please don't do this to me." And the feeling of the car sliding. It was as if I was on ice for a minute and then Black Beauty found her voice and saved me. I believe that. I could easily have died yesterday. I know that for sure. So when I met the prick at the park, there was a part of me that didn't even care. I was so grateful just to be there. As promised this morning on facebook, I drove the speed limit. I was late, but I drove the speed limit.

I love you so.

Anonymous said...