Thursday, July 23, 2009

I WON!!!

Yes, he's that handsome and he that's smart. I won because he entered me in a damn public radio contest. Who knew!!!??? I love men, don't get me wrong, but apparent love dead men more!!! Bach and Vivaldi. I couldn't live without either. Rob knows that, so he entered me a public radio contest to win free tickets to the Bach Festival in beautiful Carmel. I won. You bet your ass I did!!!
See that? I won.

I'm so shaken up I can't see straight.

Oh dear lord, I gotta look like the third photo when I attend? Now that's a damn joke, right? I'll have to get my sling backs off the disco ball at The Wild Onion.
XO

58 comments:

Abi said...

OH WOW! You lucky lucky lucky lucky lady!

Did I mention I think you're lucky!

I hope it's magical!

I wake up every morning to Classic FM (I'm sure you have a similar but different radio station) I would love to come with you! We could both dust off our shoes and spend several hours searching the dark crevices of our closets for something appropriate.... that's half the fun.....right :P

Who am I kidding, I don't care if you wear those rose covered PJ's I got you on Random Chick's blog... as long as you enjoy it :D

kylie said...

suze,
he loves you

and would you please show us what he looks like now. men improve with age

do something special with your precious metal hair, maybe wear a bra? you'll be a knockout. take notice of how many fellas notice a 50 year old

HAVE A BALL BABE

XX

and HAVE FUN!

kylie said...

oops, and have fun was meant to get deleted
now you'll think i have the memory of a goldfish or the intellect of a slug :)

the walking man said...

Throw in some Mozart and a touch of Handel and i am right there with you. But leave the sling backs on the disco ball, we got tickets they can't deny us entry because I am wearing jeans and a leather vest.

just bob said...

Barbara Bach?

Karen ^..^ said...

congratulations! This will be very good for you, so enjoy yourself!

I wish I could go with you, we'd have a total blast.

Have fun, darling.

Megan said...

Very cool. Carmel is awesome this time of year. Carmel + Bach = ultra cool.

Cece said...

How could you stay mad at a man that loves you that much? I just don't understand.

You are taking Rob with you to the concert, right?

Cece said...

Abi,
She is lucky in more ways than she realizes.


Sorry Suz,
I'm emotional today.

Leah said...

That is a very very nice prize.

Too bad I don't live closer and could hound you to take me as your date!

Are you going to take Rob?

Keep us posted.

xo

bindhiya said...

WOW!!!
WV saying unwan' is that means unwarn? i am getting tied of them too.. ha am just tied and sleep deprived.. :)
Cece is right.. He loves you..
I'll be back to talk more.. now i have to go grocery shopping.. oh i'll drive 25/hour so stay home :)

♥ & ((hugs))
bindi

Leah said...

Bindi, I like your braid!

Suzanne said...

Abi,

Thanks! I think I'm lucky too, but not today!!! I hopped in Black Beauty this morning to drive to the park and something felt odd. I looked around and sure enough, my stereo was gone. I looked around some more and nope, no stereo. I called Rob and said "Hon, did you take the stereo last night?" He started laughing and said "Are you nutty? Of course I didn't take the stereo." Someone sure took the stereo. The car was locked, but I accidently left the windows down a bit so it was easy to get in. At least whomever was rude enough to steal my stereo was kind enough to lock the car back up before leaving. Jerk.

I suppose I should call the police because fingerprints are probably every where. I just don't have the energy. I wonder if it's the same person who stole Shara's bike while she was visiting. It's probably the same person who stole my little baby duck too. What's next, my shrubs and trees? And to think, this is such a good neighborhood. Ha!

Abi, you are absolutely welcome to come to the concert with me. I don't have any "good" clothes, so no rummaging for me. I'm going to visit RC's and take a look at the pink pajamas!

XO

Suzanne said...

Kylie,

You crack me up. He looks the same. Rob doesn't age. Doesn't even has a single grey hair. Weights the same, still tan and fit, still handsome, still smart, can still knock the crap out of a tennis ball and a hockey puck. That's just Rob. It's as if the Aging Fairy is sprinkling special anti-aging dust all over him or something. Thank God he has developed a few wrinkles around his eyes in the past two years. I was so grateful when I saw them through my powerful telescope.

Yes darling. I know he loves me. And I love him. That will never change because we made a pretty amazing team for a very, very long time. Will it all work out in the end? I don't know. I'm not there yet. But I'll tell you something. It was so nice to have him here the other morning. I've been using his mom's car to drive to the park while Black Beauty was serviced (yes, that made me laugh too!), and I think it was Monday he had to come with me because I wasn't going to the park at 7:30am alone. We didn't talk much on the way to the park because I can be a stubborn bitch, but as we were getting back on the freeway to head home I said "You can just move over 4 lanes and get right in the fast lane, oh and by the way, we're heading east and if you stay in this lane it circles around and we'll be right back in Natomas in no time." He started to laugh. I miss his laughter most. We were a very, very funny family and his laugh makes me melt. He said "Suzy, I know where I'm going. I've driven this freeway a million times." And he was laughing. I said "Oh good then you know to follow the big green sign that says "Reno." Do me a favor and just follow the Big R in the fast lane please, sorta like looking for the Big W in "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World." Just keep heading East." And that was it, the man was in stitches. And then finally, after a year of misery he had me laughing so hard I could barely stop when he said "Sue, if you don't knock it off I'm going to hit the eject button and your ass is going to fly right out the door." I replied, "Does the rest of me get to go with it? If I go, DON'T FORGET TO LOOK FOR THE BIG R." And that in a nut shell is me and Rob. We had a blast on the way home. First time in a very, very long time. No one can make me laugh like Rob can. I'm half smart, but he's REALLY smart and man does he come up with good zingers. That's what I miss most. The laughter in this house. Oh man, I just started to cry. But you know what Kylie, maybe it's good to think and cry. I have to sort this mess out and remembering all the brilliant moments of our relationship is a start. This just made me think of Pink Floyd. I don't know if you're a fan of Pink Floyd, but there's a line in a song that reads "...remain constantly numb." I think that's what I've done to protect myself over this past year. This comment page has made me realize I have to figure things out. And quickly, because this is killing me.

Of course I'll wear a bra. You nutty? Underwear? No. You know me and my history with underwear. I HATE UNDERWEAR!!!! I'll also wear a black dress with high heel sling backs, pearl earing and perhaps a pearl necklace. I'll wash my hair and leave it down, and shave my arm pits. What? You think I'm completely tacky?!!!

There's hope for me yet. And yes darling, I'll have the time of my life. That's if Black Beauty makes it to Carmel. What? That's like 4 hours away doing 80!!! Maybe I'll take Bob cuz he's on the way. He needs a little culture and a good swift kick in the ass, but he seems like the sort of guy who polishes up pretty good. If he flunks out, there's RC. She'd be a kick ass date in that red dress from the cruise.

Love you darling and thank for making me think. Really hard.

XO

Suzanne said...

Kylie,

Do not insult goldfish or slugs.

;)

Suzanne said...

Walking Man,

I know. I hear ya brother!!! Mozart. Love that brilliant little guy. And Handel. Don't even get me started. And then, you know who else?! Beethoven. The Eroica. What is it? The 4th movement. Oh God, it's so beautiful. The list is long, isn't it? I have the tickets. You're a big guy, so what do you say we velcro the rest of the crew to you and you slide in under the radar with all of um. I can't take you without all of them. I can't. I can't pick. I'm a sissy that way. You're our only hope. Look, if I go in dressed to the hilt, the attendants won't even notice the baggage you're luggin' because all eyes will be on my pearls...oh, and probably my shoes, oh, and my tits because I'll finally be wearing a bra. Just give them the ticket and pretend you know what the hell you're doing. "

And baby, I can't go on a motorcycle. That would just screw up my hair. Okay, we'll drive seperately. Everyone can pile in my car, but then have to get velcroed to you. Okay. That's the plan.

XO ;)

Suzanne said...

Bob,

I love Barbara Bach. She's stunning. You on the other hand just crack me up. How in the hell were we all blessed with you. You are a funny, funny man.

XO

Suzanne said...

Karen,

If you can velcro yourself to The Walking Man, you're in like flin! What, do you think I would forget all of you? No, of course not. We're going together.

Baby, does my ass look to big in the sliming black dress?

XO

Suzanne said...

That should be "too," not "to."

Suzanne said...

Megan,

Carmel is insane this time of year. Carmel and Bach. That's just supid funny. Suze just died and went to Heaven. Oh, and might I remind you...I WON!!!!

;)

Suzanne said...

Cece,

You're killin' me and making me feel really, really, really, really guilty. Those of you who don't know Cece well don't understand she is a saint. Men love her. Women love her. Rob loves her to bits. Get out of my damn face woman!!!! With all due respect. You're killin' me!!! No, I'm not kidding. Oh, and honey, just show up on time and you can velcro yourself on The Walking Man and get into the concert free. Hopefully. I hope he has really strong legs. Oh, and hope you like Bach.

Of course I love you.
XO

Suzanne said...

I'm emotional today too. Come over here sweetie and let me give you a big old hug.

XO

Suzanne said...

Leah,

Why do you live in NY? Of course I'd take you. You joking!? I know you understand classical music. I have a plan. It's explained above. Work with me sista. You're about to go on another road trip.

"Leah adjust straw hat and ties shoes."

;)

Suzanne said...

Bindi, like Leah, I love your braid. Women who can braid can do a whole lotta otha stuff!!! I also like to grocery shop. Why? I don't know. I like the ritual. I could live in Paris and shop at the market every day. Seriously, I could. Why? Because I love to look at beautiful produce. As a vegetarian and and artist, color matters. Freshness matters. I could do it. And then I could come home and eat it.

I love you so much darling. Tons and tons,
Me

krystyna said...

I saw this BEAUTIFUL profile at Bindhi's place and I decided that I have to see - who is under that amazing profile?
Really fantastic job! I love it.
Perfect art as your beautiful soul is, Suzanne!
And this title "I WON" is so true!
You WON"!
The best gift is Rob!

Suzanne said...

Krystyna!!! Hi honey!!! I know I promise your mom so often I'll visit you. But I don't. Ever since I deleted my blog roll I've had such a hard time getting around. You just made me realize I have to stop making excuses. I do darling. I really do. I feel like a fool. Having you here is a gift and having you as a friend has been a gift. I'm sorry I've been such an idiot lately. I'm really, really sorry.

Thanks so much for the beautiful compliment. Does this mean I should keep this photo of the back of my head rather than replace it with the old one? That's too funny!!! Honey, that's just too funny. And just so you know, now that I have your link I'll click and visit. I'll also get you and your mom back up on my blog roll. Speaking of which, you're mom cracks me up. Honey can you believe what she's done on Blogger in such a short period? It blows me away. And she doesn't even speak English!!! She's way too smart for me and she's hilarious. Yes, I'm going to adopt her. You don't have to give up any rights, you just have to share. I love that woman!!!

Baby, welcome back and thank you for sticking with me. It means a great deal. I'll stop by.

Love you so much,
XO

Leah said...

Suzy, I actually cried when I read your comment above, about you and Rob. It's very unusual for me to cry when I'm just minding my own business reading comments, but that made me cry. It was so beautifully written, in a way an homage to a long marriage.

I wasn't going to join the chorus of voices saying, "can't you make it work?" because I don't know enough about what is going on between you and Rob, but when I read that, I thought suddenly, well...I'm not going to be a buttinsky, but it was beautiful and maybe love and laughter can go a long, long way to helping things.

Never mind, I think I'm getting emotional tonight too.

and p.s. you also made me laugh with your "work with me sister" comment.

krystyna said...

Thank you Suzanne for your sweet words. I am so happy when you visit me but don't wory if sometimes you are so busy. Time goes so far for me too and I still have this problem. And of course - back pain. We have to care about yourself too.
I love to came here and I do it very often even I don't write comments. Writing comment takes me more time than reading. Even with dictionary my writing is full of errors.
I love your "pen". I always read almost all your comments here.

Take care and be happy my dear friend!

Ps.
My mom likes her Laptop very much.
22 September is her 80th birthday.
Actually she finished her "book"/using blog/, something like - "Memorials". Of course in Polish. Hope she will show it at her birthday. I think it is very good job.

Suzanne said...

Leah, I love you so.

It's a long hard row to hoe. Hoe to row? What? That's how you say it. Right? I love that man to death, but something went terribly wrong and I went balistic. I don't know how it will all end, but time will tell. Is he a good guy? Of course he is. Do I love him. Of course I do. Can I forgive him? I don't know. Only time will tell. I look at my life this past year and I almost can't believe it. But it is what it is. I wouldn't wish the past year of my life on anyone. That's how hard it's been. How something so good could go so wrong, I don't know and I think that's what hurts most. Just trying to figure it out.

The fact you cried made me sad. I wouldn't want to do that to anyone. I'm sorry. We were a great love afair that went horribly wrong suddenly. It hurts so much there's no place to put it.

XO

Suzanne said...

Your mom kills me. I don't how she does what she does and you too. I love you very much darling. Do I do everything brilliantly? No I fail on a HUGE scale. I do. And yes, I know it.

XO

Suzanne said...

Work with me sista.

;)

bindhiya said...

Dear Suze,
hope you had a good day..
Thank you for the sweet comment..
hmmm.. i love grocery shopping too.. first i will check produce section then frozen veggies.. then bread.. I love bread.. but i don't like sandwich bread.. i like some beautiful bread..
next tea, honey.. so on..
Shara is in WY. she will be leaving tomorrow.. She will call you soon.

love you dear
((hugs))
bindi

WV. aspaphil

Gig said...

Hey Blottie,
I am here...love ya...listen to Cece and stop and listen to your heart and remember the laughter...and when it all began...then see where it all can go from here...not everything can be as it was...but there is always hope for something better...

Giggie, xoxo

Suzanne said...

Bindi, thank you so much for introducing me to the 99 cent store. I love that place. I do. I bought a 99 cent watermelon that cost $3.99 at Save Mart. Organic tomatoes that cost $4.99 at Trader Joes. It's insane how much I save at that store. I love that store and visit every two or three days!!! Because you know what honey, you never know what you're going to find!!! A bunch of us stood around the other day and discussed the beauty of that store, while collecting all the damn seedless cucumbers we could get our hands on. Oh, and organic lettuce that cost $4.99 at Raley's. It's insane. I. Love. That. Store. You know the truck goes there then to Raley's, Save Mark and Safeway. It's stupid funny. It's a gift that just keeps giving. I got a gorgeous 10 lb bag of Idaho potatoes for 99 cents the other day. Bindi. That's just insane.

XO

PS I love you darling!

Suzanne said...

Giggie,

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Baby, what am I gonna do? Yes, my head in hung. It's hard. You know I love the man with all my heart. He's an amazing guy, but am I pissed. Yes. Do I deserve to be pissed? Yes. But writing to Kylie made me realize I have to figure things out. I love him very much. Is he my guy? Yes. Of course, but am I pissed. Yes. And I have a right to be. And I need to be pissed. I deserve this time to figure everything out. And I will.

Suzanne said...

Giggie,

You know what's so beautiful, I can hear your voice when you say "Love ya." How did we all get so lucky? I love you too. I know that past few days have been hard, but also a relief. I love you so much darling.

XO

Suzanne said...

This is just a general comment. You know how my stereo went missing. Turns out my Mercedes shop took it out to protect it. I guess it's in the trunk or something. It's too funny because you pull up to my Mercedes shop and the cars are all GORGEOUS!!! They stay outside all day in all their glory, then get taken into the shop at night to protect their pretty asses. My Mercedes drives in and is humbled by so much beauty. Trust me, my Mercedes is nothing special, but I do have a Bosch stereo. Apparently the guys at the shop were worried it would be ripped off, pulled it out and saved it's ass. That's just too damn funny.

;)

Suzanne said...

My stereo is stuffed in my trunk, by my Mercedes isn't. What?

krystyna said...

Good Morning Suzanne!
I am so sorry that your long relationship with Rob is over. I didn't understand about that correct.
I don't know what to say.



Have a wonderful day!

kylie said...

hi babe,
leah's comment about the chorus of people telling you to get back together stopped me in my tracks for a bit. of course i know nothing about your life............

but you know what?


nearly every one of your posts mentions rob
you see him all the time, you talk about him, you laugh together and you are so positive about your history.
if i had that i'd be pretty happy

or maybe not, sometimes i wonder if i'm just a whinger and i wouldnt be happy with gandhi himself

anyway, now i'm just doing a stream of consciousness and it's probably dumb

byee

Suzanne said...

Hearing you put it like that put it all in perspective. How odd. He's a good guy.

I love you darling and you have a beautiful day too!!! It's so nice to have you back. I won't screw up anymore. It's just so lovely to have you here.

XO

otin said...

Can you win me a few tickets for Ozzfest!? LOL!

Suzanne said...

Kylie,

I love you so.

Rob and I are like one. That will never change. We have loved one another a very long time and I don't know how that changes even when life does. It's just us and we do love one another so very much. Something just went terribly wrong and I went balistic. I don't know how to change what went wrong. I don't. Do I still love him? Of course I do. Look at him! How can you not love that man. He's gorgeous. And he's funny. And he's smart. He's everything I want in a man. He just made one horrible mistake and I'm wrestling with that. I so want my life back, but I'm in so much pain I don't know what to do.

kylie said...

i was never away suze,
i just dont always have anything to say but your love for rob is so obvious and i just had to remind you in case your story of a thousand laughs wasn't enough

and i dont think you screw up

not at all

wip that thought from your mind

kylie said...

we wrote those comments at the same time so i didnt read the last one until i posted

YOU LOVE HIM
YOU WANT HIM BACK
SO DO IT!

suze, you dont have to wait until you're not angry. acknowledge it but dont make him pay for it and it will fade. especially if you laugh together

kylie said...

and it was meant to say wipe that thought from your mind but you know, whip it away if that does it for ya ;)

Suzanne said...

I'm up a 5 am without Newman. I would only be up at this time with Newman. I'm so damn sick of menopause. How in the hell am going to get through menopause? And this is just the beginning. I'm so sick of this crap.

You made me cry. You know why because he's a terrific guy. You made me look at my life. Rob, on top of everything else, is probably the best guy in bed you'll ever meet. No, I'm not kidding. So on top of every thing else I miss, I miss that. I just miss being loved to death.
Thank you darling for making me think.

the walking man said...

sure we can velcro the hell out of everything I wear...the party is on!

kylie said...

call him.now.

i'm off to bed

mwah

Leah said...

Okay, this is just too romantic. I'm totally doubling back on my original stance and joining the chorus wholeheartedly.

Suzy, as far as I'm concerned long marriages are long because people stay in them and perhaps ultimately for no other reason. When there is love and laughter, great sex and a sweet history together, that's all so much the better, and what else is needed?

otin said...

Suzanne, I don't know your situation that well, and I have known you for a very short time, but it seems to me that if you cannot forgive Rob for his mistake, then you are hurting yourself as much as you are hurting him. Men don't understand how things can crush a woman's soul, we don't have the capacity to be as emotionally deep as most women do, guys have more of a "What is the big deal"? attitude, I am not saying that it is right, I am just saying that that is the way men think. If he understands that he was wrong, and you still love each other, then there is no reason to live in torture, at least give it a chance, you may spend years trying to forgive him, but it may be better if he is by your side while you try! If I am off base, please don't get upset, I don't have much knowledge of your situation, I am just trying to help!

Suzanne said...

Otin,

I visited the official website of Ozzfest and had a really good laugh. I don't think they advertise on my classical station!!!

;)

Suzanne said...

Kylie,

You're so adorable. I know you were never away, I was talking to Krystyna. You make me laugh.

Kylie, Leah and Otin,

About what to do. I don't feel as if I'm handling anything with dignity. For instance today, I'm so tired from a long night and so puffy from crying I'm cranky. Rob came today for a short time to help out because his mom needs the car tonight to go to a concert, and I wouldn't talk or even look at him. I felt so resentful. I've done nothing wrong, yet I'm the one left to basicially run this entire household alone. And I'm exhausted. And I'm angry. Why? Because it isn't fair. I didn't do anything wrong, yet I'm the one suffering. I just can't find forgivness in my heart yet because it's so filled with pain and exhaustion.

The three of you are so precious and thoughtful and trust me, I've really listened to you. I've read your words numerous times and given them a great deal of thought. I can't forgive right now, but maybe soon. But who's to say he'll come back? He's had a taste of freedom and he might like it. I don't know because we haven't discussed it.

You know what I realized reading this comment page. I'm lucky. It was a beautiful love affair. Even if this is the end, that's okay because when it was good, it was really, really good and I have amazing memories. Decades of beautiful memories. Not everyone can say that, but I can. You all helped remind me and I'm grateful because I was becoming so resentful after this difficult year I'd started to forget. And I don't want to. Everyone's fighting so hard for us. Family, long time friends, dear blogging friends. You all obviously see something that matters and maybe Rob and I will figure it out. It's nice to have so much love and support. And I want you all to know I appreciate your kindness from the bottom of my heart. And not just Kylie, Leah, and Otin. All of you. Thank you so much for so many beautiful words.

And one more thing before I go. I want you all to know you can always talk to me about anything. Your opinion matters. I listen. I really, really listen. I try to always learn, to change if I need to. So your words actually do matter. I learn from all of you, so don't ever hesitate to offer your opinion or advice. I can't figure everything out on my own, so I need all of you. I have amazing respect for each and every one of you and what you say matters to me. This comment page has been absolutely remarkable and moving. I'll never forget it. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me.

And "Walking Man," I went to Home Depo and bought industrial strength velcro. We're good to go. Okay, who wants to hear Bach!

And just so you all know, I will never listen to Bach and not think of all of you. That's funny!

With so much love,
Me XO

Cece said...

I just want to realize how lucky you are to have found a man that love you. A man that shows you how special you are by entering you into a contest without you knowing it. A man that goes out of his way to help people he has never heard of, just because you love them and you asked him to help you. Finding love in this cruel world is a treasure. Even if that gift hurts you from time to time, it is still a treasure. It is a treasure that many of us are still searching for, and some of us may never find.

Suzanne said...

Cece,

You're killing me. This comment page has made me cry so hard and now you're making me cry harder. I actually got up, walked to the mirror and took a good hard look at myself. I don't think I like what I see. You're right. You are darling. And the words that hurt most where about how he helps anyone I ask him to. Anyone. He's helped a homeless friend at the park for months. Even drove 2 hours from his office to take the guy to court in another county to get a death certificate. Just because I asked. You're right, you know. Not all guys are like that. But my guy is. He helped Bindi find her way. Has helped my sisters through difficult times. My Mom. My friends. People I hardly know. Legal advice...free whenever I say "honey, can you help please?" When I call and say I need help, Rob never fails me. Never. Why don't I appreciate it? Cece, you make me feel so ashamed. And that's how I should feel. I need to feel this way. I need to cry this hard. I do. Don't feel bad. I needed you to kick my ass. And you did. Ouch. Next time please don't wear steel toes boots.

I know how much you love him and he you. I know darling. I absolutely cherish the relationships he forged with my family, my friends and my darling, darling blogging friends, just because he loves me and reached out when I asked. And now he has beautiful realationships with all of you I can only imagine. You know how special he is and I know that's why you're here reminding me to open my eyes. Often I'm selfish and an idiot. I know you know that and I appreciate the fact you kindly reminded me. Baby, it's so hard you know because I know you know. I'm so hurt and I often think I can't find forgiveness, but you've reminded me that forgiveness isn't that far away. And not so hard after all if I just open my heart and stop worrying about stupid stuff.

And yes, I, like you, know the man is a treasure. I do baby. Thanks for reminding me. And you know what else? This has been the most amazing comment page. An amazing lesson. I'm so grateful for each and every comment. People often think they don't matter. That their voice isn't heard. They do, and it is.

Thank you so much darling. I love you very much. You know that.

XO

just bob said...

Hi Blottie.

e said...

Hi Suzanne!

You are lucky indeed...These comments even made me cry, and I don't think that's because I'm on the verge of menopause or turning 50 the same week you do...

Enjoy the music...I'll bet you'll turn some heads!

somebody said...

酒店經紀人,菲梵酒店經紀,酒店經紀,禮服酒店上班,酒店小姐,便服酒店經紀,酒店打工,酒店寒假打工,酒店經紀,酒店經紀,專業酒店經紀,合法酒店經紀,酒店暑假打工,酒店兼職,便服酒店工作,酒店打工經紀,制服酒店經紀,專業酒店經紀,合法酒店經紀,酒店暑假打工,酒店兼職,便服酒店工作,酒店打工,酒店經紀,制服酒店經紀,酒店經紀
酒店經紀