Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I'm closing the door.

(Edit: Okay, I'm not closing it. I just need some time to find my way. And I will.)

The End...
Edit: Okay, so not the "real" end, just the pretend one. What? You've never had a really crappy day?


just bob said...


kylie said...


Megan said...

What? What? I'm not ready for this!

Oh shit my verif word is "goner"

Dammit, Suzanne!!!

Suzanne said...

You'll all be fine. I'm not. I can't seem to recover from the loss at the park, nor the loss of so much money. You'll all be fine. Trust me, you'll be fine. And yes, I expect an invitation to the wedding! Maybe I'll be back, but for now, no. I can't do this any more. My heart is absolutely broken and I don't know what to do.

Gig said...

This is not acceptable!! I know your beautiful animals at the park and home are your life. This has been a very rough year for you. I wish I could take away all your pain and bring back your Ferals.
We all understand...we all love your wit and humor, it helps us get through our days. Take a break from posting,just stop by to visit and say hi. I have not been posting much, but can not stay away from everyone.

In fact I was here earlier and have been wandering through bloggerland and had no clue when I stopped back here that you were doing this. It is too late for me to call you tonite, but I will call tomorrow, I just have to remember the time difference.

Now, try to get some sleep and we talk later today...love you dear friend.

BTW, did you notice Megan has a picture now, way to go Megan!

word verif is casts...

*stomps off to pout and pops over to Onion for lots of lemon drop cookies*

love, giggie

Walker said...

Why are you looking at the negative side of the loss at the park?
Everyone dwells on the negatives and forgets there are always positives and you cold create more positives.
I have seen people loose everything and throw a party to mark a new beginning.
Its your choice how you wish to recieve your life.
Splashing aimlessly around in a pool or swimming forward to calmer times.

Suzanne said...


I need to dwell here for a wee bit. It isn't negative or positive, it just is. I need to morn this loss and it is a loss. My heart is broken and I can't pretend it isn't. It just is. I can't pretend it isn't honey, I just can't. If you understood what I go through every day you'd understand this pain. I'll get through it. Just give me some time and I'll be fine. I need to find a place to put this, and I will and then I'll be back.

It is my choice, isn't it? I know that. I'm just not willing to let them all go yet. Do you understand? They no longer exists and I have to let them go, but I'm unwilling because it's as if they were here just yesterday. I'll figure it out and then swim to the edge. Thanks sweetie.


Suzanne said...

Bob, Kylie, Megan and Giggie,

Don't worry, every thing's fine. I just need to take some time to bury 10 cats and find my way. I adore you all so much and thanks for your love and concern. And Gig, your spelling sucks! Can I get you another Lemon Drop?! No please, here, take it!!! Bob, I know it's been a while since you've been behind the bar, but can we get a few more Lemon Drops please? I think it's the only way Gig can spell. And to think, that woman teaches our kids!!! Oh. My. God.

hnter1018 said...


I know you are hurting and it sucks to lose the kitties. At least on here you can still talk about it. Don't sit around and dwell on it. Celebrate what you had with them. They were special to you...I do know this. At least here you can talk about it...y'know.

Queen Goob said...

Reading the comments I was going to offer love and support (which is always here for you) but then I get to your reply to Gig and Bob and Kylie and Megan.....you cracked me up.

I know it's been difficult and your friends are here for you throughout this ordeal but I am also glad to see more good days than bad for you lately. We missed that.

I spell checked my reply before posting; pretty good?

Leah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Debbie in CA : ) said...

My Dear Friend Suzanne,

I know of pain and the silence needed to shed the tears and learn a new dance. When my son died I kept on doing, doing, doing to prove to everyone that I was mature and faithful and "together." One day I simply could not cope any longer and I shut the door to sit in silence for a while.

I still cooked, cleaned, loved my husband and children, and all the rest. But I also let things sit while I prayed and walked in the garden and wrote in my journal and beseeched God for the strength to go on after such a tremendous loss. Only my closest ones knew -- the casual ones just kept being busy and filled their schedules with other things and seemed to forget me.

In my peaceful quest I found such joy and hopes and a new direction. The casual ones don't see a difference and they now try to fit me back into their busy, busy schedule . . . but my loved ones know I am changed -- a better me without the brokeness.

Almost exactly four years to the day from my son's death I lost my mentor-like-a-mom. I hurt deeply, but the lessons I learned in the quiet days of yesterday carried me through without the broken time. I began to blog soon after and have found more kindreds to dance with and even more importantly, I found DIFFERENT people to laugh with and learn from and exchange new ideas with. Every time I hop on the blog express I laugh and cry and rejoice that I have so many new pen pals. My family and friends-in-flesh have not gone away nor lacked for my attention, but the blog brought a new element to celebrate.

I guess I ramble from the heart to encourage you to seek peace and quiet and healing, but know that there are special ones here that will wait for you should you decide to come back and throw open the sash for somethig fresh and new.

Please come by and visit me at my little bloggy spot. Comments would be nice for me to know how you are doing, but even if I NEVER hear from you again I will continue to keep you in my prayers. When we love we expose ourselves to the possibility of hurt, but IT IS SO WORTH IT!! As a child I closed off from the world in the face of abandonment and cruelty . . . but I flowered when I found a pathway away from that life and into my true life. I learned to love with abandon and endure the pain . . . and life has been THE BETTER for it!

Come stroll in my garden, smell my sweet roses, sip the tea of friendship, listen to my gentle playlist, and know that you are loved even though we have never met in this crazy, crazy world we call home. Heal sweet friend and come out to play again. I'll be waiting.

Love you! : )

My word verification fits so well: HUSHET.

just bob said...

Wonderful Debbie...

just bob

Anonymous said...

Suzanne, I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. We come in and out of blogland as our lives suck us in to dramas and pain and joys and happiness.

The people I've met here are friends, real friends. A friend will always wait patiently and offer whatever is needed, or not needed.

I have to tell you, this is weird: I had a dream last night that all of us were at a restaurant (Bob, You, Cece, Zack, Queen Goob, Gig, and others but I don't remember their faces). We hugged and laughed and acted as if we've known each other for years. This dream felt SOOOOO real that I was sure it happened. And it does happen, every time we logon, read, comment, laugh, cry, pee our pants, or whatever...

You are where you are and we are here, always.

With love,

kylie said...

your words to suze are lovely, so practical but gentle.....

Suzanne said...

Rob (aka Hunter!), dear Lord you sound like Rob or my mother, sisters or brothers when they mean business..."SUZANNE!!!" What? The rest of the time they call me Sue or Suzy. Too funny.

Oh Rob, life is hard. And when it's not hard, it's harder! I want to take my beautifully scared face from all the falls this past month and bury it in an ice bucket until I'm numb or brain dead, which ever comes first. Don't worry, I'll get it together. I always do, but right now I'm in pity mode. I don't know how to bury 10 kitties and I don't know how to get my retirement account back. But I did save two kittens, and did a grand job. They're healthy and happy after being near death, and the spitting image of their mother, father, brothers and sisters. That's a good thing.

Love you dear and thanks for taking the time to write. It means a great deal because I know there are so many other interesting blogs written by women who are actually really, really sexy and with practically no problems!!! But you read mine. Amazing!!! I'm honored. THANKS HONEY!!!

Hope all is well on the homefront and that the ducks are safe. ;) What? I can't help myself. Oh, and by the way, your stories about your kids are insanely funny. You should write a book. You know, just a compliation of fun stories and memories. You get me laughing so hard.

Love you dear. I'll work through this and be back. Until then, be kind to animals...don't shoot.

XO ;)

Suzanne said...


Honey, sweetie, darlin', baby, you're so dippy sometimes. That's not a real picture of Megan. *Eyes roll back in head.* It's another fake.


Suzanne said...

Goobie!!! Hi honey. Ugh. Tough day. Tough week. Tough month. Tough year. I'm looking forward to 2009 and hopefully half the problems I have now! Anything's gotta be better than all this crap.

Thanks for your support and love and also, thanks for your laughter. The fact you enjoy my humor makes the effort worthwhile! I love you dear and thanks for caring.

XO Suze

Gig said...

So I am dippy am I. Is that a word? Plus I can't spell...boy it has been a really bad day!! I promise to do better.

Hope your days are better soon. All I see in the forecast here in MICHIGAN (aka Arkansas) is SNOW!!

Long, busy day...gotta get some rest...please call me, have lost your number...

love ya, giggie

Megan said...

I actually have posted a real picture on my blog at one point.

I tried to do it as quietly and stealthily as possible...

If this is the end, then I say we just keep on keepin on with the comments on this post. I wonder if there is a maximum that we could reach and Blogger would explode and we'd all end up together in some brighter, happier place?

Hope you're ok tonight Blottie. One day at a time, darlin.

Suzanne said...

I'm waiting for my cell phone to charge so I can leave for the park. I'm over a half hour late. For some reason it's charging like a snail.

You're all so wonderful. I'll try to stop by later today and answer all the thoughful comments. And yes Megan, perhaps my blog has just moved to the comment page! Thank you all for helping me through this rough patch.

I'm on the computer while the phone charges to learn how to euthanize a gold fish humanely. Ugh. When it rains it pours. I have to buy Finquel (she'll go to sleep and won't wake up - it's recommended by a Biologist at the Univ. of Minnesota) at Doctors Foster & Smith for $25, plus tax, plus shipping. I'm going to look for a fish vet today. Perhaps the cost to go to the Vet's to have her put to sleep is reasonable and a better option. Wish me luck.

Gotta go. My phones not fully charged, but enough in the event of an emergency. Hope you all have a beautiful Thursday. It's Thursday, right?

Gig (Dippy!), Yes "dippy" is a word. Next time you're "teaching" In School Suspension, bring a dictionary instead of a trash novel. I'm familiar with the word because my mother referred to me as Dippy just about as often as she referred to me as Sue.

dippy (dip-ee) (-pi-er, pi-est) (slang) crazy, silly.

Well Dippy, sounds as if you're dippier than me. And to think, I thought I was dippiest.

Gotta run. Love you all!

Mr. Shife said...

Well I hope you leave the door open a little bit or at least you will allow us to knock on it every now and then. If this indeed the end then thank you so much for your friendship and being a wonderful human being. I will miss you. Take care.

Cece said...

I'm here. I'm late, but I'm here. I've tried to call you, but I can't get through. You have my number, call me if you want to cry, or if you want to laugh. I'm here for you just as you have been here for me. Visit my MindWorks post, I think you may find solice and comfort there, and if not there then visit my post at The Onion. Yes people, I've done two posts in one day! I love my word verification it is nockiti. Love ya girlie,..... ME

Skeeter said...

Hi Suzanne,

I know exactly how you feel. Been there myself. Still hope to see you writing again and posting those great images of your kitties, especially when they are being naughty! I love you kiddo. Take care. See you soon,

Best wishes,


What is a "prewapt"? It's my verification word and it sounds too dignified not to be a real word, right?


dont make me put the fucking smack down here suz. take some time off. we all do it. we all need a break from things every now and then. we are here for you as much as we are here for every one else and i can see that everyone here has said some nice things already so i wont blow any more roses up your ass.

losing animals is tough, not as tough as losing your friends, loved ones, family. they are indeed just animals, even though you pour your heart and soul into them, they are what they are suz...

take a step outside your situation, re-evaluate and come back strong, if for no other reason than to be there for you remaining park friends and the ones that are sure to come... we will all be here, waiting...

word verification: wryme

Suzanne said...

I posted this at the Wild Onion, but thouht I should post it here as well. Hope you agree!
Great news everybody!!! I rescued the last kitten at the park today!!! It was foggy and cold and she was shivering. I've waited for her mom to return for 4 days and had planned to wait 3 more days to be fair, but I saw her shivering and couldn't bare it (she's 3 months old). I fed her, then walked back to the car to get the carrier. I picked her up (we're dear friends, so I pick her up all the time), put her in and off we went to the Vet's. She wasn't happy initially, but calmed down. She was scared, but did beautifully at the Vet's. She weighs only 3 lbs which I think is a good healthy weight for her age (remember Ohno only weighted 2 lbs at 6 months (that was pathetic)). I've been waiting for the phone call to inform me whether or not she tested positive for Feline Lukemia and HIV. I just got it! She didn't!!!!! She has ear mites, fleas, roundworms and a bit of conjunctivitis in her left eye. She's already been treated for fleas and roundworms and will be staying at the Vet's over the weekend for additional eye treatment, rest, warmths and relaxation. We'll evaluate the situation Monday and decide whether she can come home or not. The Vet tech told me "Everyone is just loving on her, she's absolutely precious and is purring up a storm. You do an amazing job with your ferals!" Yippie!!! What a great day. And it's exactly 4 weeks to the day I rescued Hillary's two wee ones, and they're doing beautifully (I named the little girl Bella and the little boy Bjou Bjou (Love~Love in French! He looks more like "Tom," but I tried to think outside the box!)). I lost 8 babies, but I saved 3. I feel so lucky today. Life is good. Now I'm hoping the wee one's mom (Emma. Emma is my beloved Ireland's sister) finds her way back to me, so I can finally rescue her. I always have hope.

This is going to be a beautiful holiday season. I have to run to the Vet's, get my carrier, get gas (I nearly passed out the other morning because Premium is only $2.99/ gallon!!!) run back home, load the dishwasher, do laundry, fold piles and piles of clothes, clean the kitchen and hopefully get the front entry decorated for Christmas. Wish me luck!!! Hurray for Vets!!!

Love you all! Blottie XO

P.S. I absolutely promise to respond to all the beautiful comments. Give me a few days. Thanks!

Suzanne said...

If any of you have emailed, give me a few days as well. I was overwhelmed when I looked last night. I have over 100 unread messages. I didn't look at any of them and logged off immediately!!! Yes, that's how I deal with stress at the moment, I avoid stuff!!! I have great firewall protection, so every message matters. Trust me, I'll get to them. *Adjusts cereal box and fluffs beautiful green skirt.


farmgirl said...

I just found your wonderful blog by
luck, on my way from other wonderful
blogs...I haven't read everything but
I know it's been a very difficult time.
I am so taken by the community, friendship and love that is so evident here, and is so needed by our world.
I have 6 doggies, 6 kitties and 3 horses and I wake up to mountains every morning. We have roses in summmer only, not year round like you do.
Your pictures of your garden are dreamy
and the kitties melt my heart. One of
mine just tried to hit the tab key.
Peace, Love and Music to you and yours this holiday season.

Suzanne said...

I promise to reply to all these wonderful comments. Tomorrow. For now I'm going to vent because I need to get this off my chest so I can load the dishwasher, do the laundry, clean and start decorating for Christmas. What's new!!!???

I arrived at the park late this morning only to be stopped by a guy at the entrance informing me I wasn't allowed in. I informed him I was, told him who I was and expected to have the path cleared. There was a marathon going on for Kindergardeners - 4th graders. About 1/3 of the road was roped off to protect the kids from cars. I knew the event well because by happy accident my BMW was parked in the center of it last year and I had a blast. Remember?! The kids, teachers, parents were all spectacular and frankly, little kids running a full marathon is pretty awesome. They train for about 8 months and then do it. They put me to shame!

Today was very cold and foggy and when I arrived I was a wee bit tired and not ready to deal with stupid. When I was stopped I agreed to wait until all the kids passed, but informed him I had to go to my regular location to feed the ferals and that of course I'd be very careful. He said "Okay." When most of the kids had passed I said "I'll just stay to the left and park over to the side." He replied, well I'm not going to let you in, you can park right here because I have to protect the kids." I replied "No, I have a very heavy bag to carry and I'm not walking through this park with a heavy bag because you're being unreasonable. Please get out of my way." He stepped in front of my car as I started to drive and laughed. Okay, fine, I tried to get around him, but he stepped in front of my car again. The kids had all passed and there wasn't one in sight and I told him I had permission from the director of the park to feed the ferals every day. He said "Too bad, not today lady unless you park right here." I informed him again "I'm not parking right here, I'm going up there and pointed to the location." I tried to drive around him and he ran in front of my car. Okay, Suze had enough. I told him to get out of my way. No, let me rephrase that. I didn't tell him, I screamed it!!! He said "I'm calling the Rangers." I said go right ahead, they all know me and will escort me in. He said "I'm calling the Principal." I started laughing and said "What is this, grade school?" Then realized yup! While he was dialing I started to back up to go back to the entrance gate and get the phone number. I said "Screw it" and left the car open and completely unattended and walked back to the gate to get the phone number hoping the cold air would clear my mind before I killed him.

Called the number, got a guy. Told him who I was and what I was doing and why. He asked where I was, I told him the North Gate. He said, no, which park? I said "Oh, you aren't here?" "No, I'm in corporate headquarters." I gave him the history, the whole stupid story and said "I'm going to feed these feral today and I'm not going to have some macho idiot tell me I have to park here." He said "What's the ranger's name?" I said "He isn't a ranger, he's a teacher or parent with the kid's marathon." He said "Well, that's not okay." I replied, "I KNOW!!!! I was nearly back to my car at that point and told the guy standing in front of it someone wanted to talk to him." He said "Who?" I said, "I don't know, some big whig at the Park Service." I could hear the words as Mr. Big Whig said "You can't prevent her from entering the park, you're going to have to listen to her, this is a State Park and she has permission to enter." And idiot's reply was "She's completely unreasonable, I'm not going to listen to her." I grabbed the phone and told my friend at Park Services, I'm entering the park. That's okay, right?" He replied "Yes." I said "Thank you." I looked at idiot and said "Get out of my way because I have had just about enough of stupidity." I started the car and began to drive and that little crapper walked in front of my car for the last time. I got out and walked right up to his face and said "You have cross the line and when I get back in my car, if you aren't gone you will regret it all the days of your life because I've had enough. And trust me, all of these conversations were recorded." He got out of my way. I didn't know if they were recorded or not, but it sounded good! I was so pissed I didn't care what the hell got him out of my way.

I pulled into my parking slot and there were a whole bunch of marathon monitors watching me. I told one guy the story because I was still fuming. He apologize. I informed him it wasn't his fault. Then a wonderful woman in the group approached me and started talking about the ferals who had been waiting for me, and her rescue of 4 dogs. It was a gift from Heaven and calmed my heart. I really believe she was a gift and given to me for a reason. On my way out of the park we all shook hands and she and I hugged and told one another to have a beautiful life as we watched the wee ones run by for the very last time. They had run a marathon and had only about a quarter mile to go!!! What an amazing accomplishment. I left the park and never looked at "that guy." I didn't want his to be the last face I saw. I wanted to remember her and the kids.

Life is good.

3 Magpies said...

Your spunk serves you well. I, too, love kitties, as do my children. We must continue to teach others to love by example. Rock on for the kitties!

Cece said...

Wow, you were pissed. Did you get the house decorated yet?

Suzanne said...


No, I didn't get the house decorated. Too much stuff to do. I'll try again tomorrow. Wish me luck! And yes, you bet I was pissed. I wasted over a half hour of valuable time on that idiot.

Hope all is well my dear. Is Forrest feeling better yet? Oh, and just so you know, you inspired me to walk around the neighborhood tonight and take photos of Christmas lights. I'll try to post them soon. T-Bone and I only walked a few blocks, but got some nice ones. We'll walk further tomorrow night.

Love you!

Suzanne said...

3 Magpies,

Hello my dear. Thanks for stopping by. I visited your blog and wrote a bit there, but will respond here as well. My grandmother used to call me "spunky." I like that word! It's cute! Thanks!

The guy I met this morning was odd. He was obviously on a power trip and at one point I remember sitting in the car thinking "What is motivating him?" I still can't figure it out, but I must say that there are more people who care about animals and what I do than those who don't, and they inspire me. The group I met once I was able to get into the park all witnessed what happened and they couldn't have been more generous with their time and compliments. I learned a valuable lesson today. Like I said on your blog, I know when I'm right and I'm relentless. I also know that state park officials have always been kind to me and today was no acception. At one point the guy on the phone said "I don't know who you are, so don't know if I can help you." That was before he learned I wasn't dealing with a park ranger, but a regular guy! I said, "I know you don't know who I am, but everyone at this park knows who I am, so I need you to believe me and help me get in." He said "Put the Ranger on the phone," and I informed him I wasn't dealing with a Ranger and it was over. Huge sigh of relief. And then the angel I met once I got in. I never caught her name, but I've met angels before at the park and know one when I see one. We didn't exchange names or phone numbers at the end because I knew we weren't supposed to. I asked her if she was a teacher and she said no, and that's all she said. I knew then. I honestly believe there are angels on earth.

Your blog is so beautiful and your philosophy about life and kids is amazing. I'm going to tell all my friends about you!!! Thanks for your kindness and for inspiring me to be an even better person. Oh, and to laugh more. I laugh A LOT, but need to laugh more. Thanks dear. We'll chat soon.

XO Suze

Suzanne said...


Thank you so much. I hope you start a blog. I'd like to visit.

Your words matter and the fact you care for so many animals melts my heart. I love people who love animals. It speaks volumes.

It's true, I have a wonderful support system. Blogging friends are really quite amazing. We've been through so much together and I know we'll get through this hiccup as well. I hope you stick around and play a roll.

Happy Holidays to you and your family as well. And thanks again for stopping by. Really.

XO Suze

Suzanne said...


Hi honey. Thanks. You are such a gentle sweet soul and always amaze me as a friend. You swoop in an say just the right thing. I will take time off because I need to, but I'll be back once I'm rested.

Zack, you know something? I love animals probably as much as I do people. For some reason I just don't differentiate. I think I'm wired differently than most people. My mom once said "If you'd had children you wouldn't love animals so much." My response was "Mom, are you nutty?" It wouldn't have mattered. Children wouldn't have changed my love for animals. That's why what's happening at the park is killing me and why the possibility of losing Newman is gut wrenching as well. I don't let go easily. Ireland escaped almost a year ago, yet I still look for him every day. Why? I don't know. I think it's that I have unfailing hope. Will Hillary return? Nope. But do I have hope her beautiful self will walk out of the woods? Yup! I do, and so I can't bury her yet, nor her babies.

I love you Zack. You know that. Thanks for stinking around, making me laugh and making me think. You're a dear, dear friend and I absolutely adore you.


Suzanne said...

IV "an" should have been "and." I suck at typing. Or spelling. Who knows?!

Suzanne said...

I realize I'm working backward. Did anyone else pick up on that?

Suzanne said...


I love you too dear. And I especially loved being called "kiddo." My mom still calls me that and it has a special place in my heart.

I'll be fine, just trying to work though a bit of pain. You know the deal. I'm so glad your still around and didn't decide to leave all of us. It matters you know. We're all a team and when one is struggling we worry so much. That's love. Pure and simple. Biggest hug and biggest kiss on cheek. Thank you darling.


Suzanne said...

Skeeter, "your" should be "you're." Okay, this is bordering on stupid-silly.

Suzanne said...


You kill me with love and kindness. You're a terrific friend and I'm sorry I didn't pick up the phone. I couldn't talk. I didn't have it in me. You know what that feels like.

When we finally meet I'm going to hug you to bits. I still can't believe I met such a dear, sweet soul. I love you. And thanks for always caring.


Suzanne said...

I'll get to the rest of the comments either later today or tomorrow. Keep the faith!!! Wish me luck because I hope to decorate the house today if I can get the entire thing cleaned. What? Yes, I do believe in magic!


Leah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
farmgirl said...

thanks for saying hello, and while I don't have a daily blog, I do have a place
you can visit: marychapincarpenter.com

You can see pics of my beloved four legged friends and other things.

cheers from the cold Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia today...

Suzanne said...





Suzanne said...

Mary, Mary, Mary,

On my God this is too funny. I'm taking you out of turn which is completely unfair to all my dear friends, but they'll understand because they're wonderful and this is for them as much as it is for me and you. I'll be honest. At first I thought it was a joke, but realized quickly it wasn't.

I fell in love with you and your music back in the early 90's when I was at UCLA (you had a short hair cut, probably to your chin if I remember correctly). PBS broadcast one of your concerts and I listened to you for the first time and just fell head over heals in love with your voice and words (and if it wasn't in the early 90's it was in the mid 90's, right?!!!). I adore James Taylor, Tracy Chapman, etc. and your music is in the same vain and so I listened and appreciated every song and every word because you brilliantly told a story. You also had a wonderful, kind relationship with your audience and I was impressed. My admiration only grew through the years as you won award after award and navigated as an artist. I watched you again in concert within the past year or two on PBS and you didn't disappoint of course. You were more mature, had longer hair, and still a kind, sweet soul. I listen and enjoyed. Was that concert on Great Performances? I can't remember. I just remember you looked really sexy with long hair!!!

I went to your website and read and listened. I wasn't aware you were ill nor aware you had suffered depression. The fact you shared such intimate details of your life didn't surprise me, the way you wrote about it floored me (I'm thankful you're alive and on my blog. Honestly honey, I am). I was actually looking for your Washington Times article to determine whether or not you're REALLY, REALLY CONSERVATIVE. Yes, I'm concerned my liberalism might actually kill you!!! Instead I read the NPR stuff!!! Oh joy! When you buried your head and cried in the car, I cried with you. So many of us have been there sweetie. Really, we have. I have an amazing support system on my blog as you so beautifully pointed out and I'm confident many friends will lend there support to you as well as enjoy your company. I'm going to come out of hibernation and write a post as soon as I have an opportunity. I'll introduce you to my friends, and my friends to you. It'll take probably a good month to get to know everyone, then you're on your own!!! Enjoy yourself sweetie. Trust me, you will. They're a hoot. Just open your mind because, well, you'll see! Oh, and if you're really, really conservative and timid, FOR GOD SAKES, DON'T GO TO THE WILD ONION! Or IV'v, and certainly not MJ's, and sometimes Leah's, and RC can be risky too. Just be careful. And oh, I swear. A lot! I have potty mouth. I can't help it. Think outside the box, okay? I have a lot of very religious friends on my blog and somehow they overlook all my faults! And the faults of my friends! Don't be an exception. ;)

Oh, and this will make you laugh. My hubby came home and I said "You won't believe who's on my blog." "Who?" I replied
Mary Chapin Carpenter." He had a big old smile and said "Well it doesn't surprise me because it's a small world and somehow everyone finds you, like Cheers." I showed him your website and as soon as he saw the photo for your Christmas CD he said, and I quote, "Wow, that would make a great Christmas card!" Okay, so Mary, if this music stuff doesn't pan out, you can always go into the greeting card business! Really, that is a gorgeous photo. And as an artist, I wouldn't lie. And as a lawyer, Rob would lie either. Good luck with that honey!

It's been a pleasure my dear. Thanks for dropping by and please don't hesitate to come back. It's nice to have you here and you're among friends so just settle in and find your voice. I'd have your music on my blog, but swear to God I don't have the time to learn how to do everything in blogland. I'll try though. Oh, and the Christmas CD is lovely. I listened at Amazon. I'll buy it of course, but can't listen to it at home because our kitty Sweet Pea chewed through the speaker wire just for the entertainment value. IV has told me I can splice it, but it's so tiny, I don't know how!!! I'll give it a try in the next few days. Otherwise we'll just look at the CD this holiday season and hope for the best next Christmas. Maybe Santa can fix it!? Oh, and I can't listen to it in the car because the CD player ate my last CD. Yup...still in there. So, I guess I'll just have to go to Amazon and listen to the first 10 words of every song. What?

XO Suze

Suzanne said...

Oh, and Mary, I forgot to mention, the photo of you with your dog is precious.

Suzanne said...


Brilliant idea!!! I'm not going to get to it again today. I'm hoping for tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Oh, by the way, my friend Deb has a daughter who reminds me so much of Hedgehog. They're around the same age and both very smart and write beautifully. I'd like to put them in touch. Would you mind? You can review the post that impressed me, then give me a shout. Stop by and I'll give you the link.

Love you darling. Hope you had a nice Sunday.


Suzanne said...

Mary. I said Rob "would" lie. I have lots and lots of typos. Yes, we all laugh a great deal around this joint.

farmgirl said...

I am so glad that you were able to check out the website. The photo that opens it is of my beloved best friend who left us 3 years ago, Cal. He
went allover the world with me and I miss him every day. In fact, that photo was taken at the large outdoor venue in Northern CA in Concord (?) about 10 years ago.

Before I go on, please let me clarify that my first name is Mary Chapin, not just Mary. I have to tell everyone that. But you can abbreviate it all with just MC when
writing. It makes life easier for everyone.
And let me also clarify that although i do write a column for the Washington Times, I am about as conservative as...well, I can't think of an example, but I was raised
in a staunchly democratic liberal freethinking enlightened house and I am proud to be a Liberal with a capital L. The Times offered me the column and I was
as rude as could be during the interview, asking "is this still the Moonie paper?" and "who in the world reads this rag" (well, not that rude) but they were great
and still wanted me to write the column even after that. They explained that they are evolving, and keeping the conservative stuff on the op ed page. Well, so far
they have been nothing but supportive so we'll see how it flies. I write about whatever comes into my head and try to throw some music stuff into it as well.
I look forward to getting to know the folks around here; two of my sisters have blogs but I forget to read them, isn't that terrible?
I hope that you got your house cleaned today; with all the animals around here and my husband who leaves a trail behind him wherever he goes, I clean every day.
It's my bedtime here on the east coast; I get up around 5:30 every morning and head to the gym. I like driving in the very early morning, it's my meditative time and
I get to see the sun rise over the mountains as I get nearer to town. So I'll say goodnight and see you soon. Hope you are feeling better no matter what.
xo Mc2

Skeeter said...

Hi Suzanne,

I'm glad you got through to feed the animals. It amazes me how intolerant and short sighted some people that guy can be.

Best wishes,


Anonymous said...

*knock knock*

When are you going to open the door?!?

Leah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
just bob said...

Hi Blottie

Gig said...

Hey Blottie,
Can you come out and play?

Come on Open that damn door will ya!! Stop by and see me soon or call.

xoxo, giggie

w.v. trutoe, *so I am tapping my trutoe, waiting to get in the damn door*

kylie said...

hey you!
you come to my blog asking all kinds of questions and you dont come back for the answers???

too cruel

what, you want me to reply to your email?
you want a better cereal box?
you want to change your green dress for purple?
you want to see what real shoulders look like?

women always want the impossible


Suzanne said...


Knock it off! I came. I saw. I left a comment. What? Too funny. Your answers are amazing. I like the fact you answered all of mine!!! Great answers. That Christmas weather kills me. *Sits down on beach towel, rubs self with oil and waits.*

XO ;)

Suzanne said...

Opens door just a tad. "Hi Giggie!!! Come on in honey."

I'm okay and will call in a few days. Just funky at the moment, but so many funny things happened today I'll have to post to get them off my 34B chest. What? Of course I'm laughing. Oh, and I need a hair cut. I had an amazing dream last night I met an old flame. I looked like shit. I realize I need a good hair cut (I'm sick of chopping it off myself) and I need some new clothes. I have a Paul Michell shop just up the street. Do you suggest I go?

Suzanne said...

Hi Bob baby. Hey sweetie, I posted on your blog. Forgive me. God we all miss you. Come home soon. I can't entertain with kitties forever.

XO Blottie

Suzanne said...


Hello there lady yourself. I thought about you today as I made celery soup. Well, guess I should call it celery, onion and potato soup. It's lovely. I always wing it when it comes to soup. This one's a keeper. And did you know celery is a nature diarectic? Yup, all your puffiness just goes away. It's a miracle worker!!!

Love you darling,

Gig said...

Seen your comment over at Bob's, too funny...
I am no sissy when it comes to staying up late...when I commented at here and Bob's it was your time. It was 1:44 a.m. my time.

Have not heard from Mrs.B in several weeks, will let you know if I do.

Wish I was closer, I would shape up your hair, but since I am not go to the Paul Mitchell Salon and interview the stylists and find one that you are comfortable with. Then have your hair shaped, since you whacked (lol)at it. I have clients that do that all the time. Oldest granddaughter is in Florida and has beautiful, natural curly hair past her waist...told me she has been interviewing hairdressers before they can touch her hair!! Made me proud that she had listened to at least 1 thing I have told her all these years! Let me know what you do.

I love Mary Chapin Carpenter, and have for a long time. I went and checked out her website, it was awesome that she has visited you and commented on our wonderful family. There is always room for more...we all fit together so well.

Ok, I must go do some chores, yuk!!

I will call Cece and get your number...
love ya, gig

Suzanne said...

Giggie, please don't call tonight. I just heard from Cece and could barely focus. I have a migraine that is horrible. We'll chat in the next day or two. And honey, just talk to Mary Chapin (MC) yourself. She's just right above this!!! Say "HEY!!!" She's a sweetie and fits right in! I know she'd love to introduce herself. Who knew? MC, I'm going to direct Giggie to your NPR piece. Giggie, read the NPR stuff!!! You'll see. It's amazing.

And Gig, you know what I want? I want to live near the Christmas tree on MC's CD in a little house with radiant heat!!! Where the hell am I going to find that place?

I'll get back to you about the haircut. I will interview!!!

Love you darling!

P.S. Very smart granddaughter. A chip off the old block. Well...not that you're old or anything! Sorry!


Megan said...

Hi Suzanne! I hope your headache is better. My mother suffered from migraines. Horrible!

Why do you always have so much laundry???

I was going to ask you to write a new post but you kind of took the pressure off with your visit to Bob's place. So take your time over here and we'll all be around.

Greetings and welcome to MC. I've got some other bloggy friends who are great fans!

Suzanne said...


I just woke from a 3 hour "nap." My freakin' head still hurts. Life is often so unkind!!! (Your poor mom.)

I have so much laundry because this entire house is slipcovered in white cotton duck. Seriously. When you have this many animals you have to be extremely practical, and I am. Slipcovers from some room are being laundered every other day. The animals also have about a gazillion little resting places for their tush, so tush pads always have to be laundered. And because everyone is allowed to do what ever the hell they want, linens are constantly in need of laundering. And T-Bones bedding is laundered every day. Oh, and then the big one. We have two kitties (brothers) we rescued while living in the San Francisco Bay Area. They have bladder issues and pea on everything, so we have towels up EVERYWHERE!!! Rob calls the house "Our Turkish Bath." I do probably 2-3 load of towels per day. Insane, I know, but who else would adopt them. They're ours and we love them, so go through hoops to make sure they're safe, warm and well cared for, and also that the house is safe, warm and well cared for! Hey, who said life would be perfect? Or sane?

I also have allergies, so have to keep the house very clean. If you walked in you wouldn't even know we have pets! Seriously. I got laughing a few weeks ago when a service guy from the cable company arrived and while working on the computer one of the kitties showed up. He said "Wow, you have a cat? Us too." I said "Yup, we have a cat." I was dying and started to laugh. I think he thought I was a bit nutty, but I knew there were about 10 others just lurking around this joint waiting for him to get the hell out! (Yes, it's true, I only have 11 cats. I stopped counting at 11.)

Glad you said hello to MC. She's a sweetie and I'm so happy she found us. Oh, speaking of sweetie. Hey sweetie, when you gonna post at the Wild Onion???!!! Are you a sissy? I think Cece's suggestion was mighty fine.

;) What? Of course I'm laughing. 2008's almost over. *Crosses arms, taps foot.*

Love you darling. And yes, I'll post soon. The kitty post at Bob's was simply a diversion.


Suzanne said...

Yes, of course "Pea" should be "Pee." Hey, I have a headache.

Suzanne said...

Okay. It's official. I'm going to respond to the remaining comments tonight. Why? Because I have a migraine. Can't sleep, can't eat, can't watch tv, can't think. Perfect. I'll blog!

Gig ~ I wish you lived closer too. I wouldn't have to type so far to talk to you.

RC ~ Who's there? It's open. Come on in. Honey I have a headache so can you make the tea? Thanks. XO

Skeeter ~ Hello darling. Thanks for commenting about the incident at the park. It was very frustrating, but another lesson. And yes, I agree, it's amazing how some people are intolerant. I was talking to a Park Ranger today who feeds the ferals as well and loves one in particular. He's been missing for over a week and we're both very, very concerned (the Ranger has been feeding his favorite for over 7 years). Something's happening at the park and we don't know what. He said "You know, there are people who hate cats." We talked about why it is that some people lack compassion. We threw a lot of reasons into the wind, but honestly, the answer is elusive. What compells a person to hate something as innocent as a kitty?

Love you dear ~ thanks for always stopping by.


I just reread my comment about Hillary and her babies. I'm crying. No, I haven't found peace yet. I'm unwilling to let them go. I leave the house every day and tell her first litter, "Well, I'm off to see if I can find Mommy," and I mean it. No luck yet, but maybe tomorrow!



Hi honey. Sorry about not getting back to you sooner, but my poor Deb is still waiting too and she's been waiting longer. I used to have so many comments I didn't know what to do, then I accidently deleted my blog roll and life got a bit easier. It now takes only about a week for a response!!! Trust me honey, I try. I do!

Thanks for the heads-up about Mary and MC. Southerners. One name is never enough! I'll refer to you as MC and will direct my dear friends to do the same. No problem because we have and RC and and IV. You fit right in. But what's with Mc2? Explain.

I'm so sorry about Cal. I know what it is to lose a loved one. The photo is beautiful. Your website is beautiful. And yes, I'm glad I checked it out. It's funny because Concord is just over the hill from the East Bay and hubby and I attended CAL (UC Berkeley). I think it only fitting we should meet. I'm sure Cal is looking down on us and smiling.

I knew you were a Democrat. I knew it. My hubby said "I don't know honey, the Washington Times is ultra conservative," but I said, "Just because she writes for them doesn't mean she's one of them." Thanks for confirming that!" It was so funny because I know your music and when I was navigating your blog I saw the reference to the Washington Times and my initial reaction was "HUH???!" Really. I'm laughing because it's too funny. You lived up to my expectations. Thank you!!! Good luck with that gig. Write your heart out and enjoy the process. I think you're a breath of fresh air in that place. Honey, is your column on line or do I have to buy that damn rag to read it!!!??? Yes, of course I'll buy it if I have to. Just know it's in complete protest because I know I'm contributing to the Repulican Party. Jeeeeeeeeeeeze. But good for you for thinking outside the box. I hope you change minds and sway votes. What? Of course I'm laughing!

Well, I got the house cleaned, but not decorated. Still working on that. And I swear to God this is true. I've come back from the park after feeding the ferals the past two days and look at the house and say "How the hell's it look this bad." And have to clean it again. At this rate I'm never going to get Christmas decorations up. Seriously. There aren't enough hours in the day to do all this crap!

Too bad about your sister's blogs. I don't think you'll have a problem with reading around here. My friends are rather addictive! No really, I'm not kidding. They're a hoot. Oh, and I've changed my warning to please visit the Wild Onion. It's the best. Just relax into it and know that once in a while, something wacky happens. You'll fit right in!

I'm an early riser too. Usually around 4am because our oldest kitty, Newman, insists. I love to see the sun rise and enjoy the quiet. It's my favorite time of day. What do you do at the gym? I'm not a gym gal. I'd rather take T-Bone out for a good walk, but he insists on sleeping, so I'm on my own!

It's been wonderful to chat. Please stop by when you have a chance and know that we're all here for you. I'd hope to introduce you to everyone, but my head is killing me, so writing a new post is out for the moment. Oh, and besides, I have to answer my comments before moving on. Honey, just bop around and say "Hi." You'll be welcomed with open arms. And visit the Wild Onion. Everyone stops by and will give you a good chat.

Love you dear. Thanks for the comments. It's so nice to have you here. And no, not because you're MC the musician, but because you're you. Enjoy.


Suzanne said...


It's taken a long time for me to get here. Not because I was insensitive, but because I couldn't find my voice. Your loss is so great. Mine too, and so we wonder, where to go, what to do, what to think, how to find our way? I don't know the answer. I just know it's hard and it hurts. It's my sincere hope that one day it will hurt less because going on like this seems impossible.

You made me realize that blogging heals a broken heart, and that all the support matters. I recently read a comment and leaned a dear friend doesn't like all the "support" sort of stuff. Hummmmmmmm. I had to think about that. When doesn't someone need a little support? It's so simple.

I love you so much my darling and thanks for always showing up and always giving support. You're a gem and I adore you.

I'll stop by. Trust me.


Karen ^..^ said...

I'm a cat lover, (anything with fur, really, but mostly kitties) a democrat, and I'm mostly dysfunctional in this society, and couldn't be happier about it.

I'm sorry about your migraine.

My heart breaks when I read what you write about Hillary.

I hope you find her, and if not, I hope you can put her to rest.

I do hope you continue to post. You write so beautifully, and we seem to have much in common. It's like we were separated at birth! LOL.

Suzanne said...


Are you my long lost sister?!!! Too funny. Thanks for dropping by and for loving everything furry. I so admire people who love animals and give them a good home because it makes my heart sing. A Democrat. Thank God! Dysfunctional? You don't look it. You have a great haircut. I don't. I'm not dysfunctional and I've yet to haul my ass to the hairdresser. What's up with that? Recently I chopped about 6 inches off and felt mighty proud until I looked in the mirror. Not very straight!!! Our dear friend Gig (who is a teacher and a hair dresser) advised me to seek professional help. So I called the doctor.

I'm sorry I have a migraine too. I've had a headache for 16 or 17 days and can't figure out if it from tripping over Nash at the park and doing a nose dive, or lifting over 100 lbs of kitty litter out of the car. I actually think it was the kitty litter because the next day I was in absolute agony and it won't end. Thanks for caring. I'll inform you when I'm all better or dead!

Hillary. Don't we both. I haven't blogged about it, but recently lost my darling mom's Emma and Natasha as well. I just rescued the last remaining kitten about a week ago. I don't know what to do with any of this. There are days I feel absolutely numb. I still go to the park to feed one kitty. ONE kitty. What happened in a month? The past month for me has been pure torture and you know me by now, I have a very difficult time not knowing the answer. No matter how painful, I'd rather know.

On a happy note, the three kittens I rescued (2 of Hillary's, 1 of Emma's) are now all so healthy and happy. I'll introduce them in a post as soon as my headache eases. You won't believe how lovely they are. I wish you lived close by and could adopt. I know you'd give one or two a great home. Honestly, I think what helps me cope every day is looking at the three of them before I leave for the park. They're the only survivors beside Nash and I'm beyond grateful I was able to get them. Yes, the house is VERY full, but what the heck. What was I supposed to do, leave them?

I'll continue to post. I just needed to step back and reevaluate what it is I'm posting for and how to find time to do everything else. I'm not so sure I'm any closer to the answer, but I do realize I blog for a reason. I have dear, dear friends who matter a great deal, so that's my number one reason, the second is, it's cathartic. So yes, I'll continue if I can ever get rid of this head pain!!!

Thanks so much for stopping by. I'll pop in to your blog today as well. Please visit often because it's so nice to have you here. Welcome.


Suzanne said...

I just ate 6 crackers with cheddar cheese. I sat down and realize my headache is gone. I'm afraid to move. I have a gazillion things to do, yet I'm afraid to move. I've endured this thing for 16 days and I'm pain free. I'm afraid to move.

Suzanne said...

Well, I gotta leave this place at some point. Wish me luck.

Cece said...

This comment is for Farmgirl (A.K.A. Mary) You really have stumbled upon a gold mine of a friend in Suzanne. She is wonderful to talk to, plus she has an infectious spirit that brightens your day. I hope that you continue to find peace in your soul and that you find yourself healing a little more each day.

If you can find the time to give me a ring tomorrow(Friday, 12/12)evening, I would greatly appreciate it. I hope that your headache is better. For some reason today has been hard for me. I just need to hear your voice and Gig's voice. I don't know what it is about the two of you, but you bring much needed peace to my heart. I mis my dad and my sister terribly today, and I cannot seem to get them off of my mind. Plus, I'm so concerned about HB. This is probably the hardest holiday season I've had ever. Again, I hope your head is feeling better. Talk to you soon,
Cece (A.K.A The Angel of Life)

Suzanne said...


I just listened to music from The Calling on Amazon. Lovely. The Calling is so beautiful, but you know what really broke my heart? Here I am. I love how your write and think. Always have. I'll buy the CD when I get the speaker wire fixed! Also, Amazon has a wonderful page about your history. Your dad, Life magazine, Japan, college, etc. Do you ever feel uncomfortable being so exposed? Don't worry here, you're among friends and we rarely get out!!!


Suzanne said...


I love you. I'm sorry you're in pain today. I'll call tomorrow. Well technically it's tomorrow. Okay, I'll call you later today! Hang on baby. You're going to be fine. Just relax honey and you'll be okay. I'm crying. Knock it off. You're killing me. Just inhale, exhale, relax. I'll call when I return from the park and run errands, probably around 2pm your time. I may have to take Ohno to the Vet's because although he went last week and costs a whopping $155, I think he has to go again. He sounds horrible and it's not a hair ball. I think it's time for antibiotics. Ugh. So if I have to go to the Vet's, we'll chat closer to your dinner time. What will you be serving cuz I'll probably be really, really hungry!!!

I love you darling and what you wrote to MC was absolutely precious. Hope she returns.

XO Talk to you soon.

Suzanne said...


I'm serious. Have you ever considered Yoga? I can just see you finding your bliss.

I love you darling,

Skeeter said...

Hi Suzanne,

Yoga sounds pretty good to me right now really. Kind of knotted up and stiff, need to work out the muscles and relax. Maybe a good Yoga stretching would do the trick.

Best wishes,


Anonymous said...