Wednesday, September 30, 2009

My darling Alan has left me. Uncle Rob drove him to the airport a short time ago. His flight leaves around 2pm. I'm doing this and facebooking because I can't seem to function properly. I have to turn the dishwasher on, but I don't want to get off this chair. I need to throw another load in the laundry, but I don't want to walk to the machine. He just called. I said "I miss you already." He replied "I haven't even left the state." I said "Good, stay right there, I'll come back and pick you up."
~
Yes, he has a beard in the photo. He shaved it off a few days ago. It took two of my very expensive razor blades. Why are razor blades so expensive? He lets his hair get long then shaves that off too. God I'm going to miss that guy.

15 comments:

Leah said...

oh no! gone already? i guess it's been awhile, but still...I'm sorry he had to leave.

That's a very soulful photo.

Suzanne said...

I buried him by writing a new post. I couldn't look at him another second, so I posted my niece instead!!! He is soulful. His plane just took off a few minutes ago. He was supposed to be here until the 15th, but we just learned his dad has bladder cancer. He wants to be with his dad. Leah, he's barely gone and I miss him so much. A month didn't seem long enough. Kylie realized I was in agony the other night and we talked. She helped me through so much pain. I would have made a horrible mom. I can't let go. I don't know how moms do it. I don't even know how most kids are allowed to go to college with out their parents.

e said...

Beautiful photos. Sorry that you're in so much pain still. What do the docs and therapists say about it at this point???
oxo

Leah said...

I'm sorry Suzy. And yes, letting go is the hardest part of motherhood...

Suzanne said...

E

I'm screwed. I have to stay off my foot, but can't. I have a life to live.

XO

Suzanne said...

Leah,

I'm not a mother. So what's my problem? I swear to God, I can barely cope with this. Seriously.

XO

just bob said...

Suze...

Letting go is always difficult, for everyone. You'll get through this like you always do... with the help of your friends and family. Afterall, what choice do you have?

And be gentle with that damn ankle!!!

Suzanne said...

Thanks Bob. You're right. It'll get better and so will my ankle.

XO

just bob said...

I'm always right.

Suzanne said...

You are, aren't you.

Bob, I feel lost. And to make it worse he called his Uncle Rob, but not me. I love him so much and I just feel all empty and this household feels all out of wack. I go to sleep just to stop crying. T-Bone walks around like he doesn't know what to do with himself. I know we're all going to get through this, but right now it very fresh and hurts terribly. I wish I could turn back the hands of time.

Suzanne said...

"it's" not it.

Megan said...

I'm sure you will miss him terribly. But how wonderful that you got the time that you did!

xoxoxo

Suzanne said...

I know.

Suzanne said...

I come back just to look. I wish he was my son.

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