Friday, September 30, 2011
Mestro is dying. He has cancer. I was asked to euthanize him a month ago after talking to the vet and the techs. I couldn't do it. I said, "Give me a month." The month is up. I needed to be with him. I wasn't ready to let him go. I'm still not, but yesterday I called, so Wednesday at 7 pm. I honestly can't believe that that's what I'm going to do. I love him so much. I talked to a dear friend today and asked if I'm doing the right thing. He said "Yes." But I almost feel sick. Those of you who know, know he is probably one of the greatest cats that ever lived. His nic name is Gandi. I can't imagine life without him, but I can't hurt him or make him suffer. So I'm just sitting here thinking about life. The choices you have to make. The losses you endure. Will you ever know if you made the right decision? There are so many questions and most of you know me, I think deeply. I'm going to euthanize him in five days and so every minute matters. So he and I just sit around a lot and love one another. I know he knows. I can feel it. He's so smart and kind. I want to turn back the hands of time, but I'm so grateful that he blessed our lives. That boy taught me one whole hell of a lot about life and grace.