Friday, September 30, 2011

Mestro is dying. He has cancer. I was asked to euthanize him a month ago after talking to the vet and the techs. I couldn't do it. I said, "Give me a month." The month is up. I needed to be with him. I wasn't ready to let him go. I'm still not, but yesterday I called, so Wednesday at 7 pm. I honestly can't believe that that's what I'm going to do. I love him so much. I talked to a dear friend today and asked if I'm doing the right thing. He said "Yes." But I almost feel sick. Those of you who know, know he is probably one of the greatest cats that ever lived. His nic name is Gandi. I can't imagine life without him, but I can't hurt him or make him suffer. So I'm just sitting here thinking about life. The choices you have to make. The losses you endure. Will you ever know if you made the right decision? There are so many questions and most of you know me, I think deeply. I'm going to euthanize him in five days and so every minute matters. So he and I just sit around a lot and love one another. I know he knows. I can feel it. He's so smart and kind. I want to turn back the hands of time, but I'm so grateful that he blessed our lives. That boy taught me one whole hell of a lot about life and grace.

12 comments:

Suzanne said...

I loved animals. I have. There is something about them. Those of you know me well...know. I can't change. I can't I know who I am.

Suzanne said...

I know who I am.

Mike129 said...

I am *so* sorry Suze.

But I am sure you are doing the right thing. You can't let him suffer just to keep you company.

My heart goes out to both of you.

***HUG***

Suzanne said...

Hi darling. Thank you. You know. I've postponed it until Sunday because it's raining I didn't want him buried in wet soil. I'm considering cremation. At my vet's it's $850 in addition to the euthanization. The SPCA does an all inclusive for $350. It's interesting what you have to roll around in your brain. I love that you're still here. It matters a great deal. Steve Jobs died. What do you think? I never owned an Apple, Ipod, etc., but I feel a loss. What a brilliant man and suspect you respect him very much.

Mike129 said...

Give him all the love he can handle until Sunday.

Steve Jobs was an amazing design talent. Apple will have a hard time maintaining stride without him.

Chapter Two said...

thank you for the lovely comment.
I realize this may not be the post to place this comment on but....I have another blog - it is where I moved. email me and I will share the link

dreamingbarefooted@gmail.com

A.V.blogger said...

I'm sorry! I know how u feel Steve jobs was such a talented person.
Condolences from,
http://www.avtopicspot.blogspot.com/

MARIA said...

Merry Christmas to you and your Family!Maria

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Mrsupole said...

Hi Suzanne,

I was just going through my Rss feed and just wanted to check on you. It has been almost a year since you posted this and just wanted you to know you are missed. I have checked other times to see if you have even left a comment but I do not see any.

Anyway I hope all is well and life is being kind to you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

God bless.