My Rose Cottage Studio

2011-09-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

Mestro is dying. He has cancer. I was asked to euthanize him a month ago after talking to the vet and the techs. I couldn't do it. I said, "Give me a month." The month is up. I needed to be with him. I wasn't ready to let him go. I'm still not, but yesterday I called, so Wednesday at 7 pm. I honestly can't believe that that's what I'm going to do. I love him so much. I talked to a dear friend today and asked if I'm doing the right thing. He said "Yes." But I almost feel sick. Those of you who know, know he is probably one of the greatest cats that ever lived. His nic name is Gandi. I can't imagine life without him, but I can't hurt him or make him suffer. So I'm just sitting here thinking about life. The choices you have to make. The losses you endure. Will you ever know if you made the right decision? There are so many questions and most of you know me, I think deeply. I'm going to euthanize him in five days and so every minute matters. So he and I just sit around a lot and love one another. I know he knows. I can feel it. He's so smart and kind. I want to turn back the hands of time, but I'm so grateful that he blessed our lives. That boy taught me one whole hell of a lot about life and grace.

A Day In The Life...

2011-09-25T13:34:00.001-07:00

Every day I wake, or with menopause just think without sleep and I hit the ground running. It doesn't change. Always something. And not just one thing, a multitude. You simply know that when your feet hit the floor it starts all over again. Daunting? Yes. Heavy. Yes. I haven't told you, but Meastro is dying. There's that. I can't euthanize him yet. I know I will find the moment. But it's not "yet." I returned from the park this morning. I went early because life is so crazy busy and I needed time to get "stuff" done after the park. I did my marketing at around 9 am and was selecting a begal. There were two very attractive guys buying fresh baked bread at the, well, I guess, "fresh baked" department. But I was busy wondering "WHERE THE HELL'S MY ONION BAGEL???" I was working on selecting something else when they showed up near me. One guy said, "Hi." I looked up and said "Hi." He said, "Nice pants." Swear to god! I was trying to find my bagel and I looked at him. He was looking at my boobs and saying that. I don't recall any guy in my life talking to me and looking at my boobs while doing so. I almost started to laugh. You know me, but I didn't want to be rude!!!!!! I simply said "Thanks," and got out of Dodge.

2011-09-22T13:43:00.000-07:00

There are days you think very hard about life. For me, today was one. I've seen a bunch of teenagers at the pravillion where I park to feed the ferals. A few days ago they waved when I got out of the car. I liked that. Today as I got out, a girl approached me with a puppy and asked if I had any food. Of course I did. But it was cat food. The dog is beautiful. I got down on my knees and he was so beautiful and gentle. He hadn't eaten and that concerned me, so I gave her what I had and said that once I fed the kitties I'd buy him food. His name is Emmit, her name, Taylor. I did what promised. They were leaving the park as I exited and I was worried, so I stopped near the river and asked "Where do I leave the food?" I was told they'd be back at the pravillion by the time I returned from WalMart. They were. Everyone came out to greet me. All teenagers and homeless. They were so amazing and so beautiful. I swear to god I thought I would die, but I didn't. We all shook hands, we all introduced ourselves. I asked, "Why are you here? This kills me." The reply, "Our parents suck." I know there are horrible parents. I do. Working on cases with Rob, I know. To see such beautiful kids trying to find their way and winter is approaching. Homelessness isn't fun and I don't think it's a choice. I have so many friends who are wealthy. I wonder what they do? With all that money. Vacations, 2nd and 3rd homes. But in the end, what did you do?

I have a dragonfly

2011-09-15T05:40:00.000-07:00

Friends

2011-09-10T05:34:00.000-07:00

Life

2011-09-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

A Bandit

2011-09-03T22:51:00.000-07:00

I don't even think I remember how to post a pic

2011-09-03T14:32:00.000-07:00

2011-03-23T17:44:00.000-07:00

Hey T-Bone. That is a little over exposed. Hey buddy, get out of the way, you're blocking my medal. Sorta! Yes it's true honey, Mommy made that. Blow torch and everything. Yup welded. My first welds. They are so CHUNKY! But look, that arrow stuck to the cold roll steel like glue! You see that?

The first anniversary of Gary's death.

2011-02-19T13:52:00.000-08:00

There are days you just want to hide your head in a blue and white planter, but you can't because life just keeps coming at you. I was so blue today until talking to Mom. She made me laugh so hard. On this day, my mother made me laugh. That is one hell of a woman. Why? Because she was able to make me feel something other than pain, even through her own. I told her about posting on Facebook last night. She asked if I'd removed everything. I said "Yes." She was grateful. She reminded me that life isn't perfect and we're all dealing with so much pain. To be patient. To have faith. On a day I should have been supporting my mother, she was supporting me. Mom's are so amazing. My mom is so gracious and kind to me. I love how she encourages me, how she makes me laugh, how she sees so far beyond my vision. Her soulfulness, wisdom, understanding, love.

Why am I here? Because it's like a sanctuary. It's a beautiful place. When I come back I remember what it was like to be in this space. To have so many amazing friends around me. All the laughs. All the fun I had before being introduced to Facebook. So on this day, where do I come? Here. It represents a happier time in my life and Mom told be today, I have to find my way back, and she's right because I can't go on with this much pain. Gary's never coming back. Ginny and Roy may never pick up the phone. That's the reality. She said "Suzanne, you have a choice..." (Although it's my birth name, Mom never calls me Suzanne unless she means business and trust me, she meant business.) So, I'm a Blogger again. I like that. And now I'm off to visit Kylie and ask for a prayer.

The End...

2011-01-21T02:33:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking about closing this place. Officially. So much on my mind. I loved this place very much.

As the days go by...

2010-12-15T17:48:00.000-08:00

The man. Maestro.

California nights.

California days.

Progress.

Ohno. Trouble.

Primed, but not painted. Yes, of course I have goals!

This is what they pulled out of that HUGE stack. *Suze rolls eyes in head.*

Feathers. I have a HUGE stash. Huge. I love fealthers.

A few. Hawk feathers. You see those?

Baby. AKA, Trouble.

Heartbreak

2010-11-11T19:23:00.000-08:00

Why don't I come back? Because it's heartbreaking.

Memories...

2010-07-30T01:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, hate that yellow date thing, but can't seem to get rid of it. See that red dot on my right calf? You know what that's from? I returned from Denver one late evening. Mommy was standing at the door with the yellow light bulb on waiting for me to hug her. I ran across the yard only to find my dad had left an engine in my path. Yes. An entire engine. I remember screaming "OH MY GOD!!!" I had pain and the wound from hell. My doctor says it's an ingrown hair. Will need surgery! Ahhhhhhhhh, screw it. Sometimes when I shave I screw up and knick it. Which only makes it worse. Oh, and bigger! Family memories. Cherished.

Happiness...

2010-06-27T22:52:00.000-07:00

My amazing sister Tammy on the far left. Her gorgeous daughter Monica then my new about to be niece in law Kayla. The rest I don't know. But I know the three I love. Tam, if you ever see this, I love you so. Tammy, you know. And Monica, if you read this, listening to Citizen Cope, Sideways. I love you both so much. Aunt Suzy XOXOXO

Some of the girls!

2010-06-25T17:04:00.000-07:00

Amanda (my sister Laura's daugher), Des (my sister Janet's daughter) about to give birth to my family's first great grandchild, my darling mom, Alison (Laura's other daughter), Cailee (my sister Charlene's daughter), my beautiful niece Monica (Tammy's daughter), my wonderful future niece in law, Kayla, my amazing niece Valerie (Jan's other daughter). Just some of the crew!

I haven't been around. Why? Because I feel as if I've lost my voice. Writing here was so effortless, but after months on face book, using the least words possible, I feel as if I've lost me. It used to be so easy and now it's not. I miss all of you. I miss this place. The way it always felt so gentle. Like landing in a down pillow. I'll try to write more often if you start showing up again.

XO

I could say it...but I won't.

2010-05-28T23:45:00.000-07:00

My darling Mickey...

No, I'm not the brightest light bulb in the room. How do I set up a new PRIVATE BLOG!!! I can't figure it out for the life of me! If you want the sexy stuff...HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Leah, baby, I can't do this all on my own!!! :)

Just realized the two photo are together. Mickey, the day I rescued him at the vets. Then about a month later. Almost 10 years later, I still have him and love him with all my heart. One of the best kitties ever born. Sometimes you get so lucky. You know me. I'm grateful. A Maine Coon. Over 20 lbs. And awesome cat. Absolutely awesome. Stunning. Loving and beautiful. I'm a lucky woman.

2010-05-21T18:47:00.000-07:00

I know I didn't keep you informed. I know. I'm sorry. This was like my 5th cast or something stupid. I went through 7 or 8. Lots and lots of trouble. Finally ended up in a soft cast again because I couldn't tolerate a hard one. Like Picasso...this was my Pink Phase! I liked it, but she lasted only about 2 days...

Rob's note the night he saw my pink cast!!!

The view from the kitchen window. The last day I saw those crystals. Ohno knocked the candle holder into the sink and killed it. Not much crystal left in this house!

Love you all. Thanks for your patience and friendship.

A day in the life...

2010-05-10T17:40:00.000-07:00

Hummmmmm. An older photo. Maestro with our tree. You know we no longer have the tree, but we still have Maestro!

2010-05-10T01:07:00.000-07:00

I'm lucky. Do I realize that? Yes. Of course. Do I often feel as if I am? No. Of course not. Life is hard. But I look at my kitties and my dog and I know I'm so blessed. I go to the park every day to feed the ferals and I melt. I drive home on 80 looking at the snow on Tahoe. My life is blessed in so many ways. Those who know me best, know I question everything. That's just me.

Challenge: Only took about 20 minutes to get this photo!!!

2010-05-09T11:53:00.000-07:00

TO ALL MY BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS AND FAMILY

BLESSED WITH WEE ONES...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Photo Challenge As Usual...

2010-04-30T19:51:00.001-07:00

Here we go...photo roulette. This is what I got. A design for a cat bed. Yup, still love it. This was from, I think, 2005. Inside, a nice soft cushion. Heaven for a kittty. Just so you know I could not only make it, I could paint it. I'd use 1 x 6's. 1 x 4's would do quite nicely as well. The rose needs to be a bit more centered I see. That I can do with a chalk line! Such plans. Such plans... Could be a dog bed too!

2010-04-28T14:33:00.000-07:00

Mickey

Hummmmmmmm. Why can I put a photo on my blog, but not on the Wild Onion? Not that I know what photo I'm selecting, but at least I'm getting one. And why am I still unable to see my photos? My computer has become a mystery and I'm not smart enough to figure it out. I guess that's why they invented "The Computer Guy." No, I'm not sexist...I actually have a computer guy.

2010-03-28T12:47:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...still just wingin' it with photos! Whatever comes up, comes up. This is your lucky day...it's not a naked one! This was probably taken in 2006 because we still have the 60 foot tree in the back yard. Yup, I'll always miss her.
~

And yes, that's the first coat of primer. You all know how these walls suck up paint. And yes, I agree, the room looks like a wreck. It's supposed to...I'm painting. I wonder what that "patch" is for? Looks like I was testing the primer! LIKE I HAVEN'T PRIMED EVERY FEAKIN' ROOM IN THIS HOUSE! While you're looking around, would you mind straightening that lamp shade?

Bella

2010-03-14T03:08:00.000-07:00

I swear to God, I never know what I'm going to get because with my new computer system (after having the virus removed) I deal with codes and just wing it!!! This is what I got!!! That's Bella on the fireplace mantel. "Baby, what the hell you doing up there?!!! And honey, don't touch that painting...it's worth a lot on money!!!"
~
Bella and her brother Bijou came to me in a desperate time. They were both ferals and very ill kittens. They are so attached to me because I rescued them in their time of need. They stayed at the Vet's for nearly a week to recover then came home. They've never forgotten. They are two of the most brilliant cats I've ever known. Yes, it's true. She's part Siamese, so way, way, way too smart!!!

2010-03-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

January 2010

Yes, for those of you reading my facebook and my blog, I'm using the same photos. I'm doing the best I can. The past weeks have been a struggle. I know you understand. I'll explain soon, I promise. Every day is a challenge and you know from experience how horribly I deal with pain. Thanks for all your love and support because it matters. I love you all. XO

Life's a journey...

2010-03-01T03:47:00.000-08:00

A road less traveled...Nash, my feral.

I can't believe my life. It hurts yet it feels so beautiful. I'm so lucky yet in such pain.

Heartbroken...

2010-02-19T19:41:00.000-08:00

R.I.P.

My baby brother died today.

I love you darling.

Welcome Home...

2010-02-08T19:33:00.000-08:00

My blogging friends. Thanks. For waiting for me to wade through Face Book and find my way. It's been a journey. Why? I don't know. I guess maybe because I needed to feel something I hadn't in awhile. I did. High school friends helped me in so many ways, but now it's time to move on. To come home. To write like I write without much editing. To not worry about fitting something like 145 charaters in a freakin' little box. To just talk with ease. To relax among friends.

You know it's funny. I only had one meltdown on fb in 6 months compared to my one every month here!!! That's funny. You would think the opposite. Nope. Only one and only just recently! Tired I think. Overwhelmed with the enormous weight of trying to get the yard back in shape in a short period, my responsibilities and my brother's accident (no, you don't know about that, but I'll tell you later).

I've been so afraid to come back here. Afraid I'd forgotten how to write a complete sentence. Scared I wouldn't know what to say. How to tell the stories I love of everyday life. But I know now that you're all here, waiting, and so I feel completely at home. And so it's with so much ease that I write this post. You know my garden, my home, my animals and my life. When I write about being stressed about the garden, you understand. Honestly, I don't think I have to write a word. You just know. There is a comfort in that I can't even express.

We've been through so much together and so I write this with much love and appreciation. Thanks for waiting for me to find my way.

Love you all,

Me XO

Back...

2010-01-23T21:23:00.000-08:00

I know...isn't that blurry???!!! Hey, I don't have alot of options right now so just work with me! And yes, I know I've posted it before. Leave me alone. I'm doing the best I can! Had hoped to reload all the Dell software this weekend, now not so sure. Our TV went belly up yesterday. Called Comcast to fix it and was told it's "Not us." How dare they not be responsible. They control my internet, my phone, my tv. They can't fix a blown picture tube too? That's just damn irresponsible.

Whoops!!!

2010-01-20T00:17:00.000-08:00

~UPDATE~

IT'S CECE'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!

Hi baby. Happy Birthday. You know how deeply we love you. I can't access a photo. I just can't. You know what I would want for you, but I can't. We love you so. Thank you for your amazing friendship and love.

Happy New Year...

2009-12-31T20:14:00.000-08:00

Still no photos. To those who have become my dearest friends, thank you. I know I haven't been the best friend lately. I know that. I'll be back and better in 2010. Thank you for your friendship and kindness through all the years. I love all of you so very much. Thank you. Happy New Year! XO

Sent by a friend...

2009-12-17T14:53:00.000-08:00

My dear friend, Nettie sent this as a holiday greeting. She's a retired detective and a hoot! LOL!!!
~
To all my Democrat friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than anyother country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability,religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
~
To all my Republican friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Annette

Still no photo...but imagine Ireland!

2009-12-16T00:31:00.000-08:00

T-Bone and I took our walk today. Walked nearly 1 1/2 miles after only 4 days without the cast. And then it happened...I think I found Ireland. I couldn't get close enough to see the tiny white spot above his upper lip, but I know it's him. I do. I've searched for him for almost 2 years and there he was...at a very beautiful home. Yes, of course I'm smiling. Smart kitty!!! My very, very smart kitty. Life's good. XO

2009-12-13T21:19:00.000-08:00

This photo came with the computer!!! Nope...not mine!!! Haven't figured out how to get mine yet!
~
Okay, this is a funny story. I was going to reserve it for the M&M, but why bother!!! When my computer caught that nasty virus the only thing I cared about was saving my photos. I hadn't backed up what I thought was around 300. Turned out to be over 1,000! The computer expert felt he could retrieve them and did. And then he did something extra special. When the tower was leaving the house I said to Rob, "Honey, there are some very private photos there...do you think he'll see them?" Rob just smiled and shook his head and said "Baby, if he does it's your own f****** fault, but no, he's going to run a program to retrieve everything, so he won't be looking at individual photos." Got the computer back yesterday and was searching for my photos last night. Guess what? They're all under a file he maked "My Photos" with 4 of my naked pics on the file cover. Bastard. I'm laughing, but want to cry!!! Men. Wow...he had to wade through alot of kitties and flowers to get to them! Yes...this is my life! What do you think he's doing with the copies he obviously made?!!! Oh. My. God. Rob hasn't even seen them!!! HA! No, nothing changes at Rose Cottage Studio!
XO

2009-12-13T12:31:00.000-08:00

It's almost Christmas and I'm still showcasing Thanksgiving. I HATE FACEBOOK!!! Okay, not really, but boy did it give me a bad virus. That's why we don't have a photo today folks!! The computer expert was able to save a gazillion photos I failed to backup, but he put them in a file I have absolutely no idea how to access for Blogger and Facebook. Hey...but I'm here!!!
~
Good news. T-Bone and I started walking again yesterday. We walked again today. Both days in the pouring rain. Wonderful! Today I also drove the car and went to the park without a cast since I broke my ankle August 14th. I'm turning the page. Yes, it hurts, but I'm determined to get this behind me. I really am because I've had enough.
~
I'll figure out the photo thing shortly and God do I have some great stories for you. I'll do my best over the next few weeks to share them with you. And to all my dear friends, thanks for sticking with me despite my complete lack of respect for my blog!!!! I'll respond to your comments below. Thanks!
~
Much love, Me XO
Love you all

A Day of Thanks...

2009-11-26T04:38:00.000-08:00

At the Vet's

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE. LOVE YOU!!!
XO

Dusts Off The Dirt And Comes Back Home...

2009-11-16T12:31:00.000-08:00

David Austin English Rose ~ Winchester Cathedral

Bury your face in it and inhale...

it smells like the sweetest honey!

It loves to bloom in Spring and Fall.

I just picked a bouquet a few days ago...

The house smells heavenly.

I'm aware I've been gone a long time. Sorry about that. Facebook has me actin' like a fool!!! But good news, I've given up FarmVille and Mobsters 2, so if I can wean myself a bit more from Facebook, I'll be back to blogging and better than ever!!! God do I have some funny stories! I'm serious! I've missed you all terribly and will be back to normal soon.
~
Kisses and hugs all around and thanks for hanging in here with me. Love you all,
Me! ;)

2009-10-22T00:29:00.000-07:00

Can you believe the parks service allows me to do that? No, me either!

This was the storm. It's absolutely beautiful and sunny now, but I thought I'd show this instead. These guys were fun!

Yes...this is what I look through in rain. A Mercedes is terrific...well, until it rains! Imagine this on the freakin' freeway. Just worse! Can you believe they let me on the bike path!!!???

Yup, even she thinks it's pretty!

Couldn't get enough!

One a those days...

2009-10-14T17:19:00.000-07:00

I remember this day so well and thinking "Oh good god." It was critique day at UCLA and they are often unkind. I'm sitting in front of my painting hoping for the best...

It's been one of those days. Well actually two days. The storm started yesterday. I went to the park and swear to God this is what it was like. The wind was insane. I drive a tank but was being blow all over the road. I stayed in the slow lane doing 45-50! Seriously. Black Beauty is terrific, but a Mercedes has one major flaw...the wind shield wiper. It's famous for the one. Oh it looks all pretty and perfect, but in a rain storm it's a burden because think about it. It has to cover the freakin' entire windshield. By the time it gets back to the driver's side I can't see a damn thing. So I'm in the tide pool lane doing 45, hydroplaning and tractor trailers are passing me, throwing more water. "Thanks buddy...I couldn't see before, now I can't see at all." God please. I had so much trouble driving to and from the park yesterday. It was awful. I wouldn't recomment it. Certainly not in my car.

Then this morning. Not raining at all. I was late, but I was hurrying not to be later. God I really was. Got in the car and the storm clouds were black. Got to the end of the street. DOWNPOUR!!! What do you do? You just sit and laugh. What the hell are you gonna do? So I drive all the way to the park in the pouring rain at 45 mph. Get out and I'm walking on about a million freakin' Sycamore tree balls. All knocked off by the storm. I know. Don't speak. I'm in my cast and my flip flops. My cast is going all Willy Wonka on me as I hit each one and I'm in pain. I go for my running sneakers. Whoop...forgot them. So I'm at the park in my freakin' flip flops and cast. Don't speak. I feed everyone at the first station in the pouring rain. I'm soaking wet and I can't stop laughing. I pull up the 20 lb steel pole and get on the bike trail. I stop at the entrance to my path. You have to understand, the park is a mess. Trees down everywhere, leaves, branches, you name it...it's there. I saw a crew of people cleaning up when I entered the park. They're on community service and have this detail. What did they do? They put every freakin' limb and tree trunk at the entrance to my path. I'm serious. They have literally miles of space to put the shit, but what do they do? They pile it like a damn bon fire at a homecoming weekend to the entrance of my path. I'm wet, I'm in a cast, I'm walking in a flip flop and the puddles are huge and I've had a migraine for about 7-8 days. I looked to the sky. I did. Then I went and moved all of it. There are no words. Trust me. When I looked up I saw them watching me from across the park. Like questioning me! Get over here...I'll kick every single one of your asses. I was so pissed. I moved entire tree limbs. Weighted a ton!!! With a migraine. Trust me, there was no kindness left in me. And then they came while I was back in the woods feeding the ferals. I heard one say "Yup, there she is," because the Mercedes was parked just opposite, so it was pretty obvious. I didn't say a thing, but then I saw one guy throw a branch into the path and that was it. I was out like a flash, but unfortunately I tripped on my plastic Target bag!!! Off it came, so I was laughing by the time I got to the entrance to the trail because it was just too damn funny. But in laughter said to him, "You don't think I know what you're doing? Get back here and get that thing out of my way. " And he did. In front of about 30 people. He needed to learn something today. He's on community service because he hasn't. But this morning he learned something. I know he'll remember me and this day. It's fine to be a smart ass, but not a thoughtless dumb ass. After that I headed home. Oh dear lord!!! Raining so hard. Driving 45, 50, 40, 55, 60, 65...what?! It was hard. I want a BMW again. Much easier!

Then got back to Carmichael. Oh dear lord! Huge car pileup. Hummmmm. If I can just get to that parking lot. Get to the parking lot, take it to Manzanita. Perfect. Going down Manzanita...Oh dear lord! HUGE CAR PILEUP. If I can just get to that parking lot. I did and took it like a maniac! Police everywhere. Huge floods everywhere. But I know all the back ways. I was taking the back way home and saw all the damage to my neighborhood. Wow. I didn't know. Trees, limbs down everywhere. The damage is insane. It really is insane. I had no idea.

Things...

2009-10-10T07:12:00.000-07:00

You bet your ass that's a Buddy L truck!!! I bought it on eBay about 5 years ago. God I love it!!! This is Rob's old office. I took out his Pulp Fiction poster and put up my painting from honors study with Henry Hopkins at UCLA. Trust me...don't enlarge it. I got an A, but it isn't even done. You see that huge glob of paint to the right. That shouldn't be there!!! This was the Ben Franklin painting!

For god sakes don't enlarge this. I have too many wrinkles.
Just an update. I have a wicked scar and a hematoma. I have to see the dermatologist to figure out what to do. I have no idea what to do about the wrinkles and grey hair! Rob's Pulp Fiction poster. His was much bigger!!!

Okay, it's official...I'm late for the park because of all of you.

Wee Wee 1 and Wee Wee 2. Trouble. And yes, it's still primer. I haven't painted the walls yet. God, cut me some freakin' slack.

What? A day without Alan is a day without sunshine.

Nutty Rusty!

Alan had a $10 bill and a few singles. The kitties left the singles alone, but loved the big bucks!

You bet your ass that's her!

2009-10-09T17:39:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BkOWMXYMnQ

My darling nephew is into dirt bikes. I never told him what I know. He gave me this beautiful song and I just learned it's associated with motorcycles. The motorcycles I know. My friends raced. They were good. Really good. I didn't tell Alan. Why? I don't know. I remember about 5 years ago driving down the freeway in the early morning. A Sunday morning. I seemed like the only one awake, then they came. About 6-8 racers. They were probably traveling back from Sears Point. Just me and them. I had the BMW before I wrecked it. They pulled up along side and we looked at one another. One gave me the thumbs up. I'll remember that morning all my life. There's something about German engineering everyone appreciates. Then they were gone. I have beautiful memories of darling friends who raced. They were good. It's amazing to see someone lay down on their knee and make a turn. It's amazing. Alan doesn't know this about me. Probably know one does.

Alan, I love you so much. And yes, this is how my friends raced. No. I didn't tell you. I told you they raced...I just didn't tell you how.

Ohno...

2009-10-04T19:03:00.000-07:00

Remember when I found Ohno as a baby? Shivering and the last one waiting to be adopted? I didn't walk, I ran with him. He was trouble from the beginning. Just pure trouble. Remember when he fell into the fish tank!!! Oh my God that was just awful, but in a really funny awful way!!! It wasn't as if we didn't have enough cats. We did, but Ohno needed us. And we needed him.

As you all know he's named Ohno because every time he'd walk into a room you'd hear "OH NO!!!" Yes, he was that much trouble. He loved his Dad's office. Spent hours there on the desk next to Rob memorizing cases and helping strategize. Then the wee divorce and Ohno went into a funk he's never returned from. He was the funniest, friendliest, most amazing, well adjusted kitty in the whole world, but the divorce killed his spirit. He became petty and mean and has remained so. He needs to be in a house where he's an only kitty, but I can't let him go because I love him so and I keep thinking everything's going to be okay.

He grew up to be such a beautiful boy. Remember how tiny he was? He's big and solid now. He looks light because he's all silky, but must weight 17-18 lbs. He's just all muscle. I pick up Mickey and he's a Maine Coon, so he's big. He's over 20 lbs, but feels light and delicate. Ohno feels like a damn tank. I don't really know how to explain it. You have to feel it. The boy is dense, but not in a dumb way!

Newman's been gone 9 months, almost to the day. He died on a full moon, so every full moon matters. I've waiting to see who would become the alpha male. It's taken a long time as most of you know. I realized tonight, it's Ohno. Without a doubt.

I looked at him tonight and know I will never give him to someone else. You all know me. That isn't in my heart. Somehow we will all navigate this new life. Without Newman. Without Rob.

Challenges...

2009-10-03T22:27:00.000-07:00

Black beauty and I were driving up the freeway this morning on the way to the park. I hit the 80 to 5 split and there was a car right next to me. He didn't see me and started to pull into my lane. I swerved, layed on the horn then corrected and came back into my lane. It happened in an instant, but was in slow motion. I felt Black Beauty slide. Really slide. I don't think any other car would have survived what I did to her at 80 miles/hour. I feel lucky to be here tonight. She's a tank. My darling friend in Texas lost her niece to a similar accident in the past month.

I arrived at the park to find a wonderful homeless friend. He'd just stopped by to say hello, but I had a truck full of water bottles for him to recycle. We talked, laughed and had a nice chat while I fed the kitty and the skunks and birds at the first station. Then it was up the bike trail with Black Beauty to the second. You all know because of my broken ankle I'm allowed to take the car up the trail. I get some odd looks, but most people are generally very nice. They understand because they've seen me in a cast and crutches and now in my "boot!" I parked the car across from the path and a slew of cyclist past, waved and gave me the thumbs up. Then there was a couple who followed. Two kitties had come out to greet me on the trail and ran when the two cyclist approached. I laughed and then turned when the guy said "You contribute to that shit you know?" I've learned a lot in the past year. After what I'd just been through on the freeway and with the guy in the golf cart, I laughed and blew him off. He didn't like that, he turned around and said..."I'll come back, skin them and turn them into furry slippers."

This is a man who looks completely normal. The woman with him too. He has no idea who I am or what I do. He has no idea I've rescued tons, have everyone spay or neutered, they've all had the best vet care, great food, etc. This man knew nothing and that is what he said to me on this beautiful California morning. I didn't even look at him, I just gave him the finger. I'd do it again. Oh, you bet I'll see him again. I'll recognized him. He bikes almost every day. I thought about the lesson. What am Isupposed to learn from an ignorant middle aged man? His wife, girl friend, friend, lover, behaved as if he'd said nothing out of the ordinary,but I thought "What makes a human being that ugly?" What? This is probably a man that works in your office. Who you commicate with daily, but in private he is an ugly human being. How does someone get that way. And why?

I wouldn't trade a single moment of my life working with ferals at the park. Not a single moment. Ferals have taught me about grace, trust, patience, kindness, endurance, but also about absolute pain and heartbreak. I wouldn't change a single thing because as you all know, I've endured coyotes, storms, fire and very scary homeless guy moments. I've lived an amazing life and I wouldn't change a damn thing. So that guy? He doesn't phase me. And if he ever stops to "chat," I feel sorry for him already.

XO Me

2009-09-30T13:55:00.000-07:00

This is a tiny photo. Why? I don't know. I lifted it from my nieces facebook and then I told her. She said it was okay. I should have asked why she made it so tiny. Is she punishing me or something?! So now you've met Alan, Monica (yes, she swears A LOT on her FB ~ we're all a bunch of sailors), Amanda, Alison, Mom, Laur and Cailee. Only about 50 more to go! And yes, I buried Alan down below. I couldn't come here and see his face every time I logged on.
~
Just so you know, Monica is in college and I think 19. She's a sweetie and a bit of a reble!
~
Monica, love you darling and thanks.
Aunt Suzy XO

2009-09-30T13:02:00.000-07:00

My darling Alan has left me. Uncle Rob drove him to the airport a short time ago. His flight leaves around 2pm. I'm doing this and facebooking because I can't seem to function properly. I have to turn the dishwasher on, but I don't want to get off this chair. I need to throw another load in the laundry, but I don't want to walk to the machine. He just called. I said "I miss you already." He replied "I haven't even left the state." I said "Good, stay right there, I'll come back and pick you up."
~
Yes, he has a beard in the photo. He shaved it off a few days ago. It took two of my very expensive razor blades. Why are razor blades so expensive? He lets his hair get long then shaves that off too. God I'm going to miss that guy.

Home...

2009-09-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am. I've been navigating various landscapes, but this is where I belong. Why? I don't know. But I exhale and know this is the most comforting place. I know many of you have smiles on your face. I know.

I have a funny Discovery Park story. Why else are we here???!!! Okay, it started yesterday. I went as always, but ran into a whole hell of a lot of fences. A HUGE concert over the weekend. Nothing new. I've been through them. The front gate attendant told me to just swivel every gate and get through. I did. I was up at my first station when I noticed a guy on a golf cart eyeing me. I waved. He didn't wave back. He asked what I was doing. I said "feeding the ferals." He was a young kid and I don't think I gave him much respect. Then I thought I heard him say "I'm going to lock you in." I shook the cobwebs out of my brain and though, "You kidding dude?" I finished what I was doing, then drove the car up the trail and finished there too. I drove back, only to find the f****** gate locked with zippie ties. You know me. I stood there a few minutes then I went to the car, found the scissors and cut every fucking one (4). I was so pissed. He came flying up and asked what I was doing. I told him to get out of my fucking face. How rude. He called me rude for cutting through his ties. I nearly strangled him. I looked him in the eye (really) and said "Look at me, you will remember this day all the days of your life. You fucked with the wrong woman. I have more power than you ever will and support from every person at this park." He wouldn't move out of my way and I said, "You fucked with the wrong woman, now get out of my fucking way." You all know me in blogger land. I have never been that pissed. Never. He held the gate open and I drove through while his partner was up in arms. The hell with both of them. I seriously have never been that angry. I could have plowed them down with Black Beauty and not given it a second thought. Yes, that's how pissed. He actually had the nerve to say to me, "I won't be seeing you tomorrow, will I." Hummmmmmmmmm. I replied, "Oh honey, you have no idea." This morning I was escorted in by the head park ranger. Pricks will always be pricks. Always. And I will always be in like flin. Amen.

2009-09-17T03:35:00.000-07:00

Phatty~Foo~Foo

Brother Lee ~ Citizen Cope

Enjoy. XO

P.S. I'll be back soon. I'm navigating facebook and having fun, but I won't give up blogging!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMkIE9nzah0

Changes...

2009-08-31T20:50:00.000-07:00

My darling nephew Alan is flying out in a few days to take care of old Aunt Suzy. But he can only stay three weeks because he has a big bike race to attend. Somehow I have to get well in three weeks! That's funny because this cast is going to be on for months and months. Hummmmmmmmmmmm. Damn.

I realize the more I write the less friends visit. Oh well. I'm just going to keep writing. I don't really care. I'll get through this crap one way or another. Alone if necessary and writing. I guess you always have to be happy to get comments on Blogger. I'm not happy. I'm in agony. My damn foot is broken and life is very complicated. I guess that's not good enough. Oh well.

Alan's coming out in a few days.

2009-08-31T20:48:00.001-07:00

2009-08-31T14:58:00.000-07:00

I walked out of Taget one morning and saw this. It had been a really challenging morning at home and at the park and you all know me, I'm not religious, but I think God was aware I was having difficulty. It was a way to remind me to walk with an open heart, no matter what.

This has been another hard day, filled with numerous challenges. I was late to the park and when I tried to start Black Beauty she kept quitting. My worst nightmare. I drove her up the street but turned around before coming to the light. I knew she wouldn't make it. I pulled back in the driveway and started her a few more times. No luck keeping her going. I softly touch the steering wheel as I often do and said to God, "Please help me." And then I said to St. Francis, "Please don't do this to me." I called Rob. He was with a client and headed into court. He couldn't help me but said he come after court. I called my MIL. She was ill and out of it. She couldn't help at all. I sat for what seemed like a long time and just asked for help. I started the car and she ran. The sound was different so I knew I was okay. I made it to the park and back home. Being at the park today was hard. My foot hurt so much and I was struggling to manage, but I saw a dear young homeless friend and found courage. He teaches me wonderful lessons about life and I'm so honored to know him. When days seem hard, my homeless friends remind me that my life is beautiful and so do my darling feral cats

I arrived home and within minutes the doorbell rang. It was my neighbor's son. My neighbor is a very elderly gentleman and his son has come to live with him. His son is probably 55. If he's 50 he looks way the hell older than me!!! He informed me they had reported me to the water department for flooding their lawn. I've learned from Rob to not react. To be a diplomat, so I listened and didn't speak. Hummmmmmmmm. He said "You're watering every day and flooding our lawn." I had no idea what the hell he was talking about because you know I only water the back yard once or twice a week. It seemed like such an odd conversation and I just spoke very little and listened. When I said "I only watered on Saturday and yes, I fell asleep, so your yard probably flooded, but other than that, I have no idea what you're talking about." He said "Maybe you have a leak." I replied "No, I'd notice something like that." I was very nice. I didn't overreact, I didn't get upset. I just felt puzzled. He wasn't terrible kind and kept telling me I had to stop watering every day because my irrigating was flooding his father's yard. I thanked him for stopping by.

I called Rob. He was in court. You can't have a phone on in court, so he walked out. I told him the story and said we'd probably be fined because I wanted him to be prepared, but it didn't make sense. We've had to go over and tell our elderly gentleman to turn off his water on way to many occasions. He would flood our yard all the time. And when I'm up at night his irrigation system is ALWAYS on. Every single night. Even Monday night and no one is supposed to water in Sacramento on Monday. And then it comes on almost every single morning. Even on days he isn't supposed to water. Rob and I realized their flooding their own damn yard and don't even know. His moron son comes over to blame me and I've done nothing wrong. It's them!!! They're flooding their own damn yard. And they've reported me for doing nothing wrong.

There are days that are challenging. Rob said "Don't worry, we'll take care of it." Yes, I'm sitting here shaking my head. It's so stupid it's almost too hard to believe.

Of course I want to go over an tell him, but we're just going to deal with the water department instead. It's so mind bogglingly stupid.

XO

A kitty and his roses...

2009-08-31T06:00:00.000-07:00

Remember all the beautiful stuff about life.

2009-08-30T05:20:00.000-07:00

The side yard.

It was all pea gravel, but I decided to plant it.

Before I leave I have to say a few things. Kylie. Cinnamon and TWM...you crack me up!!!

Kylie called me tonight. One of the best phone calls ever. If you ever get a phone call from Australia, answer it. It's a gift. Her voice is Heaven. If you've ever spoken to Cece, you know how beautifully words leave her mouth. Kylie's the same, just different. Her Australian accent is to die for. It's just so, so beautiful . I had to stop her some times in mid sentence just to say "You're voice is so beautiful." And it is. I don't really know how to explain it. You have to hear it to understand. Talking to her was so lovely. I recommend it!!!

I'm stuggling with my ankle. It's very painful. I'm thinking of having my nephew fly out to help because I'm basically left to handle everything on my own and it's hard. My sister said he'd get on a plane in an instant. Moms and dads out there, maybe you can offer some advice. Alan is a gorgeous kid. All my nieces and nephews are stunningly beautiful. I'm afraid he'll arrive and get so caught up in the California lifestyle he'll completely ignore me!!! Of course I'm laughing. I can just hear him say "Yup, I'm taking care of my aunt for rent!!!" But not really. Rent free of course, but no taking care of Aunt Suzy!! What should I do? I need help

XO

2009-08-29T21:15:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving for a while. Take care.

XO

Frame It Out...

2009-08-29T19:25:00.000-07:00

I have three amazing younger brothers. One is a master carpenter. Whenever I have construction questions I call him and he always says the same thing, "Suzy, you know what to do." He thinks just because I studied architecture for so long I have all the answers. I don't. That's why I rely on him!!! I had a grate problem a few years ago. I needed to replace it, but the grate available at Home Depot was too small. I called Wayne. "Honey, what do I do?" His reply, "Frame it out." Hummmmmmmm. I hadn't thought of that!!!

He was absolutely right. I purchased all my supplies and T-Bone and I got ready to roll.

I actually loved the new look. It went with the door frame. See how I made everything match perfectly!!! Oh, that's just primer. I still have to paint.

No kitty was lost.

Who you talkin' to!?

Shabby Chic slip covers when they still actually functioned as slip covers. Now they look like a piece of crap!

Wayne, I love you my darling brother. Look how pretty. God I love primer!

I know. Lovely. Yes, I did that!!!

Rest In Peace...

2009-08-29T13:47:00.000-07:00

You know how you don't remember much before you were five. I remember JFK's funeral. I watched it with my grandmother. I think I was four. I remember every detail. I remember my grandmother crying. A few years later I watch her cry when Bobby was buried. I'm very liberal. My grandmother was very conservative, but loved the Kennedys. She, like so many others had hope and faith that they would make the world better. With each death I witnessed her sorrow. I was just a kid, but for some reason I understood. And then Teddy came along and change the way the world works. I grew up as a child of the 60's and 70's. I remember segregation and always asking "WHY?" I couldn't understand for the life of me and it caused me so much pain. My grandmother always reminded me "It will change in your lifetime, but probably not in mine." It did change in her lifetime. It did. I remember with fondness the legislation that change the face of America. My grandmother hugged me so tight I could barely breath. She whispered in my ear, "I love Teddy." I hope he heard her and all the women who spoke that day.

I watched the Memorial yesterday, and today I watched the funeral. I cried because my grandmother would have been so proud of all his achievements. He honored and loved women, children, animals, everyone. He championed all of us and I'm so grateful he was part of my life. I hung my flag in his honor and when I left to go to the market a while ago I was amazed when I saw a street lined with flags. Almost every house has one. One has a big one and tons of little ones lining the pathway with a huge sign "We Love You Teddy!!!" I can't imagine this is the only street in America with flags flying in honor of a truly amazing man. But this is my street, my memory, my grandmother, my Teddy. I'm so grateful he graced my life and changed the face of America. Less than 40 years ago many white people did not respect Black America. Everything changed in the 60's. Everything. Thank God for forward thinking people. Thank God.

Rest in peace my dear, dear man.

XO

Part III

2009-08-27T01:05:00.001-07:00

Of course it's pink. Neon pink I might add!!! Unlike Bob's pink cast photo, I have no toes. How rude. I can't move in this freakin' thing.

The bathroom. Yes, I put roses in it!!!

A view from the kitchen sink.

Rob left a note a few nights ago. I'd just gotten my pink cast.

Today. I'm healing rapidly. I feel lucky. I wish my ankle would get with the program.

Sunday the 23rd. Waiting for my man to come back from the sea. NO, not really. I'm in the Target parking lot and he's shopping for paper towels while I try to figure out what the hell to do with my life.

Get off that damn slipcover!

A miracle. Both men and women take note. This was recommended by my Podiatrist and my cast tech. The stuff is insane. I was told to use it all around my eyes because I was so swollen and the concern was I'd get more wrinkles. I listened. I love it. You all know I have severe allergies and can't use a lot of stuff on my face. But this is perfect. No reaction what so ever. It's great. I suggest you slather your whole body with it!!! My cast tech said "Suzanne, if people used this in their 20's they'd have no wrinkles in their 50's." I agree!!! I paid about $7 in the hospital pharmacy, but noticed you can buy it at your local drug store on sale for about $5. Buy it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPgbHV4kUGo

Mr. M., this is for you. Apparently it isn't available in the UK or Australia yet, but it's hit here in the states. When I watch it I think of you. A singing doctor.

Now for some personal news. I think I'm in love with my Podiatrist. You all know how I love Seinfeld. Most of my cats are named after Seinfeld characters. There is a great scene with Newman (the postal worker) at the farm. The farmers daughter has fallen in love with Newman and upon Newman's exit she yells "NORMAN, I LOVE YOU!!!" That's why our cat was named Newman and why his nickname was Norman. I had to have X-rays Monday and a new cast. If any of you have watched "Scrubs," you know what I'm talking about. Podiatry is like Scrubs. The place is a freakin' hoot. Why? I don't know. They're just a bunch of comedians. I saw my Podiatrist and he's gorgeous, smart, funny and he loves me!!! And I love him. He said my X-rays looked beautiful. I said "Well, that's really nice, but I think you should know the truth. I use my cast like a walking cast." He looked at me a long time. He didn't speak. He just looked at me. I said "knock it off." Then I told him about the kitty. I left the front door open and Rusty ran outside. I ran out after him in just my flip flop and my cast. I got him quickly and headed back to the house only to discover the door had closed and it was locked. I was pissed. I went around to the slider in the back yard. I'd just watered so I was walking with my cast in water. The slider was locked. I went to the living room window. It was unlocked. I had to go back for the ladder. I got the ladder, opened the window and threw Rusty in. I was pissed. My cast was soaking wet. I was pissed. Did I mention I was pissed? I was pissed. I climbed in the living room window.

Dr. A looked at me a long time and then he spoke. He said "Are you from NY? You're from NY aren't you?" I replied with glee..."Yup upstate, Woodstock area, Hudson Valley, Catskills, home of Hiawhatha." The man was a gonner. One of the absolutely funniest moments of my life. We just connect on some stupid level. He said "Get the hell out of here. " How rude. My darling Dave, my cast guy had come to rescue me and I was hobbling out when I yelled "I love you Norman." The man nearly died!!! "I'll be back in 3 weeks to claim you. Wear a tux, we're getting hitched!" That in a nutshell is my life. And yes, I'm in love with my Podiatist. Trust me, you'd be too! I realize I'm not dead yet!!!

Love Suze

P.S. Oh, I forgot to mention this. When Dr. A asked if I was from NY I asked him why he'd ask that. He knocked me on the head with the papers in his hand and said "Because you're TROUBLE...just plain trouble." *Suze rolled eyes in head.* Rob used to say the same thing. I don't know what it is about the guys in my life and that word. Frankly, I think I'm pretty close to perfection!!!!!

A Walk Down Memory Lane or Suzy Gets KO'd By A Two Pound Kitty: Part II

2009-08-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

August 14th-wee hours of morn August 15th. Yup, it's broken (right ankle). That's the fibula, and I might add, the fattest part. When I break something I don't mess around.

August 15th (Saturday) . My darling first cast. I miss her. She was softer and easier to walk on because she was, well, a soft cast. No, of course I wasn't supposed to walk on her, but had to many times. She was applied the night of the "incident" to get the swelling down and prepare for the hard cast (oh joy). We said our goodbyes 3 days later. I do miss her so. However, I don't miss looking at my swollen, purple toes!

August 16th (Sunday). Back to the ER. Before going I tried to get more blood out of my hair, but it was hard. My wound had started bleeding through the liquid stitches and swelled . Not good. I was also in tremendous pain. Trust me, I feel as bad as I look.

August 17th (Monday). I need a tan! They don't make a cast with plaster anymore, instead they use fiberglass. Did you know that? I didn't. I thought I was going to have to lug around 10 lbs. of plaster, but instead I'm only dealing with a 3 lb. cast and it's custom!!! Yup, molded right to every little curve I have. Painfully so. Fortunately my bone didn't have to be set, it simply had to be pushed in and held in position while the cotton and fiberglass dried. Pleasant? NO, OF COURSE NOT!!! You nuts?!

Monday the 24th I go back for x-rays through the cast. If everything's fine, the cast stays on 4 more weeks. It's then removed, more x-rays are taken and 1 of 3 things will happen: 1) I'll go into a walking cast, 2) The cast will go back on, or 3) Surgery. I'm hoping for the walking cast, but I haven't been a very good patient because I'm always on my feet and not using my crutches enough. Monday's x-rays are very important, so cross your fingers.

However beautiful this cast is, Monday it's being removed and a new one put on. This one is killing me - something's wrong.

August 18th (Tuesday). I decided to chronicle the healing process. Yes, it's true, I look like crap, but give me some credit, I removed most of the blood before taking this photo for you (and I was told not to, but I could tell doing so wouldn't impact the scar). You're welcome. For God sakes, DO NOT enlarge this photo. Trust me, this is big enough! And yes, I feel as bad as I look. And yes, OF COURSE I have wrinkles, I'm 50. :)

August 19th (Wednesday). Still unable to wash my hair or face because I can't get water on the liquid stitches or the "glob" you see will melt away. My instructions were "Try to keep it on at least a week." Most of my photos were taken in the afternoon, so the swelling isn't too bad around my eyes, but I swear to God there were mornings I'd get up and my eyes were so swollen I couldn't see my feet!

Same day. Nasty. Oh, and my lip hurts too. And my foot's killing me.

August 20th (Thrusday). The stitch glue has come off and as you can see the top portion of the cut is healing beautifully, but the bottom, not so good. I was told in the ER during the second visit that I've developed a hemotoma (that's the big bump you see). A hemotoma is a sac of blood that developes to protect the body from internal bleeding or can be the result of hemorraging. Apparently mine is there to protect me from a brain injury. It should be absorbed into my body over time, but if not, believe it or not, will have to be surgically removed. In the meantime it's managed to pull my cut apart and cause more bleeding. What?! Of course I'm laughing. *Suze looks up to the sky and yells "Hey God, if you exists, cut me some freakin' slack!"*

Friday, August 21st. Still haven't washed my hair because my ankle hurts too much and I'm exhausted, but my face is starting to look and feel much better. Did you notice the improvements? Come on, look harder!

Do you realize a little over a year ago I didn't have a single scar on my face? What's this now, number 4? 3 kitties, 1 tree limb and 4 concussions later, I'm still standin' baby!!!

Love you all and thanks for your support and well wishes. I have the best blogging friends!

XO Suze

Suzy Get's KO'd By A Two Pound Kitten: Part I

2009-08-21T19:00:00.000-07:00

Guilty

I think my last entry on Blogger was to Random Chick and 10:20 pm Friday the 14th. The kittens were racing through the house as I got up to make tea and rather than run down the hallway as they had been, the first one made a sharp right into my office. It all happen so quickly, I barely remember how it happened. I just remember trying to get out of the way so I wouldn't hurt her and then I remember intense pain and the hardwood floor. When I woke up I was laying in something and felt very confused and was in pain. I got up, turned on the overhead light and realized I'd been lying in a pool of blood probably 3ft x 2ft. It looked like a crime scene and I was very scared. I looked at my clothes and I was covered in blood, my hair was matted to my head and could feel blood still running down my face. I started for the bathroom and was in agony. There was something wrong with my foot and the pain was excruciating. I got to the mirror and couldn't believe my eyes. I was covered in blood and I still didn't even know why and I didn't know where the blood was coming from. I cleaned my face enough to discover a huge gash from above my eyeblows, down my nose and across part of my cheek. I held a washcloth to it, but I couldn't get it to stop bleeding. I got to the kitchen to get paper towels to clean up all the blood. I was crying, the animals were all obviously traumatized and I was very confused. Then I remembered the kitten, trying to get out of the way and the floor, but that's all I could remember and that's all I can remember even now. I thought I'd hit the floor and went unconscious. I tried to clean up all the blood but couldn't do it because I was in so much pain and I knew I had to get to the emergency room. I called Rob and asked him to come immediately and help me clean up and get to the hospital. That was just after 11 pm and he had left here at around 9pm. We were scared I'd been unconscious for almost 2 hours because I wasn't aware my last blog entry was at 10:20. The man flew here. I sat against the dishwasher, waited and sobbed surrounded by animals who love me very much.

When Rob arrived and saw the scene I know he was scared. I tried to help him clean up, but my foot hurt too much. He told me to get dressed, we were going to the hopital immediately. I turned on the shower. He said, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I said "I can't going looking like this. I have to get some of this blood out of my hair." "SUZANNE, IT'S THE EMERGENCY ROOM. THEY DON'T CARE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE." I got in the shower with blood streaming down my face and standing on one foot. I felt so sick I lasted all of about 1 minute. I got out as much blood as possible and that was it. My hair was still matted with blood, I didn't brush my hair, didn't dry it, put it in a bun, got dressed and we left.

I was rushed right in upon entering the hospital and the doctor came very quickly. Rob said I couldn't have hit the floor with they type of gash I had and the doctor agreed. They agreed I'd hit the corner of the wall and then fallen to the floor and was probably unconscious before I landed. I couldn't remember the wall, just insane pain. The concern was swelling on the brain and being unconscious for so long some of the blood had congealed on the floor and in my hair. Also, my ankle was getting bigger by the minute. Rob was hoping it was a sprain, but I was convinced it was broken. I was given a ct scan within minutes and then had x-rays. The doctor returned to inform us I obviously had a concussion, the ct scan revealed I didn't have any liquid intruding on my brain (THANK GOD) and we were all very relieved, but the x-rays showed a broken ankle. A broken Fibula to be exact. I'd have to wear a soft cast for 3-7 days until the swelling went down, then a hard cast for 6-8 weeks.

Then it was time to stitch my face, but I was still bleeding so badly he wasn't able. I had to hold a compress on it for over a half hour before it stopped. The doctor had planned on conventional stitches, but at the last minute decided to use liquid stitches (sorta like glue) to cause minimal scarring (in hindsight this wasn't the best idea).

Obviously it's been a diffucult, painful week and unfortunately it isn't over yet. It's going to be a long, long haul.

I'll write Part II with photos maybe later this evening if I feel up to it.

XO Suze

P.S. Cece, this is why I didn't call (just for safetly purposes, next time call Rob when you don't hear from me)! And yes, Leah, I'll get my email address to you as soon as possible. And Walking Man, I still have Whitman, and Em, I swear to God I have a package! I try, I really do.

Twins, Separated At Birth...

2009-08-14T01:13:00.000-07:00

That's my blogging friend Otin.

That's my blogging friend Travis.

As an artist I can spot similaries in an instant. This one cracks me up.

XO
~

But you know me. I wish the fish got away.

A Dogs Devotion To Teddy Bears...

2009-08-12T15:06:00.000-07:00

After finding the first gorgeous bear, I realized I couldn't give it to him. Then I tried with the second. Nope still couldn't. Then the third. Nope. I tried, trust me. Don't look at me like that! I knew how much T-Bone loved his previous teddy, so I tried. And yes, I felt very guilty because he would just sit at the bookcase and look up every day hoping and praying for a miracle. Well, I don't know how it happened, but I suspect a kitty was involved because one day I arrived home from the park and there he was with Molasses. Apparently miracles do happen at Rose Cottage!!!

Best friends. Whoops looks like Molasses is already missing some vital parts. What happened to your eye pumpkin?!" "Oh, and your nose looks like you might need surgery."

"I wub you so, so much Mawassus."

"Are you sweepy Mawassus?" "Me too."

I walked into the living room to find her relaxing. Alone. A girl needs alone time. You know I'm not a fan of cheap ribbon, but I'll tell you something, that's some damn fine cheap ribbon!!! I keep tying a bow and T-Bone keeps picking poor Molasses up by it and shaking his head violently. Before you know it she's bouncing off boths sides of his head and her bow's untied again, but look at it, it still looks like new.

Walked down the hall to find this on the rug. "Girl, you just take some more me time! "

Then, this was the best. I woke one night and went to the kitchen for water, only to find her. I LMAO!!!!! I told her, "Don't worry honey, you'll be fine by morning."

XO!

Next post, kittens!

P.S. I'll respond to the comments below in the next few days. I had to post something new because that one was making me cry too much! Thanks for all the beautiful comments. XO ;)

A Remarkable Morning...

2009-08-11T01:17:00.001-07:00

Those of you who know me, know I feed ferals at this park every morning. Something happened this morning that just killed me. I drive in and feed the birds first to keep them from the kitty food, then feed the kitty near my car and then the skunks just across the way to keep them from the kitty food. I often tell you all how close I am to skunks and I'm not kidding. Do you believe me? Probably not, but it's true.

As I was feeding everyone near the car, a couple was walking down the bike trail. Then a skunk ran across because he wanted food. I told him to knock it off and away we went into the little clearing in the woods where I feed him and his friends. I was surrounded by 5 skunks within inches. Literally. Maybe 6 inches at most. That's my life. The couple walked past and stopped to look. The husband said "Oh my God." I got up and walked out and said "I know, aren't they lovely?" And he said "Do you realize how special you are?" His wife was obviously Japanese and he was SO zen and he said a word in Japanese I didn't understand. He said "you are gifted and it is such an honor to see you with all of them. Do they ever spray you?" I replied "No." And he said again, "I'm honored to see this and he clasp his palms and he bowed, and I did too. What he did was out of absolute respect and I was so humbled I started to cry. It is an honor to be bowed to. It is the ultimate respect in Buddhism. I took Hatha Yoga for some time and we always ended our class with palms joined, bowing to our teacher out of absolute respect..

In Buddhism, the joining of palms has very symbolic meaning. You're acknowledging the shared essence of the Self and other beings. It is a sign of utmost respect. In Yoga it literally means "The light within me honors the light within you." When I started to cry both immediately came and embraced me. We all wish one another a happy life and walked away. I still had to walk up the bike trail and into the woods to feed the other ferals and skunks and birds. But I never stopped crying. I cried while there, I cried on the walk back to the car, I cried in the car, I cried at the market and the gas station. I'm still crying. Today, I was paid the highest honor and I think I'm writing this so I never forget it actually happened.
~
XO to all

Ambivalent...

2009-08-10T03:51:00.000-07:00

Rob has a buyer. Someone from the San Francisco Bay Area. So he stopped by today and cleaned Black Beauty up then drove her to a parking lot, stuck some printer paper over the license plate and began the photo shoot.

These are just a few of the photos.

I love her very much because she's seen me through tons of crap and my butt fits perfectly in that seat. She embraced me when the BMW was a gonner after hitting that stupid Mustang. Will this guy buy her? Yes. But I don't want him to. I don't want her to leave me. Yes, I know she's just a car, but she's so much more than just a car and I don't know how to explain it.

Actually, yes I do. I have always, always, always been a woman of independant means, until recently. I've made all the decisions about my life and enjoyed every minute. Now I'm not in control, through no fault of my own, and I'm in agony. Losing Black Beauty is simply a reminder I'm not in control. I'd never sell her. Really, I wouldn't. I mean, look at her, she's adorable!

2009-08-08T02:49:00.000-07:00

This is an older photo and I apologize! Too tired to take a new one!
~
Yes, it's true, I'm 50 today. I'm uncertain about 50. I talked to my mom and MIL yesterday and they told me to embrace it because the "best is yet to be." What the hell are they smoking?

XO

Insomnia...

2009-08-03T02:32:00.000-07:00

I've been lucky. Always slept like a baby. Until recently. Menopause is going to kill me. I've become a night owl and I'm pissed.

This is often what my night looks like now. A good magazine, a lavender sachet (calming), cat food, a cat, lip balm and what the hell is that? Coffee?!!!! No wonder I'm up!

Beauty found in the wee hours of morn.

XO

P.S. Oh, and hedges. Look at that. You realize the hedge is supposed to be around the bottom of the flag. I let it grow because the bloom is so fragrant. What? I did trim it back a bit so the kitties could see out the windows.

Fruit, A Rose, A Cop, A Skunk, A Dog And An Award. Literally.

2009-08-02T11:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, this OF COURSE is not the post I'd planned, I'll get to that eventually. A few things happened today that are so funny I must share them. No, veggies and fruit aren't funny, but I wanted to share (brag about) my haul from the 99 Cent Store! Look at that. Isn't it beautiful. Cost around $8 and most is organic. The apricots were free because my neighbor's tree limbs hang in my yard. Just so you know the watermelon, 2 for 99cents. At the regular markets the exact same watermelon is selling for $3.99-$5.99 each, even at Trader Joe's. Bindi get your cute self over here because I'm going to plant one right on your cheek Missy for telling me about the 99 cent store. THANK YOU!

Looking out the kitchen window.

And now the fun begins!!! I love Sunday mornings because they're lazy, quiet and peaceful when I'm out and about in the morning. I'm tired today and don't have an aggressive bone in my body, so the trip home from the park was very relaxing. I did between 60 and 65 because even my foot was tired. I got off the freeway and slowly made it down Madison as usual and headed home. I got past about the 3rd big intersection and noticed the 6 lane boulevard (3 lanes on either side of course) was virtually absent of cars. Heaven. I was in the middle lane and then saw it, a cop car up ahead. There were only three cars at that moment heading east on Madison: me, the cop car and the car in front of me. (I'm laughing so hard, I can't stop laughing at this one.). The cop car was in the inside lane. The speed limit is 45 mph and I was doing almost that and they weren't, probably around 40, so I pulled up next to the cop and we all drove quietly down Madison. I didn't even look at the cop because I was too tired to move my head. And then it happened! A car went flying by all of us in the outside lane. I swear to God I felt like John Mcenroe when I started to laugh and said outloud "You can't be serious!" I just couldn't believe it and knew what was going to happen. And almost as if a lightbulb went off, the guy slowed down when he realized he'd just blown by a cop. I just kept thinking "How can you be that stupid?" There are only three cars on the freakin' road and you didn't notice one 's a cop!!??? By that time I was laughing so hard I thought I'd pee my pants. The guy slowed down so much we all caught up to him! Still laughing MAO I finally looked at my cop and he looked at me. He smiled and shook his head. I slowed down so that he could pull in front of me and in back of the offender! Still laughing. The lights were turned on, then the siren. I left them at Madison and Mazanita. I laughed all the way to Save Mart. I laughed in Save Mart. I laughed all the way home and I'm still laughing. I'm so sorry you all couldn't be there!!! Some things are just too funny.

You know how you get talking, don't pay attention, but just keep walking and expect to make it through the doorway or the sliding glass door? I was at the park this morning dealing with one of my most impertinent little skunks and he wouldn't let me through to set the water bowls down. He just keep sliding backward informing me I "WASN'T ALLOWED." The more he slid the closer he got to the tree. I finally said "KNOCK IT OFF AND GET OUT OF HERE" and he turned to run away. Unfortunately the tree truck was there and it knocked him for a loop. I said "Oh my God honey, are you okay?" He just sat there dazed and confused for a few moments. Sorta the way I felt when I walked into the tree limb at the park and had that stupid concussion! Remember that one?!

And then there's Fenway. Those of you who follow my blog know Fenway is the pip squeak to the left (T-Bone's on the right and yes, they're both exhausted from playing too hard). Those of you who don't, Fenway was a rescue from a homeless couple at the park and my darling MIL was kind enough to adopt him (thank you Mom!). Rob called the other morning laughing and said "I have a good one for you." Apparently Rob leaves his bedroom door cracked a bit because Fenway waits for him to wake up then bolts down the hallway, burst through the door, jumps on the bed and welcomes Rob to a new day. So the other morning Rob wakes up and can hear Fenway come running down the hall as usual. Then THUD. Unfortunately the door was closed.

What? I couldn't make this crap up!!!

And this is an Award from my darling Bindi. Thank you. I should have it up by 2011!

Love you all and hope you're having a beautiful Sunday (Monday to our Aussie and European friends),

XO Suze

Petunias...

2009-07-25T21:19:00.000-07:00

You'd think a master gardener would know better than this. Nope!!! I bought them, put them on the patio and this happened within days. You know I don't kill snails. I've kept this six-pack for over a good 2 months hoping for some sort of recovery. I recently decided I didn't have a prayer in hell. Yes, it's true, even the best of us fail at growing sticks.
~
XO ;)

I WON!!!

2009-07-23T22:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, he's that handsome and he that's smart. I won because he entered me in a damn public radio contest. Who knew!!!??? I love men, don't get me wrong, but apparent love dead men more!!! Bach and Vivaldi. I couldn't live without either. Rob knows that, so he entered me a public radio contest to win free tickets to the Bach Festival in beautiful Carmel. I won. You bet your ass I did!!!

See that? I won.

I'm so shaken up I can't see straight.

Oh dear lord, I gotta look like the third photo when I attend? Now that's a damn joke, right? I'll have to get my sling backs off the disco ball at The Wild Onion.

2009-07-22T02:47:00.000-07:00

I'm using the same photo because I can't come up with anything better. (God that photo makes my arm look really slim. Trust me, it ain't that slim!)

I'm gonna tell you a funny story. I've had a headache all day, so that explains a whole hell of a lot. I would have called Dad but didn't because my head hurt too damn much. Thank God I didn't!!!

As most of you know BB (the F****** Mercedes) has been in the shop since last Thursday. What's today. Like Tuesday? Well technically Wednesday. Damn. You know, the last time this happened it cost over $500 just for the damn rental car. Pissed? Ha! The car was supposed to be fixed Monday and back in my loving arms by 5 pm. Ha! It was the "fuel relay." The part was ordered Friday and everything fixed Monday. Ha!

You all know by now my family is made up of a bunch of comedians. Dad had me down on the ground holding the damn cell phone to the exhaust as he listened to the car. No, not once. Like 5 freakin' times. He told me what was wrong. WRONG!!!!! My dad is a master mechanic and he was wrong according to the Mercedes shop. Ha! You have no idea how fun it is to prove Dad wrong. It was as if I'd died and gone to Heaven!!! I could hardly wait to tell him it was the fuel relay, but I had such a damn headache I couldn't. Then the shit hit the fan. No Mercedes Monday. No Mercedes Tuesday. Then the big reveal. No fuel relay problem even though they'd ordered the f******* part. Guess what the problem is? Exactly what my father said it is. What? You think I'm going to tell him he's right? NO!!!!!!!! Otin, baby can I please have the backhoe and an umbrella cuz I need to chill.
~
XO

New Avatar!!!

2009-07-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

HA!!! Well...almost. I don't know how to change it. Can't remember and can't figure it out (suggestions are welcome). Yes, trust me, I've tired really, really hard, but nope. (Look at my lamp. He's ogling me! I love that little guy. I'll tell you his story some day.)

Okay, so back to me. I had just come in from the garden after doing what I do best...water, and remembered what Cinnamon said (I'm paraphrasing of course) "Wouldn't it be nice to see Suze's ponytail sticking through her pink baseball cap." Well I didn't have my pink baseball cap on, I had on the lovely hat I received from Shara before she left to drive "Pinky half way around the world." As most of you know there's a new thrill going around : Take a photo of the back of your head. Being a single woman now, that's really hard. My first attempt is below. Not too bad, but not too good. At least I caught myself in the mirror. Hell, that was hard enough. My second attempt (above) was much better, but you'll never get a full back of the head photo because I don't know how to capture it. Perhaps if I held the camera above my head, but that would make my arms just look stupid. I'm not going to do that because I'm an artist and have integrity. I'm also a human being and have pride!

Oh, and just so you know, I hadn't showered in two day, so my hair was dirty in this photo. It was also about 105 degrees outside so everything seemed to be clinging to my sweat!!! NO, I'm not kidding. Do you watch the news? But just so you know, I wash hats like stuffed animals. Yup, put her throught the wash, then the dryer. Look at that little cutie!!! You bet she held up. (Just so you know: A wee bit of detergent, warm water, gentle cycle, rinse, rinse, dry. With softener strip.)

XO ;)

THANKS SHARA!!! I LOVE IT!!!

Freedom...

2009-07-16T00:47:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVJVRywgmYM
This is absolutely not the post I'd planned, but found this video tonight and fell in love. It reminds me so of Robyn's "Hugs Video!" I don't care what anyone thinks about Michael Jackson, this is about people coming together, laughter, pure joy. I think it's very special and hope you agree. It made me laugh and cry.

My younger sister spent years in Europe. She raised two daughters while there who speak German, French and English. They are all free spirits. This video reminds me of them. Yes, I'm smiling through tears. Why? Because I know they'd do this in a second!!! (And to those who follow my blog, just so you know...Laur, Amanda and Ali.)
~
XO

Looking out the kitchen window...

2009-07-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

Happy July 6th!
~
That's not the flag up at the moment. The American flag is flying, but that's a cutie from a few days ago. Have a nice day.
~
XO

2009-07-04T04:00:00.000-07:00

She made it. This photo has nothing to do with her arrival. It's just the first one I saw and clicked on. It was taken when we first moved here 5 years ago. I know because the bookcases aren't "finished." The moldings aren't on, and magazines are lining the shelves and not put away which means the books aren't unpacked! Funny.

Yes, it's true, I don't listen to HGTV when it comes to decorating. I firmly believe a dininig room should also be a library. I'm serious. No really, I am. Why? Because why not? I've always believed rooms should have a duel purpose. Will my house sell? Of course. HGTV isn't right about everything. It's a great house and will appeal to so many buyers. Books aren't going to deter a buyer, nor Leah! Yup Leah, you bet your ass every shelf is loaded with books!!! And no, I'm not selling. Not right now at least.

Magazines. Don't even get me started. That subject is just stupid funny. And yes, I built the bookcases while at UCLA. They're actually beautiful once all the molding is slapped on. Obviously it isn't on in this photo. What? I am not perfect.

Shara's here. She's sleeping, but I'm not. You all know it's funny because Newman has been dead 6 months. How do I know? Because of the full moon. He died during a full moom and not one goes by without my heart dragging along side it. Nothing has changed. I miss him every single day. Six months have come and gone and here we sit. How could he just leave me? I do miss him so. It's funny how life goes on. How Shara arrives, how we eat pizza, how we watch Dateline and discuss Michael Jackson, how we move on. And yet, in the pit of my stomach I remember that boy and the day we moved into this house, put up the bookshelves and attempted to make a home. Who knew 5 years ago I'd be without Newman today and without Rob.

Life is so unpredictable.
XO
~
P.S. Oh, and Bob, just so you know, Shara doesn't eat bacon. That's just too damn funny. After all I went through to get those 8 slabs! Stop by. You can have it. Share 4 with Megan. *Suze rolls eyes in head.*

A visitor from Texas...

2009-07-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

THAT WOMAN IS COMPLETELY UNRELIABLE!!!

I'm exhausted waiting! I was late to the park. Hauled ass to get there behind an idiot doing 60 in the freakin' fast lane. Hauled ass back behind an idiot doing 65. I got around him and pulled in behind another idiot doing 65. What? Bunch a damn fools. Read the signs!!! Right after the sign that reads "Speed Limit 65," the next one say "Slow Traffic Move To The Right." Am I the only one reading the freakin' signs? Apparently.

I bought bacon. Forgot everything else, so Rob has to pick up the slack, but I remembered bacon. I went to the butcher and bought 8 slices of slab bacon. We laughed because she knows I'm a vegetarian. Smart ass said "You know how to cook this, don't you." Is everyone against me?!

I tried to call Shara. You know me and phone numbers. I know. I suck. I thought the most recent incoming was her. But behold...I dialed Cece. Left a lovely message. Clicked the next one. Left a nice message for my Mom. Next. Got my darling friend Veronica up in the mountains. We chatted a bit and she had a good laugh. Finally found the right phone number, but Shara "...isn't accepting calls" at the moment. Where's that little chicken neck? I'm gonna kill her!

I'll post when I have good news. I think we should place bets. Odds are she isn't arriving today. What do you think? I gotta go. I "accidently" left T-Bone outside last night for the FIRST TIME EVER!!! No, not the whole night, just about 2 hours. He's not an outside dog, he went bonkers. He broke through the garage door and popped the screen. A $200 door and he busted it!!! Damn! I have to buy new screen. Life. It's so unpredictable.

Cece just called because I called her. That's too funny. She and the kids are at the lake swimming. It's hot in Arkansas. It's hot here. Hell, it's hot everywhere. No, Shara still isn't here.

Life.
XO

She's so close. You know? She thought she was just an hour away, but she's like SIX!!! Too damn funny. Yes, the bathroom's ready and so is the bed. FINALLY!!! Now we wait for the princess. Yes, I know, stupid funny. When she arrives, she'll arrive. I can hardly wait!

I said,
"The house is a mess honey, so be prepared."
She's like family and like family doesn't really care. She said,
"All I want to see are the roses."
I said, "Good luck honey!"
Why? Because when Dr. P instructed me to let the garden go I took her literally. A wild raspberry took over and has never relented. I think it's swallowed the whole back 40 in less than 9 months. Seriously.
~
Yes, Shara (Queenie!) our blogging buddy has arrived from Texas via L.A.. She called last night from the vicinity of Hearst Castle. Damn! Was I right or what!!!??? I told Bindi Shara should take Hwy 1 and sure enough she was already on it. It's the artist in her. Oh, and DAMN, she's almost here!!! Of course I still have a migraine, but will I turn her away? Of course not. She should arrive tomorrow around noon and will stay the night, or two. It's like a sister rolling in. You know what I mean? ! I have a million things to do to prepare for her visit, but here I sit. Why? Because my head hurts and I don't know where to start!!!
~
I asked what she wanted to eat. She informed me that the desert was very cruel to her...she stayed with friends in Arizona who were on a fast and vegans. Obviously it can't get worse!!! She should only eat cake!!! I should be baking. Can anyone bake here? Shara needs cake.

The frig is stocked. Trust me.

And the kitties are on their best behavior...

No really, they are.

Well...maybe they will be on Thursday.

This is going to be a running blog, so new photos and text will be added as time permits. Wish me luck and those who know Queenie, stop by and give a hug and a "hey!" This should be a fabulous few days with our darling friend here. Hopefully she'll get on and say "Hi!"

You know what's so fun? She's actually driving her own car and navigating the west on her own. She's such a gem. I'll get her link up so those who don't know her can visit. She's an art teacher in Texas and she's kick ass. She takes gorgeous photos and I've told her she can only take GORGEOUS photos of me. Is that self-centered?! What?!

P.S. I know Bindi won't mind. Shara's the woman who saved Bindi. She drove hours from Texas to rescue a pregnant Bindi and Serene. Shared her house with them, loved them, nurtured them. She's one of the most beautiful women on this planet. She humbles me. I'm sitting here sharing this with you because I know if I did NOTHING to prepare for her visit, it would be okay. But I gotta go because I have so much to do. Having her here is truly an honor.

Yes...of course I'd do this for all of you. *Suze rolls eyes in head.*

The journey begins...

2009-06-22T18:38:00.000-07:00

It's funny how you arrive at art. It's a journey and not an easy one. Everyone thinks, oh, you just slap some paint down and you're done. No. It's work from beginning to end. And it starts with a blank, gessoed canvas. You sit, you look. And then you sit some more.

I went into the closet today to search for a gessoed canvas. Wow. Haven't seen this in over five years. I painted it at UCLA for an Honors Study class with Henry Hopkins back in the early 90's. Henry was a dear friend. He was the chairman of the art school at UCLA and the director of the Arm and Hammer Museum in LA as well as the former director of the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. I loved that man. And I know he loved me. Why? Because I was so pissed off when I met him. I was dealing with smoking in my sculpture studio and I was livid. Absolutely f****** livid. He didn't help me. I went to the LA Times and they wrote a kick ass piece and the Regents of California got involved and banned smoking from all classrooms on UC campuses. No. I don't screw around. Ever. Henry and I became dear friends and I took numerous honors classes with him. This was one. I was concurrently taking "Great American Authors" and read about Ben Franklin. There was a woman in the book. I painted her for my honors class. The pearls are real. They're glued on. She's holding real gems in her hand. Henry said "Sue, I didn't see her like that." I didn't either initally. I got an A+. Not because Henry was my friend, because it was good. Henry knew art. He never screwed around about art. Never. He would never yank my chain. If it sucked, I'd know. He actually wanted me to become a photographer. I told him I didn't want to. He informed me I was missing my calling. Hummmmmmmmmm.

Pretty. Yes, I'm looking down into canvases I know so well.

Another.

It really is a journey.

Three gessoed canvasas waiting for me. Why didn't I gesso the sides?

Wow. I didn't finish that?

I thought I painted over that. Hummmmmmmmm. I grabbed it and hung it in Rob's old office. It looks lovely.

Yes, it's all begins with a white canvas. Trust me. I'd know.

I think this is my problem...

2009-06-22T03:32:00.000-07:00

LEO

The good:

Generous and warmhearted

Creative and enthusiastic

Broad-minded and expansive

Faithful and loving

The bad:

Pompous and patronizing

Bossy and interfering

Dogmatic and intolerant

XO The Bandit.

2009-06-20T15:50:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a few months off. With so few comments I realize this isn't what I'm supposed to do or where I'm supposed to be. I'll come back and figure it out, but for now, no. This is simply not where I'm supposed to be. You know how full my plate. Take care. I love you all.

Challenging Fields, Barns and Al Held...

2009-06-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

It's true. As an almost architect I'm a huge barn fan. Huge I tell you. My dad's and even bigger barn fan. A few years ago I was looking for a gift to send him and found an artist in, I think, North Carolina with gorgeous note cards of barns...and this one!!! Of course I bought the package and kept this one. I found it yesterday while cleaning a pile of...you know...stuff. It still cracks me up! If you grew up in the country and have ever taken a shortcut through a field you aren't supposed to trespass, you're familiar with honest to God fear! Oh, and then you have to out run the animals!

I'm giving credit to the artist. That's her. Hope she's still around. She's a photographer with lots of gorgeous photos.

Yes it's true, the Hellman's estate looked down on us and famous artist, Al Held was just below us. We were surrounded by wealth, but we lived in a humble abode. But as a kid I love looking at the barn Al lived in. He'd converted a big old thing into a home and it was so beautiful. My sisters and I would walk by and I'd ask them to stop so I could think. We'd talk about life and what we wanted to do with it. I'd always reply "I want to live in a barn." You know me and my sisters by now...yes, the laughter was deafening. How rude. And yes, hilarious!!! But I loved that barn and still do to this day. If I could move home this minute and into a house, I'd buy that barn. But I don't have a couple million to spend!

Al was very famous. Painted HUGE canvases. You know like 20'x 50'. Just enormous. He lived half the year in our town and half the year in Italy. I was at UCLA when I saw both homes featured in Architectual Digest. I smiled. Al died in 2005 or 06 and wasn't the nicest guy in the whole world, but he was my guy because he lived in a converted barn, just down the hill and employed lots of my family members. He always seemed to require lots of heavy equipment! Google him. I'm sure you'll come up with something! In fact, I'm going to Google him!

Megan, RC's bouquet was still beautiful last night. She's moved on, but I'll keep you posted. I think we should have some ice cream to celebrate. In fact I think we should celebrate every day as you suggested until the last pedal drops. Ice cream is on sale at SaveMart. I'll get some.

Father's Day...

2009-06-18T23:37:00.000-07:00

I have always sent my dad serious card. Always. But today I saw her and knew in an instant. It's the only card I saw and the only one I opened. Please God, say it isn't so!!! Those of you who follow this blog and know me well, know. Is that funny, or what?!!!

Oh God please! *Turns backhoe around and starts diggin'!* No, you don't get better than this.

I love you Daddy. And thanks.

the KILLER INSIDE ME...

2009-06-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

As you all know I cleared out Rob's office. I stuffed all his books in about 10 billion white plastic garbage bags and booted them into the garage. Why? Because it was too painful to have them in clear view. I was doing laundry the other day and one fell out with a wee thud. I turned to look and said outloud, "Jimmy, what the hell are you doing here?" Then laughed my ass off. Now I know Jim Thompson's dead, but apparently the publishing company used Jimmy Bastard as a model.

Rob took all his books last week, but I hid this one for Leah!!! Yes, it really is amazing how those bastards look alike! And it's also amazing how criminal appellate lawyers and almost everyone involved in law enforcement read crime fiction. Don't even get me started!!!

Oh, I should add, it's an amazing book. I'll let Leah critique it for you.

XO

Bottles...

2009-06-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

My beautiful sister Laura presented a box of bottles she'd collected for me during my visit to NY to take care of my other sister's family while she was in Cape Cod. God, that was a mouth full! Yes, a whole big box of bottles! Above are two of my favorites. I didn't fly the box home when I returned to CA because I didn't trust the airline to gently embrace them. Instead, I sent them via USPS. Cost about 30 bucks!!! Yes, it was a BIG box. They arrived safely and I've cherished each and every one over the past five years.

A few weeks ago a kitty knocked the blue bottle off the shelf in the kitchen. It broke when it hit the porcelain sink. It didn't stand a chance against the sink. I couldn't throw it away. I kept it on the counter. All broken. I threw it away today. Reluctantly. It's funny what you hold on to for dear life.

Happy Birthday Random Chick ~ with love from "The Crew!!!"

2009-06-16T20:16:00.000-07:00

UPDATE:

OH MY GOD. FORGOT TO ADD, THIS IS FROM ALL OF US.

Yes, it's true. I said I would not, but I went out in the spinkler system to retrieve this. Why? Because I love you so and I saw the bouquet. I actually saw it when the Perfect Moment roses came into view (looks like roses in a blue bird's nest!). So I gathered without turning off the sprinkler system. Yup. It's unkind. Gets you on the way in and on the way out.

Then think about staying in it trying to gather a bouquet. Yup. Unkind. Probably 20 hits! But look honey, I'm sopping wet, but look!!! Look what I found for you! And I put it in a lead crystal vase.

Yes, I've taken photos from all sides...

Against my rug. Who knew the hydrangea would match so perfectly. Speaking of hydrangea, I turned with a huge bouquet of roses and saw the hydrangea and just knew. Perfect match!

I hope you enjoy darling. I'm so sorry I'm late. I hope this makes for up for it. You know how much I love you.

With all my "wet" heart, Happy Birthday darling...

Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

2009-06-13T02:43:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here thinking. Do you realize artists spend more than half their time sitting, thinking? Yup, we do. So trust me, this isn't out of the ordinary. I've realized something about all of you. What do you think it is?

You Nuts?

2009-06-11T17:42:00.000-07:00

Mommy, I want more...

My sisters and I often call it "Stupid funny..."

2009-06-10T18:16:00.001-07:00

Well, as you all know I couldn't give T-Bone "Butterbeary." So today I went shopping for new teddies. I found another Ty with tag still in ear (Molassas) and a side kick. Adorable.

So while Butterbeary's relaxing in the studio let's enjoy the fun.

Whoops! What the hell are they doing here? They're supposed to be at the end. Oh well.

Here we go round the mulberry bush.

The mulberry bush,

the mulberry bush.

Here we go round the mulberry bush,

So early in the morning.

This is the way we wash our clothes,

Wash our clothes,

wash our clothes,

This is the way we wash our clothes,

So early Monday morning

(If I'm correct, it's Wednesday!)

This is the way we dry our clothes,

dry our clothes,

this is the way we dry our clothes,

so early Tuesday morning.

(If I'm correct, it's Wednesday.)

The "clean" crew.

Some completely wacky dog I met on an outing. No not really. It's T-Bone.

P.S . Trust me, I couldn't have scripted this better.

My life. What? You think it changed from yesterday?

2009-06-09T01:30:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhhhh, the wee one. Bought him for T-Bone today. I always arrive home with kitty toys, but nothing for T-Bone in the past few years (because he thinks all the kittie toys are his too), so went shopping. Yes, a good eye, is always a good eye. T-Bone has a long history with stuffed animals. Mommy is good! Most stuffed animals make it a few hour before becoming a pinata, but some survive. Take for instance the stuffed teddy bear from FAO Schwartz. Found it in a second hand shop for peanuts! Knew it was good. It's survived 9 years of abuse and probably 30 launderings. Only missing it's nose and a few shoulder hairs! This one too. Knew it instantly. Probably because of the tag still in it's ear. Paid $1.99. Hummmmmm. Tag, still in it's ear. Showed T-Bone, cut off the tag then to his utter dismay, threw it in the wash. Googled. Hummmmmm. Worth over $30 with tag!!! Oh well.

Oh, he's gonna be so loved!

Bijou, for Christ's sakes, it's just a teddy!

I love him too!!! For Christ's sakes, he's just a teddy. Right?

PS Yes...they dragged him about a foot away from where he started!!! I had to rescue him.

PPS He's from TY and his name is Butterbeary! He's cute!

2009-06-04T02:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLBgmbXBOb8

This is for so many, but mostly for Leah and Heggie. It's precious Leah. Please share it with Heggie.

I love you so. You know that.
XO

A day in the life...

2009-06-03T18:06:00.000-07:00

MIL's in Massachusetts, so Fenway's with Rob every day. Oh the photos are horrible, but you try to do better!!! They never slow down. Look at him though. Isn't he just beautiful? Can you believe the difference from homeless and sick and now healthy and beautiful. Life is simply amazing. And yes, T-Bone and Fenway love one another and they also look like one another!!! Just different sizes!!!!

They're exhausted. They've been running around like insaniacks. Yes, Fenways looks beautiful. T-Bone's put on about 20 lbs since Daddy went away. Just stress and depression. He loves his dad very much and misses him. We'll get it off. We've started walking to train for the marathon!

No, I couldn't get a good photo for the life of me. Trust me. I tried. Aren't they adorable together?

I ended the life of the overgrown topiary rose. Cut hundreds and hundreds of blooms off and saved this many. Ohno was depressed I didn't save more.

Look at that boy!

And that blob of pink. I just stuck them in the bowl until I could put them in vases. But frankly, I should have just left the beauties in the bowl.

You know how my roses are out of control this year. This one fell on the ground and came up through the hydrangea. Nature. Ya gotta love it!

Phatty Foo-Foo. Has too much hair. Gets too hot. I'm clipping her hair as often as possible, but until I get it right, she does her best to naturally air condition.

Yes, this is actually my life.

Time...

2009-06-02T00:06:00.000-07:00

My darling niece Cailee and her purple violin. 16th Birthday.

It passes. You know? For the first time tonight I felt the weight of my life and the loss of a dream. I'm a single woman at almost 50. And I don't know where to put that. I have no idea why it happened tonight, but it did. I honestly loved that man.

I know I promised you photos. These are photos of copies of photos!!! That's almost too funny to write. But true. So you'll understand the poor photo quality. Why? Because my sister's an ass. She got all huffy with me a few years ago. Cailee was supposed to spend the summer with us for her 16th birthday. Things went wacky, my sister and her hubby had a huffy fit and the next thing you know I was deleting all her damn emails. I was so pissed. Unfortunately I accidently deleted all the photos of my niece and nephew while I was on my rant. Damn. So what you're about to see is all I have left. Yes, photos of photos of photos. Don't even get me started.

Yes, she's stunning. And smart. She's now in college. And I miss her terribly.

Leah, I told you she had a purple violin!!! It's the only thing she asked for on her 16th, and she got it. I just think that's so funny. You know, when she first started to play around 14, she was horrible. She'd get on the phone and play for me and OH MY GOD my ears hurt. But she got better, and better and better and before we all knew it she was playing in the orchestra and the quartet. She'd call and I'd play Handel or Vivaldi for her and she'd play Handel or Vivaldi for me. I love that girl so much.

Oh Cailee. I miss you so.

Aunt Suzy and Ali (Alison). This is my other darling, darling niece. Probably the smartest kid I've ever met. That photo, pure joy. My sister was taking photos and captured a perfect moment between me and Ali. Just absolute joy. She's Laur's daughter. If I'd been a mom, I'd want Ali for my daughter. I love her with all my heart and I love this photo so. My sister Laura had three of the most amazing kids in the whole world.

I have a beautiful family and I miss them so very much. I realize I just want to sell this house, pack up my family, and go home.

Love to all,

What?

2009-05-29T00:16:00.000-07:00

The "hills are alive my ass." Momma always told me there'd be days like these. Strange days indeed...

Black Beauty and I were traveling down Greenback Blvd (no, trust me, this ain't it!) thinkin' if I just run a few more errands I can ease off the ass pedal tomorrow (I'm exhausted). Yes. The famous words of a moron. But I got all the kitty food, found some wonderful food for humans at the discount store and headed to Safeway for "real" stuff. Whoop...missed the street. Okay, so in 90 degree weather in a car throwing heat from every orifice (if you read my blog you know Black Beauty has heating issues) and no air conditioning, I headed to the next familar block to drive up and around and head a few extra miles BACK to Safeway. Oh...lucky, lucky me. Got behind a guy doing about 25 in a 40mile/hour zone. I had less than a few blocks to go and actually though, "Why bother?" But I did. I got around him and pulled into the middle lane behind a Brinks truck and planned to pull back into the inner lane to turn left on San Juan, or something or other. However. Life had different plans.

Yes, this is real. Remember when I was "numb and tingling?" This is what was recorded. It was in the ozone layer today. Trust me.

Oh...this is just a precusor!

I had my crystals knocked around, and trust me, not by Ohno.

And we didn't enjoy this today. Man, my grout needs to be cleaned. Oh right, HGTV is forever telling me I need "GRANITE." Leave me alone. I'm so sick of hearing it. Realtors and HGTV are in cahoots to homongenize every freakin' household in America. And yes, I'm aware Ohno has flower issues.

Excuse me. I digress. "No don't!!!" I haven't made it to the DMV yet!!! (The gardener in me wants to run over there and tell the homeowner "A nice shrub will hide the meters and make your home more attractive.")

Not sense the BMW met it's Mustang match.

Oh that. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmm. Let me tell you a little story. I was behind a Brinks truck thinking "Oh God I wish I had all that money" when he speeded up and I speeded up with him. What a joy ride. Then I saw it. A yellow light. Hummmmmmmmmmmmm. I could have slammed on the brakes with the BMW and she would have responded. The Mercedes? No. Not in a million years. I'd end up in Arkansas. Trust me, there was no way to stop in Black Beauty, so I gunned it. I was a third of the way through the intersection when I saw a flash. I thought it was the sun reflecting off the Brinks truck. I felt lucky. Then I didn't. I had a cop car in back of me with, and I quote "top of the line LED lights...strobe. Could it get worse? Yup!

I pulled into a parking lot to get away from the riff-raff and to spare myself the embarassment. You know me. I'm very modest and half smart. Why suffer when you don't have to!!! The officer was too kind. He approached the car and the first words out of my mouth, "swear to God..."I know what I've done. I just knew the Mercedes couldn't stop in time."And you all know that's the honest truth. No way!!! She's so, so different from the BMW. And he laughed. And that was it. We hit it off. He asked if I'd seen the "flash." I said no. Thought it was a reflection, but now know it wasn't. He said "I can write you a ticket." I asked what the ticket cost. He said violating the intersection was $410. I nearly died and said, " Honey, you gotta be kidding me." He said "No." I said if you write the ticket, is it less?" "No." "What do I do?" I never saw it?" He said, you fight it. But I'm not going to. I'll just pay it. I didn't pay attention and I'm guilty. He got a call while "interviewing" me..."Yes...yes..." gave a code and then said "in pursuit of a Mercedes." At least the car got attention!!!

No, that's not me, but exactly how I looked, just in pink. Oh and in black!!

I spend thousands and thousand of dollars in that community every year. I won't spend a single dime again. Why? Because idots get away with so much, and me, I didn't get away with anything. I'll pay the $410 fine, but after that, I won't visit their community ever again. It's all they're going to get from me for the rest of my life. Did I make a mistake? Yes. Absolutely. Did I deserve a $410 fine? No. I'm a good driver, but I made a mistake. But not a $410 mistake. And so it goes.

Susan...

2009-05-25T21:02:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jmhkKza14U&feature=popular

Please enjoy. Have a beautiful Tuesday.

Sharing...

2009-05-24T18:00:00.001-07:00

Life is short. If you don't share photos, what's the point of taking them? This was taken while I was at UCLA. My painting that now hangs in the foyer is behind me during a critique (yes the vase is actually that big). My hair was very "puffy!!!" This is from the early 90's and when mom saw it said "Honey, you have wrinkles." I replied "Mom, I'm looking into the sun." *Rolled eyes in head.* Mothers. Wow, I was only about 32 or 33 here. How time flies. I would love just those wrinkles and that hair color! Oh, and that tee shirt. I loved that tee shirt. Trust me, you know me an cotton. I remember every tee shirt!!! I could probably pluck a few eyebrow hairs by the way! (You know what's so funny, this photo was taken almost 10 years before the photo with Mickey on the right!) I'll tell you something funnier. I love this photo because I'm not smiling. You hardly ever, ever see me not smiling. A friend captured this at a perfect moment. I wasn't even aware it was taken. Looking up to my professor like he's God! No, he wasn't.

Yes, those who follow my blog know this photo well. Mom saw it and asked "Where's dad?"

Here's dad (Pop, aka "Arm pit"), my darling grandfather (late 1950's). Dude, that cigs gonna kill ya.

I'm going to start sharing photos. I have hundreds and hundreds. If I don't show them, who the hell will see them? So get ready.

Love to all,

Me XO

Update: No, I can't get the photo out of the frame. It's actually attached to the glass. Oh and also, just so you know, it's a very tiny photo and frame. About 2x3 inches. I stole it from mom when I left for college. She hasn't forgiven me.

And Leah, you know what? I enlarged the photo and looked at Pop a long, long time. He was a beautiful man and in his 40's when this photo was taken. I asked him out loud, "What's your story?" I'll never know. Too often we don't ask. Everyone has a story that should be told because every life matters. I'll never know who my grandfather really was.

The Reason...

2009-05-24T17:13:00.000-07:00

Scott died of diabetic shock. The lesson is simple. If you're a diabetic take care of yourself because no one else can. And if you don't, the pain you leave behind in mind numbing.

Worst Drivers In The Country...

2009-05-22T12:22:00.000-07:00

Yes, the list is out and WE MADE IT!!! But THANK GOD we're behind NY and NJ and not #1!!! We're #4. New York is #1, New Jersey #2 . Bunch a losers.
~

Do I look like a bad driver? No. I'm three car lengths behind that...Toyota? Yes, it's true I'm taking a photo while probably doing 80, but I'm still on the pavement, thank you very much.

Yes, California highways are littered with trash. Sadly. Yes, this is an ugly stretch of Hwy 80. Yes, traffic is rather sparse. Probably, cuz this ain't rush hour baby! A bit of geography. The mountains are the Sierras. The white snow capped ones are Tahoe.

The local NBC anchor was discussing this very topic this morning and said "You know what I hate? The guy/gal doing 65 in the fast lane. MOVE OVER!!! Wow, sounds like me! We've been down that highway before, haven't we?!

Be safe out there this holiday weekend kids.

P.S. Yes Bob and Jo. I deleted. I couldn't look at it. Thank you so much for your love and support. We will always remember together. If I learn why it happened, I'll inform you. Love you both dearly. XO XO

What's up?

2009-05-16T14:14:00.000-07:00

I posted at the Wild Onion. Go there to see what I'm thinking about. Yes, this is the new me. I'm down sizing.

XO

Fade to black...

2009-05-15T18:06:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug2UuwRLaZI
Please click. You won't regret it.Cece just called. She woke me out of a dead sleep. My first words: "Oh my God I'm so late for the park." This went on for a few minutes. Then I realized it was Friday evening and not Saturday morning when I saw the sun setting in the west and not rising in the east.

Yes, Mom said there'd be days like these. Trust me.

A Day In The Life..

2009-05-15T04:15:00.000-07:00

My beautiful boy. He's put on 20 lbs since his dad left. Just stress and depression. We have to work on that.He loves his dad so much.

T-Bone. "Honey, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Leave the kitty toys alone."

It's going to be very hot here over the weekend, so I cooked lots of stuff yesterday. For those of you who want to become vegetarians here's what to do. Peppers and onions. The best in burritos. With a bit of beans, sour cream, avacado and tomatoes. Oh, and salsa. Rob likes red, I like green. God, almost forgot. Cheddar cheese!!! Not mild, sharp. And yes, cook lots of it ahead of time so you don't have to cry every day!!!

The other dish is zucchini, tomatoes, a whole head of parsley and scallions. I eat it with Meyer's lemon oil and herb goat cheese from Trader Joes. Seriously. But if you aren't a vegetarian, you can put any of this stuff on a burrito with chicken or beef and have a truly wonderful meal.

Yup, also made lasagna. First time ever...broccoli and zucchini lasagna. Wow. The broccoli is insane. Zucchini is good. I remember making spinach lasagna when I went home to NY and my younger brother saying "Sue, I'll give you 50 bucks to make more. That's how good it was. Yes, I'm a good cook.

Also made broccoli, sharp cheddar cheese and onion quiche. Yes, it's excellent!!! I actually made two.

Blob And The Baseboard...

2009-05-12T03:34:00.000-07:00

Maestro helping me paint the living/dining room

Yes I did change out the switch plate to white. You guys made the last post such a blast. Thanks. My Moms don't read comments, so I'm going to print them out and send them along.

Does anyone have a suggestion? The wee baseboard is butted right up against the wood floor. So to paint it is insane. Paint gets on the wood floor no matter what I do. Yes I would love to be able to replace the baseboard with something more substantial, but I can't afford to at this point in my life because it's in every room, so have to work with what the Lord gave me. Did I just say that?!!! That's too funny. See how awful it looks? It's still just primed and not even completely. I have miles and miles of it to complete in the next few months and I don't know how. I need help.

Yes, that's Maestro. Aka, "Blob." Aka, "Gandhi." Okay, let's face it, he's simply 21 lbs. of kitty.

Love to all and thanks for embracing my moms, sisters, etc.. You guys rock!!!

XO Suze

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY ONE AND ALL...

2009-05-10T12:50:00.001-07:00

Yes. Leave me alone. I know you've all seen this photo something like 3 times!. Cut me some slack. It the easiest photo to find!!! Of course it's MOMMY!!! HI MOMMY!!! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! I love you so much and I know you know.
~
That's Mom with her dad's arm pit when she was in her early 20's (1950's). After giving birth to me and my older sister. Hey Mom, your HOT!!! Of course I'm laughing Mommy. You know me.
~
Mom, I'll tell you something funny. When I came home I pulled into the gas station to fill the rental and who was there? Of course, Ginny. She freaked and said "OH MY GOD YOU LOOK JUST LIKE MOMMY." And then she was really pissed because I 'd flown home without informing her. I said "Ginny, it was supposed to be a surprise." She was still pissed!!! She's pissed till this day!! As you know. I just want to shake the crap out of that woman, but I can't shake a baby. You know I love her Mom. Perhaps she'll come around in the next decade!
~
Mommy, you know what else? As I was preparing to write this post I reflected on our family and our lives. We are so lucky. Nothing horrible has ever happened to any of us. We all love one another although we fight! Terribly disagree. Misunderstand one another. Well...you get the drift! But we're a very lucky family.
~
Thanks Mom for having me. I know I tell you all the time, but I want you to remember, so I'll say it one more. Mom, thanks for having me!!!
~
A few years ago I interviewed Mom. Yes, I do stuff like that. I want to write a book for my brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews. My questions were very specific. They were about the birth process of each and every child. Yup, all 9. Mom has an insane memory. Apparently I weighted 7lb-3oz. Labor took 8 hours and 10 minutes. She had to have stitches. But despite that she said "I was very happy." Is she nutty?
~
I love you Mommy. I love, love, love you. XO

Now for my other Mommy. My MIL. Mom has been here for me through thick and thin. She's the best. She's smart, thoughtful, kind and she's mine. I love her to death. So many people have MIL's they can't stand, but mine is a gem. She has never abandoned me. Even through the divorce. She loves me and I love her. Mom is a retired math teacher and still has grade school student who love and contact her (she's in her 80's!). Yes, she's that good. I was blessed to find a second family and I am forever grateful.

Mom has a terrific sense of humor. We get on the phone and laugh within minutes. No matter how awful things might be, we find something to laugh about. It's the same with my mom. Life is hard, but you navigate it through laughter. At least in my family. I find true comfort in that.

Mom reads my blog which thrills me! And she loves it and always tells me so. I know she reads things that aren't always kind, but still, she encourages me. That's a lady. And a friend. I realize my mom and my MIL are my dear, dear friends. I'm a very lucky woman.

My "running" sister. I'm going to run a marathon because of her.

Early 90's. Me, Laur and the wee one...Alan. Laura appears taller. What the hell's she wearing? I'm two inches taller than she is!! Yes, all my sisters are blondes. I'm the only brunette. Now the only grey brunette!!! They're still all blonde. I pulled up behind a car the other day with a license plate that read "Blondes do what brunettes only hope to." Ahhhhhhhhh, f*** you. Wanted to run Black Beauty straight up her Honda ass. And yes, it's true, none of us wear makeup. Not even mom. And just so you know. Laur looks exactly like mom. I don't. But I have a better tan.

Oh and did you notice? Alan's has one mean mullet. Giggie. Please take care of that! Well, honestly, you don't have to. He's now a mature 20 something year old and terribly gorgeous. Has very, very short hair.

Our Woodstock home. If only. This is a rental. I called the realtor a year ago and asked if the home owner would sell. She laughed and said "No." It's been in the family for DECADES. Not if I decide to squat. Home sweet home, Woodstock.

Me and Ginny delivering bikes to a niece and nephew. I'm sharing these photos because my mom gave us life and I'm forever grateful. Ginny's a bitch, but she's a great athlete and a great lady, but she's very narrow minded. Snap out of it honey. Baby, I'm not going to live forever!!! What will you say when I'm gone?

Beautiful offspring taken in the late 1990's. Sisters, Laur's and Jan's kids. Left to right...Mandy, architect, Des, landscaper, Alison, teacher, Val, phychologist. My beautiful, beautiful babies.

Mommy, look what you produced! All this. And Mommy, you know, that's the true measure of a life, what you leave behind. Look what Ma left us. Look at our beautiful lives. I can't imagine a luckier family. I just can't. Mommy, I love you. Happy Mother's Day.

Another Day in Paradise...

2009-05-06T14:40:00.000-07:00

Happy Wednesday!

It's beautiful here. The rain stopped, the sky's blue, it's in the 70's, there's a nice breeze and I'm hopeful life is going to be just fine.
~

I won't be around much over the next few months because I've taken on two huge projects and I've decided to finally train for that marathon I've been talking about (my 50th birthday present to myself). I promise to drop by when I can.
~

I love you all, and thanks for the beauty you bring to my life.
XO